I was told I'm boring

  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Aug 19, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    This was actually about 8 years ago but I think it might have effected my last relationship (of 4 years). I think my BF just wanted more excitement in his life. More adventure, more holidays, more everything. The 30 year age difference didn't help matters much, I don't think. My feeling is that I'm settled, don't go for the party lifestyle although I do go out and I do enjoy myself (I love to dance to oldies).

    Am I the only guy who enjoys staying home, dinners, movies, theater and a weekend trips? Do guys who are opposites- party person v home body make it together? I was all for him going out with his friends on weekends and we did go out together but more like dinners etc and the occasional dance.

    So I'm trying to figure out how to meet guys and let them know I'm not the going out every weekend person.
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    Aug 20, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    You might have to meet yourself a nice young home-body type..??
    There are tons of younger guys that don't want to be out all the time...
    (How have you been?)
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Aug 20, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    I'm 20, and I enjoy all that. Definitely not a party animal.
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    Aug 20, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    I think the problem was the 30 yr difference. Too much difference in energy level
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 20, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    jayatl56 saidThis was actually about 8 years ago but I think it might have effected my last relationship (of 4 years). I think my BF just wanted more excitement in his life. More adventure, more holidays, more everything. The 30 year age difference didn't help matters much, I don't think. My feeling is that I'm settled, don't go for the party lifestyle although I do go out and I do enjoy myself (I love to dance to oldies).

    Am I the only guy who enjoys staying home, dinners, movies, theater and a weekend trips? Do guys who are opposites- party person v home body make it together? I was all for him going out with his friends on weekends and we did go out together but more like dinners etc and the occasional dance.

    So I'm trying to figure out how to meet guys and let them know I'm not the going out every weekend person.


    how about trying to date guys in your age group
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    Aug 20, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    I'm boring sometimes too, but only when my fun side goes wasted, or isn't beneficial to the environment I'm in... boring is great... you know why? Cause it makes FUN That Much MORE BETTER! icon_mad.gificon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif
  • FlypinHigh

    Posts: 465

    Aug 20, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    sugar daddy
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    Aug 20, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    Some guys prefer the quiet/settled life style. You just have to keep searching.

    I have always enjoyed quiet weekends/evenings and going to bed at a decent time.
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    Aug 20, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidYou might have to meet yourself a nice young home-body type..??
    There are tons of younger guys that don't want to be out all the time...
    (How have you been?)

    There are plenty of young guys that enjoy staying home and living a quiet life, but let's face it, most of them want some excitement and being on the go and there is nothing wrong with that. If there is ever a time in life to do that, it is as a young adult.
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    Aug 20, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    I enjoy those same things its the little things that matter most. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 20, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    Boring guys unite! icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    WhyWhySee saidI know for a fact I am boring. I spent almost the entire day cooking.


    A man who can cook is certainly, never boring! icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 20, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    I just write it in my profile on online dating sites.
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    Aug 20, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    I love doing everything you said. Boring is based on perception.
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    Energy level is one area where age does make a difference. There are exceptions to the rule, as always.

    There are a lot of guys who enjoy doing the same things as you do. You just have to find them. Opposites can attract, but whether they can last as a couple I think depends on how different they really are. If they can find any common ground, then it may not work out.

    On the other hand, it's my opinion that couples don't always have to do everything together. I'd like to date someone who has more energy than me. If he wants to go out while I stay home, that's perfectly fine with me. I need my alone time anyway. I need to be by myself sometimes to recharge and clear my head.
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    My idea of a wild exciting weekend involves laying on a couch, doing some light gardening then watching HGTV.
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:33 AM GMT
    JackBlair69 saidyawn.gif


    I yawned like 3 times while looking at this. Thanks.
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    You're Not boring, you're just not with the right person.
    And if you are, so what?
    You live for You, not for others. If you like what you do, that's all that matters. Just find the crowd who share the same interests as you. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:41 AM GMT
    the last guy i seriously dated told me i was boring, didnt have any friends, i was too co-dependant, jealous and that i didnt challenge him enough when we were at clubs.

    lol. despite the fact i felt like SHIT when he said that, i realized i needed to change up some things in my life, and let me tell you, ever since, ive loved noone but myself, and never been happier, some things changed from then, a lot actually, and im glad really... lol.
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    Aug 20, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    Hikari saidthe last guy i seriously dated told me i was boring, didnt have any friends, i was too co-dependant, jealous and that i didnt challenge him enough when we were at clubs.

    lol. despite the fact i felt like SHIT when he said that, i realized i needed to change up some things in my life, and let me tell you, ever since, ive loved noone but myself, and never been happier, some things changed from then, a lot actually, and im glad really... lol.


    I like how you were before, I like how you are now...
    I just like you. icon_cool.gif
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Aug 20, 2012 12:51 PM GMT
    Thanks guys. There were lots of positive rubs out there. I appreciate that. You're right, there are guys out there who are not party animal types but I haven't met him just yet.

    If you're in or around Atlanta, drop me a line! icon_biggrin.gif

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    Aug 20, 2012 1:01 PM GMT
    It was likely the 30 year age difference. Although, if you have things you haven't tried and think "I might want to do that while I'm able to" I would do them. Think Tony Horton level.
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    Aug 20, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    Boring?

    No, not at all.

    Just different.

    Problem with big age differences is that to you the things that a younger partner will want to do, or experience are not new, and won't excite you in the same way.

    Its hard to get enthusiastic about, for example seeing a movie for the 3rd or 4th time - and naturally you weigh up the energy expenditure when it comes to re-visiting those kinds of experiences - often you'll not want to.

    Going out every weekend in order to experience something new will be fresh and new to someone who hasn't done it for the last 30 years...

    People move on in life - work out what they like and what they dont and often become less open to experimentation... they become home bodies.

    Glad that you encouraged your bf to go out and enjoy life -the alternative - encouraging him not to, but to forgoe the experiences would have just bred resentment in him for missing out on the experiences he should have been having at his age.

    Dare I say - looking for a guy who has similar experiences may be the only way to find someone compatible long term.

    *Hugs*

  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Aug 20, 2012 1:20 PM GMT
    I attract younger party types but I think it's because I used to be a partier myself, but I've grown quite sick of it. I'm kind of a homebody now, I enjoy staying in and cooking something awesome. Clubs definitely don't excite me, it's just a bunch of liquored up people rubbing their genitals all I've u to terrible music.

    I still like going out to catch live bands, out door adventures are big for me too. But the party life is extremely boring to me. And if a younger guy doesn't like that, he can get the fuck out. Or back a bag and get fucked on the side of a mountain. Your choice. Lol

    I think u're just meeting the wrong guys.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 20, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    30 year age difference? Wow!

    A couple of things.... and you already know this and probably the answer to your question...

    "Gaydom" is youth driven.. parties, drinking, excitement, fun.. in most cases.
    Gay guys are also into physical exercise in many cases and certainly looking good.

    You need to embrace that part with which you are comfortable and live your life the way you see fit. The issue is, most guys (not all) that are 30 years younger than you probably have a different focus (as they are at different points in their life).
    You probably aren't boring, you just have a way you like to live your life. Are you going to change?

    My suggestion is that you stick to somebody who shares many of the same interests and that may be hard, honestly. Fortunately there are sites that focus on these kinds of interests....hopefully friends can help as well.

    However, don't.. don't slight yourself that you are "boring". If you dont' think you are "balanced" enough, challenge yourself that you are going to explore additional interests and challenges. Accepting life, if you want it to change, is another topic for discussion.