• Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2007 3:46 AM GMT
    I have spent every minute of 2 and a half days with a guy. He was affectionate and all. Me myself was the same way too. That was just a few days ago.

    Now, after telling him that i like him, he says he doesn't like me and that he just had a good time.

    So, does being affectionate not mean you like the person?

    *Affectionate: meaning being sweet, holding hands, caressing, random kissess, hugging, public displays of affection, intimate moments, sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2007 4:16 AM GMT
    Some people enjoy intimacy "in the moment" without it reflecting their level of commitment, or even desire for ongoing intimacy in the future.

    One thing you didn't provide was context: You spent 2 1/2 days continually with this guy... but were those 2 1/2 days the first time you ever hung out? How well did you know eachother before that? If it wasn't very well, then you were probably reading too much into what was, for him, simply living out a fantasy of connection in the moment. A lot of people do that.

  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Aug 16, 2007 10:59 AM GMT
    I have to agree with Greg here HT. some guys can be affectionate at the time but don't think this means a commitment.

    If you spend your life trying to read the signs, and work guys out you'll be wasting a hell of a lot of time for nothing.

    My advice, is try and live for the moment, don't let your imagination get carried away or read things into situations.

  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Aug 16, 2007 1:37 PM GMT
    Eventhough I am having a one nite stand/hook up I still treat this guy with affection and love . I do all those thing you say, caress, holding hand , romantic gesture ,affection to him. It just my nature. I am romantic at heart. Just like some casanova treating his lady conquest, that the way I treat my man.
    Guys for me is the finest god creation . They need to be handle with care and treated with the most respect. It not necessary meant love , well, in the way it is. I just in love with this so call male gender. Just cant live without them.
  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    Aug 16, 2007 6:46 PM GMT
    I met a guy a month ago and spent all weekend with him. We had a great time, going out to dinner, the movies (Harry Potter 3D IMAX) and had sex all weekend. We were very affectionate, but we didn't exactly click. We had fun, showed each other affection all weekend and made the best of everything. We had a lot in common, that's why we met in the first place, so we enjoyed our time together.

    I try not to have a problem with guys that don't make the best of a situation like I might, because everyone is different and I have to respect that. It sounds like to me he did. You guys had fun for the moment and he was honest right away when you asked him about it. I would have been.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2007 9:43 PM GMT
    First, thanks for the comments.

    CONTEXT: It was our first time meeting each other. We have constantly talked on line for a month or two.

    I guess i was just swept off my feet and misread everything and took too much out of "the moment."

    I just have to be more 'loose' and not to take things seriously the next time. But it will be hard for me, i can't be affectionate and not like a guy!

    And yeah, i thanked him for being honest up front.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Aug 17, 2007 2:04 AM GMT
    ...I have found a cultural component to this as well...I have several Brazilian friends who got "right up in my kool-aid" the first time I met them...were they attracted to me? [maybe]...but I realized their level of personal space is different than mine...

    ...affection ≠ attraction...

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 6:42 AM GMT
    I think dfrourke is right on this. And don't go there with Brazilians! They are all love and marriage... until the next handsome man comes along.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 8:19 AM GMT
    Really?... thanks for the info.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2007 2:06 AM GMT
    You spent 2 and half day with a guy and he dossent like you like that? Im sorry but hes and ass and no one derserves to date him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 2:06 AM GMT
    its like we have same problem.
    i have a guy who i meet here online once he invited mi to his house to spend ma weekends with him, sunday mornin he said dat i should add some days nd i agreed bcoz we re so acctracted to each other nd we have many things in commond, so after one day he just week of and tell mi dat hes travelling, can u image dat? he said dat we shall hookup next weekend, honestly i dont have enough money with mi at the time and am just expecting him to give mi something but he dint after all that i left and come back home,
    the poor thing dint call mi again no text nothing so i decided not to call him or text him too. next sunday night am just at home reading my skool books he call mi and want mi to come to his house and spent some days with him, so am too confuss should i go to him or not, my brother please help mi and advice mi.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 2:57 AM GMT

    I can only say that let him know what he wants, and let him say what he wants. And then make a decision from there. If he wants to hook-up every now and then just to have fun, sex or whatever... and if that's okay with you, go for it. If not and you're looking for something else, just don't see him again.

    Remember this, You should get what you deserve.

  • liftordie

    Posts: 823

    Aug 21, 2007 4:49 AM GMT
    LOL to redheadguy. i think we have met some of the same south americans!! LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 4:31 PM GMT
    dats right, but the problem is dat i cant really understand him wat he know is he said dat he love mi nd he shows mi dat he loves mi when am with him but after i left he dont shows any love no call no text so it really confuses mi.