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There have been a lot of people posting about how gay men hate their bodies these days. Thought I'd make a rebuttal/different stance.

http://humanchameleon.blogspot.com/2012/08/hating-our-bodies.html

Hey, stop reading my mind and posting it on blogs!

Unfortunately this is the millionth person who suggests self-love is the answer to everything when in fact it's just the beginning. It's a must, it's necessary for survival and well-being, but it's not sufficient to attain other things with further requirements, among which love and attraction.

But it would be a good thing if everyone took this advice. If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

paulflexes said

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

Still Paul, it's better to pick the good personalities among a group where hotness is guaranteed than having to compromise on other things because you can't guarantee physical attraction.

But overall I agree, though I think competition would be more even and there wouldn't be this concentrated power in the hands of few.

Do I sound socialist?

bachian said

paulflexes said

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

Still Paul, it's better to pick the good personalities among a group where hotness is guaranteed than having to compromise on other things because you can't guarantee physical attraction.

But overall I agree, though I think competition would be more even and there wouldn't be this concentrated power in the hands of few.

Do I sound socialist?

No, you just sound like any other gay man who would prefer to have a guy with good physical conditioning than a guy who's let himself go. There is nothing wrong with that.

In fact, I probably wouldn't have been gay (probably totally non-sexual) if all guys were overweight.

bachian said

paulflexes said

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

Still Paul, it's better to pick the good personalities among a group where hotness is guaranteed than having to compromise on other things because you can't guarantee physical attraction.

But overall I agree, though I think competition would be more even and there wouldn't be this concentrated power in the hands of few.

Do I sound socialist?

You sound EVER so slightly like more of a dullard than a socialist.

If you are basing yer relationships on something as ephemeral, personal and ultimatelty mass-media comercialized as "Hotness" - you should prepare yerself for a great deal of time spent alone flipping thru Men's Health and surfing the internetz looking for Men in their underwear (or less). And CONSTANTLY complaining about their lack of perfection and MANY flaws.

Who gets to decide Who and WHAT is "Hot" btw???? YOU? Should We all aspire to YOUR ideal or are we still allowed to see beauty through Our own eyes???

Just wondering...

(Nice pics btw - I think you went WAAAAY to heavy on the eyeliner tho...)

Cash said

bachian said

paulflexes said

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

Still Paul, it's better to pick the good personalities among a group where hotness is guaranteed than having to compromise on other things because you can't guarantee physical attraction.

But overall I agree, though I think competition would be more even and there wouldn't be this concentrated power in the hands of few.

Do I sound socialist?

You sound EVER so slightly like more of a dullard than a socialist.

If you are basing yer relationships on something as ephemeral, personal and ultimatelty mass-media comercialized as "Hotness" - you should prepare yerself for a great deal of time spent alone flipping thru Men's Health and surfing the internetz looking for Men in their undeerwear (or less). And CONSTANTLY complaining about their lack of perfection and MANY flaws.
...

I've been in that boat since I came out in '91.

The very fir man I ever popped a woody to was an Asian martial artist (Bruce Lee). It wasn't because I wanted to fuck him or suck his dick or even be his friend. It was because I wanted to touch his muscles when he flexed them.

To this day, I still have no desire to fuck or suck; however I do value friendships. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to find a man who's into flexing and touching, without also demanding fucking and/or sucking. Therefore I've adjusted to the fact that I'll have friends with [flexing] benefits and possibly never a husband, because every person I've ever tried to date eventually wanted to "do more" even though I have no intention of doing more.

That said, I think it's perfectly normal to require "hotness" in a boyfriend. And if he loses that hotness for whatever reason, he should be understanding enough to accept the fact that I'll get my nut elsewhere, even though I still love him as a husband.

I want to be the actual weight for my height, then add 15 lbs of muscle to that, but other than that, I love the curves of my body... next guy who gets with me better love them too!

Man this so sounds like me up till a few years ago. I've adjusted some since then but I was sooo confused....

paulflexes said

.
...

I've been in that boat since I came out in '91.

The very fir man I ever popped a woody to was an Asian martial artist (Bruce Lee). It wasn't because I wanted to fuck him or suck his dick or even be his friend. It was because I wanted to touch his muscles when he flexed them.

To this day, I still have no desire to fuck or suck; however I do value friendships. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to find a man who's into flexing and touching, without also demanding fucking and/or sucking. Therefore I've adjusted to the fact that I'll have friends with [flexing] benefits and possibly never a husband, because every person I've ever tried to date eventually wanted to "do more" even though I have no intention of doing more.

That said, I think it's perfectly normal to require "hotness" in a boyfriend. And if he loses that hotness for whatever reason, he should be understanding enough to accept the fact that I'll get my nut elsewhere, even though I still love him as a husband.

kencarson saidThere have been a lot of people posting about how gay men hate their bodies these days. Thought I'd make a rebuttal/different stance.

http://humanchameleon.blogspot.com/2012/08/hating-our-bodies.html

I don't hate my body. I wish I had a gay twin. I'd never leave the house.

Lol, fuck yes! Narcissism at its best, I knew I liked you!

I like the fact that Im tall. And I dont hate my body, it just needs some work and I show it no mercy. But hey, we cant all be fitness models hey. What would they be compared to? So I come in handy.

I'm particularly self-conscious. Even though I lost almost literally 100 lbs., and have definitely come a long way, I don't look anything like those chiseled muscular ab-licious bodies that define places like Weho. I'd have to do some serious toning on my body in its current state if I wanted to look anything like that. I'm legit afraid that my body is/will be a serious obstacle in finding romance or love if I don't do enough about it. Maybe I'm paranoid. But the fear is very real to me...

We should treat our body like a best friend :

linking him
find the flaws cute and not that important
Feeling happy when he is successful
Going out of our way to help when help is needed

Minox - I like it

paulflexes said

bachian said... If everyone took care of themselves there would be a greater supply of attractive guys and less cutthroat competition.

If everyone took care of themselves, that wouldn't solve a damn thing. Sure there'd be more eye candy, but I think it's been proven time and time again here on RJ (and on other fitness sites) that being hot doesn't mean being a good person.

There would still be competition among personalities; and there would still be competition among body types (thin/defined, muscular, bulky...aka ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph).

I'm competitive in everything. Everything. Even when there's no one to compete with I'm competing against myself. I think I'm noticing now that I only try to be a nice person, because when I do more people will like me opposed to the alternative when I usually want to be a douche.