When Will I learn To Keep My Big Mouth Shut?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2008 7:46 AM GMT
    Especially when I am feeling happy and on top of things my sense of humor is a good natured blend of honesty, cut through the crap, fun, sarcastic way of making jokes........a lot like the way my brothers and other guys interacted when I was growing up.

    But now, not everyone can take a joke.

    My question is this........How many of you find it awkward to be that way (natural) when everyone around you is so uptight?

    Not only gay circles....but in general.

    In answer to my own question.I usually make a quick getaway when my jokes fall flat on anal retentive ears. When I find a human being that is relaxed enough to pick up my sense of humor and have fun...it's a treasure.....one in a thousand.

    Do you find yourself holding back with your exhuberance because people may be put off? Or putting it another way.........who has a big mouth in general? Do people generally get you?
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    Aug 16, 2008 11:37 AM GMT
    Oh right, everybody else in the world is uptight while you are just dropping little witty bon mots as you flit thru life. Seek professional help.

    cat
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    Aug 16, 2008 11:56 AM GMT
    Well, if the jokes are mean-spirited and hurt people's feelings. . . that's not "exuberance." That's just mean. But is that the case, or did I interpret your comments incorrectly?

    That said, I can identify a little bit with what you said. Not so much in terms of making jokes or talking too much. But I can't begin to tell you how often I'll be hanging with people. . . socializing, a business meeting, or just out with a friend. . . and I'll be happy and in a good mood. . . and they're glum, sullen and morose. And not because something bad just happened to them, but because it's the way they are. It's their basic personality.

    It gets so old, being with people who are never happy, who never smile, who never say anything personal, and who remain so self-absorbed and disengaged that it's difficult to initiate any sort of conversation. So yeah, when I'm stuck with people like that, it isn't much fun.
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    Aug 16, 2008 3:23 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Caslon6000 said[/cite]Oh right, everybody else in the world is uptight while you are just dropping little witty bon mots as you flit thru life. Seek professional help.

    LOL!!! You bored again?

    You often make a habit of responding to my posts ( and maybe others) with nastiness.

    It doesn't bother me. I just think it makes you look small and bitter.

    I'm cutting you a lot of slack given what you write in your profile.... out of sympathy. But people going through tough times can try to be just as insulting and demeaning as anybody else.

    Good Luck
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    Aug 16, 2008 3:28 PM GMT
    KissingPro said[quote][cite]Caslon6000 said[/cite]Oh right, everybody else in the world is uptight while you are just dropping little witty bon mots as you flit thru life. Seek professional help.

    LOL!!! You bored again?

    Only when you post. You really do seem to suffer from a detached personality....detached from reality.
  • HndsmKansan

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    Aug 16, 2008 3:37 PM GMT
    Well I can see we are the midst of another one of those "disagreements"....LOL

    We all have our unique sense of personalty. I do. If displayed during a sense of euphoria, there are those who would probably think I'm a little strange. While I wouldn't classify anyone necessarily as "uptight",
    I guess you have to remember that ones unique "quirks" can leave some wondering....LOL
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    Aug 16, 2008 3:52 PM GMT
    I also used to wonder why certain people would be insulted at comments that were obviously meant as jokes. Then I met someone who started making inappropriate comments even though I didn't know him very well. I can appreciate offensive humor, but after meeting that guy I found the answer to my question. There's a lot of strange people out there and if you don't know the person, it's hard to know if he is joking around or if he's not.

    What I'm saying is that it may be that these people arent' uptight, but that they just don't how to interpret your comments.
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:06 PM GMT
    KissingProI usually make a quick getaway when my jokes fall flat on anal retentive ears.


    icon_neutral.gif

    First of all, get rid of this attitude. Just because somebody doesn't laugh at your joke does not mean they are anal retentive.

    If someone takes a joke the bad way, APOLOGIZE AND DROP IT, don't go on offensive. You'll easily become the most hated guy in a group if you expect people to always 'get' you all the time.

    Tact and sensitivity is as much a part of good humor as being funny.
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:21 PM GMT
    Without his attitude, what would be left? ...all I have ever seen is stupid attitude...a lot of hyper-masculine nonsense and dissing everybody else. ...the big mouth just amplifies the reverberating emptiness within. ...from his OP, people are showing, or he has finally perceived, the reaction to his obnoxious personality. Maybe he will finally seek professional help.
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:26 PM GMT
    I think your answer is in your question. You learned this communication style when you grew up with your brothers. That form of humor and communication really should have been left behind on the playground. Adults for the most part don't appreciate "cut the crap sarcasm" too much. I actively avoid people like that. If "everyone" is too uptight, then YOU are the problem, not everybody. Your next question might be: "If I wanted to learn how to interact in a way that attracted interesting people into my life, how would *I* change my behavior?"

    I also suggest reading Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It's a time-tested classic. It might be time to examine your communication style and learn how to better relate to people.

    Good luck, and great question.

    And Caslon, drop the f**king lolcats for a while PLEASE. We've all seen thousands of these things and I know that a number of us are pretty damned sick of them. They're not adding to the content of these discussions. I know I say this in vain since others have repeatedly said the same thing, but it's the same as KissingPro's issue. You continue to exhibit a communication pattern that pisses people off, and then decide that your need to post lolcats is more important than fostering dialogue. Your call. Seems like a reversed priority in a forum. Just my two cents.
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:48 PM GMT
    Yeah, agree with Outdoor Athlete re: the cats.

    They're funny, for sure, and I'm not suggesting banning them. But we don't really need them on half the threads, and it gets old when a topic is suddenly hijacked with 12 billion cat posts. Especially when we're discussing something meaningful. It's like trying to have a serious conversation with someone and a third party shows up and interrupts with a barrage of stupid jokes.

    What's worse is when someone asks to please, please just lighten up a teeny-weeny bit, we're instantly (and passively-aggressively) inundated with a zillion more. Somehow I'm certain that's the fate of this thread.
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:52 PM GMT
    outdoorathlete saidIAnd Caslon, drop the f**king lolcats for a while PLEASE. We've all seen thousands of these things and I know that a number of us are pretty damned sick of them. They're not adding to the content of these discussions. I know I say this in vain since others have repeatedly said the same thing, but it's the same as KissingPro's issue. You continue to exhibit a communication pattern that pisses people off, and then decide that your need to post lolcats is more important than fostering dialogue. Your call. Seems like a reversed priority in a forum. Just my two cents.

    dog ... technically speaking, it's not an LOLcat pic, is it?
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    Aug 16, 2008 4:55 PM GMT

    It's ok to have a good sense of humor, be fun loving...honest, but if only 1 out of 1000 get you, it sounds like you're the one with a problem.

    It's time to stop and think about this rationally, the things you say offend a lot of people? The world is a diverse place, everyone can't be dull and anal retentive - thus you must just say inconsiderate and untactful things.

    Interesting word: tact. I like it because it has everything to do with how you treat others. It has nothing to do with how you and your brothers interacted growing up and sometimes acted like assholes, or how you're honest and cut through the crap and people think you're an asshole, or how you assume you're right and everyone else is wrong making you an asshole: no, it just prescribes that you treat people with a reasonable level of respect and common sense.

    Tact. 1. an acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.

    2. a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

    3. a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.


    Now, the definitions I've posted from Dictionary.com. I like them. See how the word naturally is never used? By the wording it is clear that tact: (sensitivity, propriety, consideration, and elegance) are all part of a learned skill.

    You too are displaying a learned lack of tact. As you admitted yourself, you learned this rude joking from your brothers or from interaction with your brothers.

    Time to change. A good grasp on tact says a lot about you. Says you are a good judge of your surroundings and the people you are reacting with.

    Says you are considerate of others to not just blert out whatever will please you because I think a lot of this joking is self gratification. You want to hear yourself be clever.

    .................................................................riddlercartoon.jpg

    A good rule of thumb with tact is to think unselfishly. Instead of thinking: do I want to say this? Think instead: do they want to hear this? Is this appropriate: suited to the situation and to the person? This works for honesty too! Just because something is true, doesn't mean you need to say it just then.

    1 now 2!

    Building up your tact is just like mastering fitness: you have to practice to get good at it. I recommend wathing people more. Watch to get a better sense of who the people you interact with often are so you can better judge what you say in relation to them. Also, watch people who get along with most people. These people will demonstrate wonderful skills of tact.

    Ask questions. You offend someone, don't run off like you say you do. Assuming you don't know, ask them what you said to offend them, and use that data to better understand exactly what things you are saying that are offensive to people.

    LOL, some people are easier than others, but some people will cut you bitch icon_razz.gif if you say the wrong thing so go and be tactful for now on.

    ...............................................................65b8.jpg

    ..............................................................."Scuse me? WTF did you just say to me?"
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    Aug 16, 2008 5:04 PM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidYeah, agree with Outdoor Athlete re: the cats.

    They're funny, for sure, and I'm not suggesting banning them. But we don't really need them on half the threads, and it gets old when a topic is suddenly hijacked with 12 billion cat posts. Especially when we're discussing something meaningful. It's like trying to have a serious conversation with someone and a third party shows up and interrupts with a barrage of stupid jokes.

    What's worse is when someone asks to please, please just lighten up a teeny-weeny bit, we're instantly (and passively-aggressively) inundated with a zillion more. Somehow I'm certain that's the fate of this thread.

    OK, NOW URE STARTIN TO BORE ME ... you know what happens when LOLcat gets bored ... back off, biatches! ... nothing was happening but you guys wanna get somethin' started ... billions and zillions, indeed!

    ...and BTW, LOLcats get lots of fan mail saying how much they are enjoyed. LOLcats appreciate that.
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    Aug 16, 2008 5:25 PM GMT
    ...............................WHAT HAPPENS!?

    If the forums are going to be more enjoyable place things have to change, people won't post in a slaughter house.

    1. Never underestimate your opponent, expect the
    un-expected!

    2. Take it to the Instant messenger, never start anything on the thread.

    3. Be Nice, someone calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice....until it's time to not be nice.

    .....................................

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    Aug 16, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    Anyway.....my point was that often people have little sense of humor, need to chill and not take things so seriously, especially when it is clear that the intention is not to hurt anyones feelings.

    I'm not sure why I got all the personal insults and stern preachings about it.........kinda proves my point thogh.

    All I can do is smile and shake my head at all this hostility and judgement from people I don't even know. Some of you guys seem to be absolutely certain about my complete lack of social skills, my empty life and sinister intentions.

    As for the cat guy......who cares what he posts?.....that's what the scroll btton is for. I know plenty of people who are going through serious health problems and bravely struggling with illness.....but they don't feel they have a free pass to try to insult others.





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    Aug 16, 2008 5:57 PM GMT
    Dont hide behind my illness...seek professional help...for your own good.
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    Aug 16, 2008 7:58 PM GMT
    Caslon6000 saidDont hide behind my illness...seek professional help...for your own good.


    You have consistently thrown deeply nasty words at me and I have pretty much ignored you.

    I've also seen you be combative and mean spirited towards others.

    Usually, if someone acts like you, he is pounced on right away by other RJ members.

    I bring up your illness because I think people are less willing to call you up on your behavior because they have sympathy for your situation......as if it is mean and UN PC to confront you about your nonsense. But let's just call a spade a spade.

    I'm not hiding behind your illness.....YOU are. I think you are using it for special treatment and sympathy so you can belittle others and call names. If that plus the fact that you have a few thousand posts under your belt makes you feel important, so be it. But this time, you threw your shit at the wrong guy for the last time.

    There are plenty of people here in NYC who are suffering terrible health conditions. But if they acted like you, they would be smacked silly into the street...chemotherapy and all.

    There is no need for me to ever say anything more about you. Now that I got this off my chest you are nothing to me..you are forgotten, uninvited and invisible. You started it, and now I am finishing it.

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    Aug 16, 2008 8:13 PM GMT
    My two cent (In Europe, the plural of "cent" is "cent." It's a Europe thing)

    If you say what you're thinking, and people take it in a way that you didn't intend, you should apologise and move on. If it happens a lot, you probably aren't in synch with that person. That doesn't make them or you a bad person, but you're probably never going to become best friends.

    I'd put a Lolcat here to communicate more effectively, but I'm desperately afraid of succumbing to rabid wankerism. Fight it, Colm, fight it...
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    Aug 16, 2008 8:28 PM GMT
    Seems like the shut-in is becoming evermore crotchety and disassociated from reality and would do well to seek professional help himself. And the bleedin' LOLcats are effin' tedious. Perhaps Art Therapy is in order, if only to cultivate some style and wit.

    Mes deux sous (don't buy much love). :-)

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    Aug 16, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    .
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    Aug 16, 2008 8:45 PM GMT


    Hi Kissingpro,

    Methinks you have been misunderstood.

    Could you give an example of a situation and joke to illuminate specifics?

    And really, to some of you guys, what has kissingpro done to create such instant animosity? There must be some ancient history here because as I've read topics, I've seen kissingpro's comments and I don't see what the fuss is about.

    As for lolanimals, sometimes funny but I think they're vastly overused and use of them should be considered 1/10th of a post when that's all there is. I also think they're occassionally used in an avoidant, passive aggressive manner when the subject becomes sensitive, which is really too bad. I bared something once here; I was at the very end of my rope, and after two or so 'gee that sucks' the flood of lolcats etc and childish jokes came.

    oh well.

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    Aug 16, 2008 9:34 PM GMT
    Caslon6000 saidOh right, everybody else in the world is uptight while you are just dropping little witty bon mots as you flit thru life. Seek professional help.

    cat


    Credited.
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    Aug 16, 2008 9:35 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    Caslon6000 saidDont hide behind my illness...seek professional help...for your own good.


    You have consistently thrown deeply nasty words at me and I have pretty much ignored you.

    I've also seen you be combative and mean spirited towards others.

    Usually, if someone acts like you, he is pounced on right away by other RJ members.

    I bring up your illness because I think people are less willing to call you up on your behavior because they have sympathy for your situation......as if it is mean and UN PC to confront you about your nonsense. But let's just call a spade a spade.

    I'm not hiding behind your illness.....YOU are. I think you are using it for special treatment and sympathy so you can belittle others and call names. If that plus the fact that you have a few thousand posts under your belt makes you feel important, so be it. But this time, you threw your shit at the wrong guy for the last time.

    There are plenty of people here in NYC who are suffering terrible health conditions. But if they acted like you, they would be smacked silly into the street...chemotherapy and all.

    There is no need for me to ever say anything more about you. Now that I got this off my chest you are nothing to me..you are forgotten, uninvited and invisible. You started it, and now I am finishing it.


    oh, what the hell...

    funny pictures

    ...and I remember when you got called on the veracity of your pics...and...oops...there went the pics!

    But honestly, I can't control how other people behave toward me. I know I dont bring my illness up as a "defense." I have been very open about my illness and its effects...or more accurately, the therapies' effects...including living without testosterone and then with it. ...a thing some men might have a problem disclosing that. (Stay tuned: next will be my personal consumer test of viagra, cialis, ...not what the commercials show I am told... and maybe tri-mix, but that is administered with a needle to the dick!!! ... icon_eek.gif )

    You brought up the subject of your behavior and people's reaction to it, not I. I have read your postings so many times, and you come across as such an over the top machismo putz. I am embarrassed for you. You sound like such a jackass. Apparently, from this thread, you have noticed it now with others' behavior toward you. I most sincerely think you need professional help. That is not an idle comment flung at you. Your response on this thread is typical of you tho. You get all up about yourself and attack the other person. It doesnt bother me that you say things about me, but I sure wish you would consider professional mental counseling. I think you have real issues in your self-image and relating to others, the resolution of which would enhance your enjoyment in life. Ignore me all you want; it's not my life.

    But if you post a thread and say:

    "When I find a human being that is relaxed enough to pick up my sense of humor..."

    That implies that everybody else is just too uptight and it is their fault that they dont get your sense of humor. It's all the rest of the world, not you. If you are going to make that kind of statement (and you do that repeatedly), then grow a sack and expect that you might get an objection from someone else in the world ...and it might not be complimentary about you and your ego-centric view of yourself. Otherwise, keep it off the threads. ...Seek help.
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    Aug 16, 2008 9:53 PM GMT
    Maybe you're just being a dick? icon_smile.gif