Guy at work slept with my boyfriend

  • bassman09

    Posts: 4

    Aug 23, 2012 11:05 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the advice guys. I will act on them icon_smile.gif
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Aug 23, 2012 11:14 AM GMT
    is it true you guys say shag, for sex?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 23, 2012 11:39 AM GMT
    let me rephrase your question:

    Dear Abby,

    I'm on fire. Is that bad? What should I do?
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:40 AM GMT
    Might just have to sit down and explain to the BF how you feel. You're always gonna have this distrust for him especially if you know he was sleeping around b4 you guys met.

    And your co-worker is a slut. He obviously told you that bc he wants to fuck him again. And he's also being an asscunt by not respecting the fact that your dating him now. Like, if he told outta concern for you, that'd be different. Be he told you without caring. Therefore, he's an asscunt IMO.

    But tell your BF how you feel. You will never be able to trust him if the two of you don't talk about this. And if he wanted off the site, he just wouldn't go onto it IMO. He can also delete those acct's. by sending an e-mail to the site adressing that you want the acct. deactivated. Just talk about it bc it obviously is shaking your faith in him as a BF.
  • bassman09

    Posts: 4

    Aug 23, 2012 11:47 AM GMT
    Thanks Remy I think talking about it will be best solution but he always makes out I'm in the wrong for not trusting him.
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:48 AM GMT
    And people wonder why I prefer polygamy and open relationships.

    There is no such thing as truth in the vast majority of "monogamous" relationships.

    Always remember: DTA (don't trust anyone).
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    RemyLoV saidMight just have to sit down and explain to the BF how you feel. You're always gonna have this distrust for him especially if you know he was sleeping around b4 you guys met.

    And your co-worker is a slut. He obviously told you that bc he wants to fuck him again. And he's also being an asscunt by not respecting the fact that your dating him now. Like, if he told outta concern for you, that'd be different. Be he told you without caring. Therefore, he's an asscunt IMO.

    But tell your BF how you feel. You will never be able to trust him if the two of you don't talk about this. And if he wanted off the site, he just wouldn't go onto it IMO. He can also delete those acct's. by sending an e-mail to the site adressing that you want the acct. deactivated. Just talk about it bc it obviously is shaking your faith in him as a BF.



    This and both of you go get tested!!!! The ONLY way to be sure
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    calm_the_fuck_down_by_mooh438.jpg

    first thang first,make an appointment with a doctor asap,together with ur bf get a medical checkup,then,this is it,he is a big gay slut before u met him or prior dating time,u need to think tat is he worth for ur love,does he ever deserve to be with u after this,but for me,dump him fast.

    lol,doesnt know how to delete a gay hookup profile,is he 9 y/o?

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHvleaNZltaZ0xfaYfkZg
  • bassman09

    Posts: 4

    Aug 23, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    I agree Paul but you do get some genuine guys, like myself. I want to be happy and with the same person not sleep around...
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    bassman09 saidI have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now; he told me that he was clean so we recently started having unprotected sex.

    I started my new job 2 weeks ago and someone I work with is gay, I told my boyfriend his name and he has been acting weird since. I went out drinking with my work lot and my gay drunken work colleague told me that my boyfriend used to have 3somes with him and his husband until 8 months ago (4 months into our relationship!) now I don't know what to do and I can't face going into work and seeing his face again.

    I also found out that my boyfriend used to sleep around before he met me so how can I be sure that he is clean if he hasn't been tested? I recently discovered him on a sex/dating website but he told me that he didn't know how to delete it that's why he still uses it..?

    The whole thing is making me feel sick yet I love him so I don't know what to do? Help?


    Um...why weren't you both tested before you agreed to have unprotected sex? Trust is pretty important in a relationship, but people are sometimes infected with HIV or STDs without knowing it. Seems pretty naive for you to take him at his word only a year in. The kind of trust you're giving him is one that takes a few years to build--not a few months. Even then, regular testing would still be necessary.
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    You should be protecting yourself in every situation because everyone has a past and you wouldn't want that to affect your future.
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    bassman09 saidI agree Paul but you do get some genuine guys, like myself. I want to be happy and with the same person not sleep around...
    Being in a polygamous and/or open relationship doesn't mean sleeping around. It means being honest with each other from the start, and keeping it that way.

    In short, it means having no jealousy, because jealousy is what causes people to lie.
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:55 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidAnd people wonder why I prefer polygamy and open relationships.

    There is no such thing as truth in the vast majority of "monogamous" relationships.

    Always remember: DTA (don't trust anyone).


    I'm a cynical guy, but this comes off as paranoia.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Aug 23, 2012 11:56 AM GMT
    I had a situation where I thought I should not trust someone .... I was right he ended up with HIV a short time later. I was lucky to have learned my lesson to trust my gut.

    Should you be having unprotected sex with someone that is trolling sex websites and sleeping around? Remember it will be your fault not his if you get and STD during this relationship with a man who is liar and a cheater. We all take responsibility for who we choose to have unprotected sex .... or we should if we are being responsible.

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    Aug 23, 2012 11:56 AM GMT
    k1ng said is it true you guys say shag, for sex?

    austin-powers-martini.jpg
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    redsoxfan791 said

    Um...why weren't you both tested before you agreed to have unprotected sex? Trust is pretty important in a relationship, but people are sometimes infected with HIV or STDs without knowing it. Seems pretty naive for you to take him at his word only a year in. The kind of trust you're giving him is one that takes a few years to build--not a few months. Even then, regular testing would still be necessary.

    This entire thing.
    +1000
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    Aug 23, 2012 11:58 AM GMT
    calibro saidlet me rephrase your question:

    Dear Abby,

    I'm on fire. Is that bad? What should I do?


    lol..
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    Aug 23, 2012 12:03 PM GMT
    redsoxfan791 said
    paulflexes saidAnd people wonder why I prefer polygamy and open relationships.

    There is no such thing as truth in the vast majority of "monogamous" relationships.

    Always remember: DTA (don't trust anyone).


    I'm a cynical guy, but this comes off as paranoia.
    Considering what's at stake if you do trust the wrong person, I call it safety. icon_wink.gif
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Aug 23, 2012 12:26 PM GMT
    86 the freak
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    Aug 23, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    Get yourself tested ASAP, and then dump the guy.

    He says it's a matter of trust on your end? BS!!!!!!!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 23, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    I think you should have a serious conversation with him. No doubt, the shit will hit the fan, but your relationship is on the line (everything is on the line).
    I'd insist he be tested before you continue having unprotected sex.

    If you don't take those steps, you will be a basketcase. You need to think carefully what you want to achieve before you start however.... stress your biggest concerns.. health and trust.

    Regarding your work situation, it will probably get better, but if you just can't deal with seeing this dude, can you transfer to another area or even get a different job? My suggestion is to give it some time and see if things improve.... but think about what you might want to do if it doesn't.

    Sorry, hope it improves!
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    Aug 23, 2012 12:43 PM GMT
    Sounds like you need to get better at fucking...
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    Aug 23, 2012 1:24 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI think you should have a serious conversation with him. No doubt, the shit will hit the fan, but your relationship is on the line (everything is on the line).
    I'd insist he be tested before you continue having unprotected sex.

    If you don't take those steps, you will be a basketcase. You need to think carefully what you want to achieve before you start however.... stress your biggest concerns.. health and trust.

    Regarding your work situation, it will probably get better, but if you just can't deal with seeing this dude, can you transfer to another area or even get a different job? My suggestion is to give it some time and see if things improve.... but think about what you might want to do if it doesn't.

    Sorry, hope it improves!


    This.
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    Aug 23, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    As an aside, please don't use the word "clean" (or the expression "disease-free") to describe someone without an STI and/or HIV. While I'm sure it isn't your intent, anyone who actually does have one (or more) of these -- temporarily or long-term, depending what they have -- probably feels a little demoralized as it is, and inferring they are "dirty" could make them feel worse.
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    Aug 23, 2012 1:29 PM GMT
    get tested and then dump the guy, plenty of worthy blokes out there