i dnt feel hot enough for my boyfriend

  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Aug 24, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    theres times (most of the time) i dnt feel attractive at all and i think my boyfriend can do sooooooo much better. I mean i think he really likes me, and would nvr cheat, but sometimes i think it isn't fair to keep him when im nasty and he doesnt want to bring me around his friends or family. we go out and ik he's looking at all the hot guys whether it would be a restaurant or the movies or his college. what to do abou my gigantic insecurity about being ugly??
  • Kipstrdl

    Posts: 162

    Aug 24, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    date down
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    Aug 24, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    Trollbait for a Homewrecker?
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    Aug 24, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    I looked at your profile..you know you're not ugly..
    You have 10 visible pics and over 170 comments screaming.."YOU ARE SEXY"..(you might be insecure and overcompensating)

    ..If your boyfriend doesn't think your'e hot or is ashamed of you..He could'nt be in his right mind!..He is the one that's making you feel insecure!

    ..If you are with a man that makes you feel ashamed.. He has some work to do !..Sit him down ..Talk to him real firm..Try to work it out....And If not..
    Moar Meat For Us ! icon_twisted.gif
    Boner Hugz???..
    Seriously..Let him have it!

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    Aug 24, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    You are dating a guy. If he did not find you attractive he would have moved on or not have bothered in the first place.
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    Aug 24, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    I wonder what you feel like when you don't have a boyfriend :N
    #calmdown #breath #eatacookie
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    Aug 24, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    cmon man, dont compare yourself to other guys. the minute you stop doing that is the minute you become content with yourself.

  • ivanuri97

    Posts: 87

    Aug 24, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    IF he doesn't think you're hot, then he needs to go. You are a very handsome guy and don't get me started on those legs and that fine ass you have! Plus you seem to have a nice personality. He'd be stupid to let you go!
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    Aug 24, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    Idk
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Aug 24, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    Looked at your profile... You are cute don't worry.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Aug 24, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    Insecurities aren't something that are gonna up and vanish in a night lets be real. People can tell you, your amazing but if you don't feel that way then your not going to be taking their words seriously point blank. You need to step back for a moment and boost your own confidence if your actually feeling this insecure. But hey I take it your boyfriend isn't with you for your looks alone men will be men they have wandering eye syndrome so relax....
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    Aug 24, 2012 2:27 AM GMT
    As a note from a man who's been on the other end of this, please be careful how much you say this to your boyfriend. Nagging at him that you aren't attractive will only make him start thinking that maybe you aren't. No one can love someone who doesn't love themselves.

    Try to take a proactive view with this, and depending on how long you've been with your boyfriend, you can include him in this. Open up, tell him that you often don't feel very attractive, and you want to change that. Look for some decent books out there on self-esteem, or even better, see a therapist, even if it's just for a single session. They can often point you towards more help (ie good books and media) if you can't afford consistent week-to-week sessions.

    If there's something that it would help to hear from your boyfriend let him know that stuff, but ultimately this is your issue, he can only support you, he can't fix you.

    The truth is, if he's anything like I was in my past relationship, he see's all the wonderful things you are and will be, and is only too happy to be the man beside you. He just wants to be around the bright, confident man he knows you are.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 24, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    rogerfederer saidtheres times (most of the time) i dnt feel attractive at all and i think my boyfriend can do sooooooo much better. I mean i think he really likes me, and would nvr cheat, but sometimes i think it isn't fair to keep him when im nasty and he doesnt want to bring me around his friends or family. we go out and ik he's looking at all the hot guys whether it would be a restaurant or the movies or his college. what to do abou my gigantic insecurity about being ugly??
    seriously, if i were you i would seek therapy. obviously, your bf likes you if he is still with you. oh everyone looks at a hot guy even if they are in a relationship. your bf did not go blind once he start dating you. jeeze, i wish people would get over that notion
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    Aug 24, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSorry, but I'm not buying it.

    The level of extreme confidence in your photos suggests something totally different....

    Allow me to present exhibit A, B, C and D......

    Does someone who truly think he's not attractive go around posting signs under his face with the word "SEXY" written in bold letters for the entire internet world to see?
    00523c4758165a8998c5a47bb449cc56.jpg I didn't think so either.

    50fd9e50a8a695f6ee88c0494fbc51b1.jpg

    1132d18a33bf5662d990ad52544a2e23.jpg

    b10bd5bb1776f2199fb592af1ff9ff62.jpg

    I think you're a fishing for compliments. But you're young so we'll let it slide this time.

    Agreed. A person that's not happy with the way he looks wouldn't be posting pictures like that. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with your pictures, but you clearly don't think that you're ugly.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Aug 24, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    The dude's playing you guys. He's one of the hottest guys on RJ and he knows it.
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    Aug 24, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    joe122 said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSorry, but I'm not buying it.

    The level of extreme confidence in your photos suggests something totally different....

    Allow me to present exhibit A, B, C and D......

    Does someone who truly think he's not attractive go around posting signs under his face with the word "SEXY" written in bold letters for the entire internet world to see?
    00523c4758165a8998c5a47bb449cc56.jpg I didn't think so either.

    I think you're a fishing for compliments. But you're young so we'll let it slide this time.

    Agreed. A person that's not happy with the way he looks wouldn't be posting pictures like that. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with your pictures, but you clearly don't think that you're ugly.


    Quite the opposite actually. If someone feels they aren't that attractive, one way of dealing with that is to vie for the attention of others. Its the need to have others validate them. It's often a sign that they aren't getting the attention and validation from important people in their life (family, bf, etc). This stuff can be rather deep seeded and it's not something that a comment on a profile can change.
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    Aug 24, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    Being confident automatically makes you more attractive or "more deserving" towards your boyfriend. He likes you and you like him.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Aug 24, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSorry, but I'm not buying it.

    The level of extreme confidence in your photos suggests something totally different....

    Allow me to present exhibit A, B, C and D......

    Does someone who truly think he's not attractive go around posting signs under his face with the word "SEXY" written in bold letters for the entire internet world to see?

    I think you're a fishing for compliments. But you're young so we'll let it slide this time.


    I agree especially because his profile says single
  • Kipstrdl

    Posts: 162

    Aug 24, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    That is so not cool posting that last pic of his. I can see what he ate for lunch. Fucking sexy though.

    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSorry, but I'm not buying it.

    The level of extreme confidence in your photos suggests something totally different....

    Allow me to present exhibit A, B, C and D......

    Does someone who truly think he's not attractive go around posting signs under his face with the word "SEXY" written in bold letters for the entire internet world to see?
    00523c4758165a8998c5a47bb449cc56.jpg I didn't think so either.

    50fd9e50a8a695f6ee88c0494fbc51b1.jpg

    1132d18a33bf5662d990ad52544a2e23.jpg

    b10bd5bb1776f2199fb592af1ff9ff62.jpg

    I think you're a fishing for compliments. But you're young so we'll let it slide this time.
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    Aug 24, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidThe dude's playing you guys. He's one of the hottest guys on RJ and he knows it.


    Exactly some of you really need to start thinking witht he big head not the little one icon_rolleyes.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39082

    Aug 24, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    You need to work on your self esteem issues. No thread is going to solve that. And that is something that you will probably need to continue to work on. I'm not psychologist...you might want to consider seeing one....but I think you need to find where the source of where this low self esteem is coming from. You are obviously a very attractive guy...even if you don't see it yourself. Could this be coming from some kind of shame that you were brought up to have?

    Maybe start by reading some books on the subject

    http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Shame-Transforming-Lesbian/dp/0385477961/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345777347&sr=8-1&keywords=coming+out+of+shame

    I recommend that you not just ignore these feelings. You need to work on them or it could harm your relationship with your bf, others, and with yourself.
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    Aug 24, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    I agree about everyone needing validation, but from my point of view having to put up a sign that says "SEXY" under your face is a clear sign that you desperately want people to put those two things together. Someone who actually thinks they are attractive and sexy just assumes that the right guys will already be thinking that.

    metta8: I really found "The Velvet Rage" to be helpful as well.
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    Aug 24, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    Well I hate to disagree guys but those pics show his insecurities...

    Let me put it this way… every photo is sexually overcompensative!
    Those photos scream…”please tell me I’m sexy because the man I love won’t”..

    Honestly guys..His Adult photos belong on his Adult page..
    I think they should be removed from the thread!
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    Aug 24, 2012 3:07 AM GMT
    Matt_TO said
    joe122 said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSorry, but I'm not buying it.

    The level of extreme confidence in your photos suggests something totally different....

    Allow me to present exhibit A, B, C and D......

    Does someone who truly think he's not attractive go around posting signs under his face with the word "SEXY" written in bold letters for the entire internet world to see?
    00523c4758165a8998c5a47bb449cc56.jpg I didn't think so either.

    I think you're a fishing for compliments. But you're young so we'll let it slide this time.

    Agreed. A person that's not happy with the way he looks wouldn't be posting pictures like that. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with your pictures, but you clearly don't think that you're ugly.


    Quite the opposite actually. If someone feels they aren't that attractive, one way of dealing with that is to vie for the attention of others. Its the need to have others validate them. It's often a sign that they aren't getting the attention and validation from important people in their life (family, bf, etc). This stuff can be rather deep seeded and it's not something that a comment on a profile can change.

    That can be true also, but those people usually don't go around saying that they're unattractive. I actually know a person like that and he always brags about how good his physique is and how hot he is, when in reality he probably has a poor self image. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652/
    The op seems more histrionic than narcissistic imo.
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    Aug 24, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    Right, but we all have moments of weakness. Those 3am moments where things we never usually say we suddenly blurt out. Perhaps he's just being real and honest because he has no one else he can really talk to about it. That's why I think it's just best that we support the guy. We all need to break down and be honest. Most people have a few sides or facets to their personality, and perhaps tonight he's just showing us his.