FTTL11 saidWell I certainly think it healthy for mil guys to network together
Well I think it can be another bond between gay men, or any men, though that varies by the individuals. For some, military service is significant, while others don't bring it into their personal lives, or into their relationships. And there are always practical advantages to networking, whatever the shared link.
My 25 years continues to have a great impact on my own life, but not to the extent that I make military service a social factor. I tried a few military chat rooms in my AOL days (if any were also gay I didn't find them), but didn't like the topics & chat, and felt an outsider since I was already retired, many of the roomies still on active duty.
My partner served a few years in uniform, but not how I met him nor why we're together, at least not consciously. At most the military may have shaped our thinking & attitudes, making us more compatible.
For instance, we're both very diligent, reliable, trustworthy, hard working, never shirk a job, absolutely detest being late for anything, and detest those others who are. All traits you need in the Army that you may not acquire in civilian life, even in something like the Boy Scouts which is not a 24/7 proposition, nor presents you with life-or-death reasons for self-discipline.
I can also confirm paulflexes' words, since I didn't meet him because he's ex-military, either. I merely met him online here by chance, later in person, and only then found out his background. And we really don't talk that much together about our former experiences.
But again, the fact we get along together may partly be the result of our common military experience shaping our personalities (even if he was in the soggy Navy, while I had my more reasonable feet on terra firma
). Or it could just be because he's an easy guy to befriend and whose company is a pleasure, whether you yourself were/are military or not.