being alone FOREVER!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 27, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    have you ever felt like you just wont find the "right" person for you? Ive been pondering that question lately and Im just not sure. I cant help but feel secluded in my surroundings with no way to escape but I tend to bring that upon myself.

    have you ever felt similarly? what did you do to change it? did you end up finding him? or did you just accept the fact that being alone is probably better than being with someone else?

    am I just being overly-dramatic? I can do that sometimes icon_smile.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 27, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    You won't find the right person for you if that is what you are looking for. No one could EVER live up to it.
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    Aug 27, 2012 5:02 AM GMT
    Move, not necassarily relocate, but just get out of your current surroundings for a little bit. Go out and enjoy life and the people around you. icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 27, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidYou won't find the right person for you if that is what you are looking for. No one could EVER live up to it.


    Oh he will be good enough but does he exist?
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    Aug 27, 2012 6:15 AM GMT
    I just kept dating and then I found the right guy. I didn't act desperate about it though; I just accepted that most guys aren't right for me and that I'd have to do a bit of searching before I found the right one.
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    Aug 27, 2012 7:01 AM GMT
    It's cool. Imma just chill wit my cats.

    ffnzQ.jpg
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    Aug 27, 2012 7:28 AM GMT
    For reasons that I won't get into, there's a very real possibility that I will never find "the one," whoever that ends up being. Sometimes, there are obstacles in our path that we cannot overcome. Sorry if that's depressing, but it's true.

    Even though no match is perfect, there have been times in my life when I've thought I've found someone who would be a good fit for me. Invetibly, the feelings are one sided. I never seem to fall for someone who wants to be with me too.

    I guess that's why I've cut myself off so much. It's sucks getting hurt, and it sucks always wanting what I can't have.

    But I try to remain hopeful and keep myself open to the possibilities. Otherwise, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you keep thinking you'll be alone and don't even try, then you will be.

    I'm horrible at knowing when someone is interested in me, and I'm not very good at expressing myself when I'm interested in someone else. But I'm working on it. Someday, I hope it pays off because I really do think I'd make some guy out there a great husband. He just may have to speak up first. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 27, 2012 8:10 AM GMT
    Being single and being alone are two completely different things.

    I <3 being single, and dating guys on the side. It's much easier that way. Living with people means giving up personal freedoms. icon_wink.gif
  • Kyle1989

    Posts: 12

    Aug 27, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    Hey. I relate to how you feel completely. However, if you move outside your comfort zone a little or get out there I am sure you will find someone.

    I live in Perth, Australia and being gay and coming from a different ethnic background (however I was raised in Australia) kind of makes me feel like I'm on the outside of things in the gay world. Also I am very shy & not very confident in my appearance at times.

    I've met guys who I know were very interested in me (you can tell through body language & eye contact) but because im shy and more conservative I dont make moves or start conversations even though I have good social skills, a nice personality & an ok body. Im like a shy teenage girl around guys i like. Sometimes I need to be a bit more confident.

    Also I suspect that because my look is ethnic I'm probably not very attractive to a lot of guys over here and that is fair enough. No one speaks to me on Manhunt or gaydar. When i go to the clubs however, I think I do get eye contact & attention but i might be misstaken.

    However Im going to be graduating from uni soon and starting full time work. With work comes money and the ability to travel, move cities and experience a different life and culture, so I try and tell myself that eventually I will meet someone.

    Oh and some of the guys I have met thus far have not been well suited to me. I might be looking for love but im not too desperate.
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    Aug 27, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    Always finding guys who meet my qualifications before I seem to meet theres... I'm single-it's complicated... but the guy who I meet on even keel; whomsoever that should be... well, he best like cuddles, hugs and meeting half ways on most things. Only/longest standing requirement that actually works out is that the guy is my complimentary-match/equal but opposite.
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    Aug 27, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    sanjose470 saidam I just being overly-dramatic? I can do that sometimes icon_smile.gif


    Since no one else has said it, yes, you are being a bit over-dramatic.icon_wink.gif

    There is no completely "right" guy. You meet guys until you find one who mostly works for you and you mostly work for him. Neither of you will be perfect for the other but you will both figure out whether the issues are deal-breakers.

    If you isolate yourself and are afraid of going through this process (i.e., you are afraid of developing feelings rather than regarding them as an indispensable part of the process and confirmation that you're human) you are much less likely to find someone.

    Good luck.
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    Aug 27, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    sanjose470 saidhave you ever felt like you just wont find the "right" person for you? Ive been pondering that question lately and Im just not sure. I cant help but feel secluded in my surroundings with no way to escape but I tend to bring that upon myself.

    have you ever felt similarly? what did you do to change it? did you end up finding him? or did you just accept the fact that being alone is probably better than being with someone else?

    am I just being overly-dramatic? I can do that sometimes icon_smile.gif
    Who said you could?! Get back to my room and get in bed! I'll take care of you later!
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    Aug 27, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    Well I can honestly say I’m 36 about to turn 37 and I am making future plans based on being alone...

    ..I think subconsciously I’ll be alone for the rest of my life...the subconscious is becoming conscious and now slowly manifesting itself physically!
    Either way I am not bitter or angry..life goes on!
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    Aug 27, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    RJ_JR said
    sanjose470 saidhave you ever felt like you just wont find the "right" person for you? Ive been pondering that question lately and Im just not sure. I cant help but feel secluded in my surroundings with no way to escape but I tend to bring that upon myself.

    have you ever felt similarly? what did you do to change it? did you end up finding him? or did you just accept the fact that being alone is probably better than being with someone else?

    am I just being overly-dramatic? I can do that sometimes icon_smile.gif
    Who said you could?! Get back to my room and get in bed! I'll take care of you later!


    its later and i dont feel taken care of. sigh*
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    Aug 27, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidWell I can honestly say I’m 36 about to turn 37 and I am making future plans based on being alone...

    ..I think subconsciously I’ll be alone for the rest of my life...the subconscious is becoming conscious and now slowly manifesting itself physically!
    Either way I am not bitter or angry..life goes on!


    thats the beauty about life, though, we always think way too far ahead sometimes when we should just let things happen. i know i sound contradictory but at the moment its bleak for me since ive never had a relationship. and youre never too old icon_smile.gif scratch that, you can be too old cuz it takes it toll.
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    Aug 27, 2012 10:46 PM GMT
    There is over seven billion people in this world sooner or later the right one has to show up.
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    Aug 27, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    hey i would go out on a date with you. who knows we might have a lot in common icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 27, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    JustStarted92 saidThere is over seven billion people in this world sooner or later the right one has to show up.

    7 billion divided by 2 is 3.5 billion men. half of them or married so that leaves 1.75 billion. the other half are out of my age group so that leaves 875 million. apparently 1 out of every 10 men is gay so thats 87.5 million. half of them are in relationships so that leaves 43.75 million. then you got the ones attracted to middle eastern hairy guys (me) which is probably only %15 so we got 6.56 million. im assuming about %1 of them live in san jose; 65,600 to chooses from. still not bad. i hope my math is wrong though icon_smile.gif
  • Asmodeus

    Posts: 178

    Aug 27, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    I have never had one and yet I can honestly say that I don't need one. I'm happy on my own. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 27, 2012 11:05 PM GMT
    spark saidhey i would go out on a date with you. who knows we might have a lot in common icon_twisted.gif

    if youre ever in the bay area you better make it part of your itinerary to look me up icon_smile.gif ill be sure to do the same.
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    Aug 27, 2012 11:10 PM GMT
    sanjose470 said
    JustStarted92 saidThere is over seven billion people in this world sooner or later the right one has to show up.

    7 billion divided by 2 is 3.5 billion men. half of them or married so that leaves 1.75 billion. the other half are out of my age group so that leaves 875 million. apparently 1 out of every 10 men is gay so thats 87.5 million. half of them are in relationships so that leaves 43.75 million. then you got the ones attracted to middle eastern hairy guys (me) which is probably only %15 so we got 6.56 million. im assuming about %1 of them live in san jose; 65,600 to chooses from. still not bad. i hope my math is wrong though icon_smile.gif

    Not the only one I like hairy middle eastern guys as well lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 27, 2012 11:17 PM GMT
    JustStarted92 said
    sanjose470 said
    JustStarted92 saidThere is over seven billion people in this world sooner or later the right one has to show up.

    7 billion divided by 2 is 3.5 billion men. half of them or married so that leaves 1.75 billion. the other half are out of my age group so that leaves 875 million. apparently 1 out of every 10 men is gay so thats 87.5 million. half of them are in relationships so that leaves 43.75 million. then you got the ones attracted to middle eastern hairy guys (me) which is probably only %15 so we got 6.56 million. im assuming about %1 of them live in san jose; 65,600 to chooses from. still not bad. i hope my math is wrong though icon_smile.gif

    Not the only one I like hairy middle eastern guys as well lol


    hairy middle eastern WOOF