"Birthmarks" what to do with them?

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 16, 2007 6:45 PM GMT
    I have a birthmark on my face, and I have been having Laser treatment since I was about 20.

    A lot of it is gone, and I'm sure it will all go if I keep it up, but it is very painful, and I am thinking of giving up on it.

    After treatment it is painful for a week, and I don't know if it is my age or what, but I don't seam to be able to put up with the pain anymore.

    Any ideas on covering it up with makeup? Have you ever done it?

    I also have a skin graft on the other side of my face witch I would also like to cover up sometimes.

    Any suggestions, or if you know of any product, I would very much appreciate it.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 16, 2007 8:39 PM GMT
    There's a product that is specifically used for scars or skin discoloration. It's called Dermablend. I think you can order it online as well as purchase it in some department stores.

    I bet if you google it, you'll get some useful hits.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 16, 2007 9:00 PM GMT
    Thanks jorel1. I googled it and it is available here in Ireland. I just might try it.

    Mike
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    Aug 16, 2007 9:10 PM GMT
    Hobnestly I think you should just give your flaws a chance because they help make you unique and to some scars and birthmarks are actually attractive. I've seen your pictures and i honestly don't see anything so repulsive about your face at all.
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    Aug 16, 2007 9:13 PM GMT
    Honestly I think you should just give your flaws a chance because they help make you unique and to some scars and birthmarks are actually attractive. I've seen your pictures and i honestly don't see anything so repulsive about your face at all. Your smile is kind of cute as well. What you need is some confidence not some stupid treatment for some hardly noticable birthmark and skin grafts. You are attractive and you just need to believe it yourself.
  • duglyduckling

    Posts: 279

    Aug 16, 2007 9:16 PM GMT
    I have a birthmark on my face as well, however it is rather small and not as noticable nowadays as compared to when I was younger.

    Often times I have thought of getting rid of it, but my parents always told me that it made me unique.

    I'd say that unless it really affects your social life (in meeting people, etc), I wouldn't worry about it. People will accept you the way you are, whether you have your birthmark or not.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 16, 2007 9:35 PM GMT
    Thank you Alexander for your kind words. My boyfriend agrees with you.

    I think I look better in photos though.

    I think my problem is, that I would like to know what I would look like without the birthmark.

    I used to see a reflexologist for stress treatment a few years ago, and she asked about the birthmark. I told her I was having laser for it and she seamed to get upset and annoyed with me. Her thinking was that it was there for a reason. I found that strange at the time.

    Thanks duglyduckling also.

    Mike
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    Aug 16, 2007 9:42 PM GMT
    photographs make usually make a person look fatter and less attractive so trust me you look fine!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Aug 17, 2007 3:06 AM GMT
    You seem to be struggling with this a little bit
    so I think there is a turmoil going on in you
    I think as we get older we start fitting into our skin better so to speak
    ...you're gonna have to determine FOR YOURSELF
    whether you want or need any of these treatments anymore
    if you're happy with your life
    and you are happy with the man you are ... then the reflexologist was right ... it is part of you
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    Aug 17, 2007 4:33 AM GMT
    There's also one I see commericals all the time for called Maderma or Mederma dont remember the spelling. I have a birth mark under my left nipple. Being that I have some extra luggage that Im trying to lose its not noticed or if it is its not metioned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 5:11 AM GMT

    I think birthmarks are way sexy, especially on the face. :-)

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    Aug 17, 2007 7:51 AM GMT
    Hey, mike - looking at your profile pix I noticed something that you may have overlooked.
    Weeks ago there was only that scenic pic of you crouching at a distance and since then you've added plenty more, all rather close up and well-lit.
    What does it say about you that your main pic is the most close-up of 'em all? and that I needed to double-click it to see what it is that concerns you?

    1- That you're becoming more comfortable with yourself as you evolve;
    2- That it really isn't that obvious, or distracting, or whatever.

    My ex-partner of 12 years was of Cornish ancestry and had very similar colouring (skin tone, hair clour, etc.) as you. He'd become extremely ruddy from the neck up for no explicable reason and at the "most inconvenient times", as he'd say. For everyone that knew him it was just "typically G_____", and for me it was part of his charm.

    Attempting to camouflage your birthmark with make-up will likely result in you experiencing self-consciousness of a (only slightly) different ilk:
    Does it show? Is it even? I'm I sweating too much? Why are they looking at me that way? Et cetera.
    Reformed m.a.c.-addict here, trust me in this one.

    - darko
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 17, 2007 9:10 AM GMT
    Thanks Darko. You have giving me something to think about. I think I'm going through a middle aged crisis. LOL

    Mike
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    Aug 17, 2007 1:32 PM GMT
    Growing a beard is one way to naturally change your facial appearance. Not sure if it would grow in the areas you want, but a short beard, like 7 days growth, might make you happier.

    I agree with the others that you look nice, however.
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    Aug 17, 2007 2:27 PM GMT
    Well my birthmark is on my neck and is about the size of a hicky. So when I go out I get a lot of comments about it, usually from drunk people. If they ask if its a hicky I usually just say yes my 26 year old hicky. Then they say oh its a birthmark and thats the end of it. Its usually drunk people at the bar.

    I guess I have gotten used to it and never even really thought about lasering it.

    People can be harsh when it comes to looks especially in the gay community so I can understand why it would be hard having a birthmark on your face.

    Its your choice and if getting lasered is worth it in your eyes then go for it. If you think you can live with it then dont. Its entirely your decision.

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 19, 2007 1:33 PM GMT
    Thanks to everyone for your posts and your complements. You have boosted my confidence a lot.

    I think I'm going to stop with the laser. My boyfriend wants me to stop as he thinks I suffer too much from it. He accepts me as I am anyway.

    I don't get any comments about the birthmark anymore, but I suffered when I was in school, and that still affects me today, but my confidence is growing.

    As Aero points out my first photo on this site was in the distance where my birthmark did not show. Now I have more close up photos.

    Thanks everyone.

    Mike
  • redheaded_dud...

    Posts: 408

    Aug 19, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
    As much as "the gay life" focuses on youth, there's so much to be said for getting "more mature". As a redhead, there was so much crap I allowed* myself to go through when I was a kid. How many times did I hear other kids making fun of my red hair? I let it bother me, they saw that it bothered me, and they teased me more. It wasn't until college (or even after) that I embraced my redheadedness and realized that 1) some people are actually attracted to redheads and 2) if it weren't for my red hair, in many ways, I wouldn't be quite the same person as the guy I turned out to be.

    Interestingly, I guess there are correlations to the whole gay thing. If I could take a pill tomorrow and become straight, would I? When I was younger, I would have signed up right away for that pill. Now, notsomuch. I am who I am. If I took a pill to make me straight tomorrow, I wouldn't be me.

    Not to be too much of a 'mo, but to quote "Steel Magnolias", "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

    *PS: Note that I said, "allowed myself to go through". It wasn't other kids that made me miserable, it was my own willingness to buy into their teasing. I guess my question to you is, what do you think your co-workers and friends think of your birthmark? Do you worry about something specific reaction?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 19, 2007 2:29 PM GMT
    redheaded_dude
    I don't have coworkers as I work for myself and have no employees. But I used to and I believe I was isolated by some of them, but others were cool with me. The birthmark was much worse back then.

    As for friends, I don't have friends. There are people that I talk to, and go out with from time to time.

    I started Taekwon-do about two years ago, and I have met some great people there. I am a shy guy and find it hard to make friends, but in Taekwon-do the guys there almost force you to interact and be friends with them.

    They don't say anything about my birthmark and they treat me as normal. You could say they are my friends, but they don't know I am gay. That is why I say I have no friends. Friends should know everything about me.

    This worries me a bit. I want to tell them, but don't know how. I have a feeling that one or two know I am gay. I think most of them would be cool with it, but if I get rejected I don't know what I would do.

    There is a tread on this site "redheads are hot" you should check it out.

    Mike




  • redheaded_dud...

    Posts: 408

    Aug 19, 2007 6:15 PM GMT
    I guess my point in asking about your co-workers and friends' reactions to your birthmark was this: are you doing the laser treatments for yourself or for other people?

    As someone else mentioned, maybe you're just getting more comfortable in your "own skin", pardon the pun, and have begun to realize that if other people stare or care more about your birthmark than they care about the "guy behind the birthmark", they're either just not educated about what it is, or they're really shallow people (or both).

    Thanks for pointing me to the "redheads are hot" thread! ;-)
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 19, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    I believe I am doing it for myself.

    As for the redhead thread, I always like to help :-) Thank you for your input to this thread.

    Mike





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 19, 2007 7:28 PM GMT
    pssst.

    redheads Are hot!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2007 5:43 PM GMT
    Mike Phil, Getting out there and doing things like Taekwon-do is great.

    You'll tell people you are gay when you're ready. Don't ever feel pressured to do that. Do you ever talk to the people in your class about casuall subjects? Do they go out for a beer or coffee after class? If they do, you should tag along. If they don't, maybe you could ask them if they's like to go for one after class.

    Sometimes when I'm in a social setting, people find out that I'm gay just by me making reference to my partner during casual conversation. I don't do it on purpose so they know I'm gay, it just comes up naturally.

    Also, I know I was the first to respond with a makeup suggestion. I did it becasue you asked. But I do agree with what people say here. It's all about what you're comfortable with. I think you look great as you are. :-)

    Take care,
    Jorel



  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 21, 2007 7:01 PM GMT
    Thanks Jorel for your advice on coming out. Have you ever had a bad reaction from someone finding out you were gay?

    Thanks to everyone. You are all cool guys.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    I still haven't been able to see what it is that you're referring to Mike. Don't go changin' ;)

    nick
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 21, 2007 7:16 PM GMT
    Thanks Nick.