If your boyfriend was/is condescending/controlling to you...

  • BriBri8998

    Posts: 14

    Aug 28, 2012 8:30 PM GMT
    How would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.

    What would you do?

    My friend Amy smacked hers in the face and threatened to kick him out one time, but DAMN! I don't think i'd take it that far. I'd just ask him to stop being a jerk/ deprive him of sex.
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    BriBri8998 saidHow would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.


    Two really huge things wrong here in the above.
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:39 PM GMT
    If your boyfriend is condescending, he's past his due date. I generally throw out the stuff once it sours.

    Using sex as leverage is creepy to me. If you're not making a dollar with it, which I have no problem about, then give it freely or not at all. It's a dick, not a bargaining chip.
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    I'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    i'd dump him and ask you out
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Aug 28, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.


    u go gurrrrl. You strong, empowered woman u!
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:44 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.


    So harsh...you are German right?
    Typical.


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    Aug 28, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    SweetBoy1223 said
    paulflexes saidI'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.


    So harsh...you are German right?
    Typical.


    Germans are pussies compared to me. icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    Import said
    paulflexes saidI'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.


    u go gurrrrl. You strong, empowered woman u!
    hi501.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:49 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    SweetBoy1223 said
    paulflexes saidI'd dump him just as fast as I recently dumped a guy I was dating for three months. The moment he showed controlling behavior, he was gone.


    So harsh...you are German right?
    Typical.


    Germans are pussies compared to me. icon_twisted.gif


    538972_354489741294943_882117959_n.jpg

    salute.jpg
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 28, 2012 8:52 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    BriBri8998 saidHow would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.


    Two really huge things wrong here in the above.


    There's nothing nastier than seeing mushy fish.
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    Aug 28, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    BriBri8998 saidWhat would you do?

    What I have done is push right back. Though I don't play games or use strategems, like withholding sex or other favors. I just stand my ground and refuse to be pushed around.

    But I have a tendency to be the "pusher" myself, and will walk all over a guy if he can't stand up to me, without even realizing I'm doing it. So I prefer a man who's my equal. That way neither of us ever gets the upper hand. And given the personalities of my partner & me, it strangely doesn't result in arguments, rather a classic standoff, a state of perfect equilibrium.

    If you don't fit that role of pushing back (and there's nothing wrong with that), then your better match may be a guy more like yourself. At least that's my own ideal situation, where neither partner or BF is the dominant personality, and there's a natural balance.
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    Aug 28, 2012 9:04 PM GMT
    If someone is being condescending to you, it means one thing...you're either not equals, or he thinks you're not equals. Fighting back will only make things worse. The solution is to pull back, not fight back. Only after realizing they might be losing you will they stop this kind of behavior.
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    Aug 28, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    Bye bye boyfriend.
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    Aug 28, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Ariodante said
    BriBri8998 saidHow would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.


    Two really huge things wrong here in the above.


    There's nothing nastier than seeing mushy fish.


    especially in your eye
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    Aug 28, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    I'd probably tell him that I don't like what he's doing and it is important that he stop that behavior immediately. sometimes pointing out something is enough for the bf to try to change it. Maybe he's a teacher and does it the whole day long.
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    Aug 28, 2012 9:34 PM GMT
    BriBri8998 saidHow would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.

    What would you do?

    My friend Amy smacked hers in the face and threatened to kick him out one time, but DAMN! I don't think i'd take it that far. I'd just ask him to stop being a jerk/ deprive him of sex.


    Number one.. men ARE like Buses .. 1 every 15 minutes... some cities 5 minutes.

    Men are like NYC rats.. or Roaches... you smash one..in seconds another one appears.. so "Not as much fish in the sea" is a pretty horrible outlook to have which will instantly land you in danger of being caught in a relationship where some guy feels he can treat you like shit because you are desperate because you feel as if you need to be with someone in the first place.

    A partner is not need.. it's a want.. it's a gift. It an elective. Not required.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Aug 28, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    Need to control --> No trust --> Doomed relationship.

    But I mean, some people may see it like:
    - "Aww, he's so cute, he worries about me, that's why he needs to know where I am, all the time ... and with whom."

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    Aug 28, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Ariodante said
    BriBri8998 saidHow would you take that? I mean, I know there's "not as mush fish in the see" and that you should appreciate what you have.


    Two really huge things wrong here in the above.


    There's nothing nastier than seeing mushy fish.
    Licking it would be nastier.
  • fitone

    Posts: 276

    Aug 28, 2012 9:59 PM GMT
    i'd move on, life is too short to tolerate that behavior
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    Aug 28, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    jackcash
    Number one.. men ARE like Buses .. 1 every 15 minutes... some cities 5 minutes.

    Men are like NYC rats.. or Roaches... you smash one..in seconds another one appears.. so "Not as much fish in the sea" is a pretty horrible outlook to have which will instantly land you in danger of being caught in a relationship where some guy feels he can treat you like shit because you are desperate because you feel as if you need to be with someone in the first place.

    A partner is not need.. it's a want.. it's a gift. It an elective. Not required.


    While I can't necessarily agree with the not so plenty of fish thing, I don't feel this is quite the solution either.

    Your statement are what SUPER UBER POWERFUL business-executive independent women who are still single at 40 say. "I don't need a man!" Kind of treats mean as disposable rather than talking things thru.

    Yes there are men out there like buses and taxis...but think about how many of those don't wind up boyfriend material. That slogan, catch-phrase is more suited to hookups..not how to work things out in a relationship. Too many people jump from relationship to relationship as it is. You can lay down boundaries and expectations with guys without jumping to the next one.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 28, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    I certainly wouldn't get into a "tit for a tat" kind of control... if he's that kind of guy and he's into control (and you aren't).... time to look for someone else.. don't play the game.....
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    Aug 28, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Well i'd find out sooner than later i'm good with people so finding shit out before it's too late always happens to me. I'm like a human lie detector. So he'd be gone the second he tries anything dumb. icon_razz.gificon_lol.gif
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    Aug 28, 2012 11:56 PM GMT
    Been there, done that and won't go through it again.
    Someone controlling and being condescending isn't Loving.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Aug 29, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    F THAT S NO WAY TIME TO GO.