Crush or Love or lust for male relative - how do you cope?

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    Aug 18, 2008 5:02 PM GMT
    Anyone here been in such a situation where you have developed feelings for an uncle or another much older man married to your relative, how have you handled it? were feelings of jelaousy and envy involved.
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    Aug 18, 2008 5:42 PM GMT
    I had a crush nce when I was young on an older sexy cousin. I didn't do anything aout it.

    I think it's a normal thing to experience. Don't feel bad.

    Keep it as you fantasy for you to have when you have to "take things into your own hands".....but there is no reason to act on it, or tell him, or anyone else for that matter.
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    Aug 18, 2008 5:47 PM GMT
    I have somewhat a crush on an uncle of mine (not a blood relative). Ex-military and still very hunky at almost 50. LOL. But yeah, it's only a crush.

    It's normal, just don't let it get out the realm of imagination. That way lies the tragedies that spawn the mexican telenovelas. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 19, 2008 2:37 PM GMT
    In my case feelings were reciprocated in a discreet way thats why I asked, it was a mix of crush, lust and love and seems to have affected both of us, reached a stage where my body language couldnt hide how I felt around him, I think his wife got suspicious too.

    I was open and willing to go all the way if things developed any further, more so since I saw him get attracte dto another guy and that got me really jealous so I didnt care if I was crossing lines, if he could have interests in others than why not me. sometimes he said syggestive things infront of people, with the read between the lines kind of stuff, hints etc. I wonder why he would do that? did he want it to be known that hes bisexual, kind of strange because I think just about everyone in the family suspects or knows I'm gay.
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    Aug 19, 2008 3:04 PM GMT
    fpkhan saidIn my case feelings were reciprocated in a discreet way thats why I asked, it was a mix of crush, lust and love and seems to have affected both of us, reached a stage where my body language couldnt hide how I felt around him, I think his wife got suspicious too.

    I was open and willing to go all the way if things developed any further, more so since I saw him get attracte dto another guy and that got me really jealous so I didnt care if I was crossing lines, if he could have interests in others than why not me. sometimes he said syggestive things infront of people, with the read between the lines kind of stuff, hints etc. I wonder why he would do that? did he want it to be known that hes bisexual, kind of strange because I think just about everyone in the family suspects or knows I'm gay.


    HIS WIFE??? icon_twisted.gif

    It's hard not to be judgmental here. The guys have offered good advice, but I'll go a step further: CUT IT OUT!

    Your relative is MARRIED. If you don't have respect for yourself icon_lol.gif, then at least respect the woman he chose to marry.

    LEAVE HER MAN ALONE!

    GO AND FIND YOUR OWN!
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    Aug 19, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    You're absolutly right, but then again what about this other guy that he started going weak in the knees for? it made me so jealous, then why not me if hes going to hit on others without bothering about his wife, I'm not saying hes a cheapskate looking to hit on just anyone, but if hes selecting people and having man to man fun, then whos to feel guilty.

    The other guy knows hes married too, that didnt deter him from making suggestive passes at this relative, as a guy I cant marry him, take him from his wife, gobble his wealth or give him kids, and consideirng hes into men and might be having some fun elswhere without his wifes knowledge, perhaps with male friends that he meets everyday, then why shouldnt I also give in if hes interested.
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    Aug 20, 2008 2:16 AM GMT
    fpkhan saidYou're absolutly right, but then again what about this other guy that he started going weak in the knees for? it made me so jealous, then why not me if hes going to hit on others without bothering about his wife, I'm not saying hes a cheapskate looking to hit on just anyone, but if hes selecting people and having man to man fun, then whos to feel guilty.

    The other guy knows hes married too, that didnt deter him from making suggestive passes at this relative, as a guy I cant marry him, take him from his wife, gobble his wealth or give him kids, and consideirng hes into men and might be having some fun elswhere without his wifes knowledge, perhaps with male friends that he meets everyday, then why shouldnt I also give in if hes interested.


    It's great to have fun, but please have some decency. There are tons of guys out there you can fuck, if you're that horny. If you "give in," as you have put it, you WILL live to regret it. There's something special about marriage, regardless of what you believe. EVERY homewrecker I've met has paid DEARLY for tampering with such a union.

    Don't be a tawdry slut--you will only invite the wrath of KARMA! Besides, if you have any semblance of a conscience, you WILL NOT enjoy having sex with this man.

    And he's your relative? YUCK!

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    Aug 20, 2008 2:19 AM GMT
    oh stop judging. desire is desire. for thousands of years relatives fucked each other to keep the gold in one set of hands. brothers and sisters used to marry in egypt. cousins in europe. i have a crush on my youngest uncle. he flirts back. no biggie.
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    Aug 20, 2008 6:13 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidoh stop judging. desire is desire. for thousands of years relatives fucked each other to keep the gold in one set of hands. brothers and sisters used to marry in egypt. cousins in europe. i have a crush on my youngest uncle. he flirts back. no biggie.


    Get real! icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2008 7:46 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidoh stop judging. desire is desire. for thousands of years relatives fucked each other to keep the gold in one set of hands. brothers and sisters used to marry in egypt. cousins in europe. i have a crush on my youngest uncle. he flirts back. no biggie.


    Yes, but it was still seen as bad to cheat on your spouse (or at least it was expected for spouses to have the decency to pretend they weren't actually cheating). Of course some were more cynical than others, but you also have to take into account that marriage meant something very different back then.

    The guy's married. To a family member. This IS the stuff Mexican telenovelas are made of. Sides will be taken, feelings will be hurt, ThalĂ­a will play a major role. Why invite that?
  • Laurence

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    Aug 20, 2008 10:43 AM GMT
    It's natural to have crushes on people you find attractive.

    How you deal with them depends on your level of intelligence and your moral values.

    Remember that not everyone that we meet is going to be within our reach, and learn to live with that.

    Lozx
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    Aug 20, 2008 10:44 AM GMT
    How did I know that the person asking this question had no picture in his profileicon_question.gif I have heard from quite a few people that say oh, I have hooked up or had sex with my brother, sister or uncle. I cant even imagine doing anything with any of my reletives. Just seems too nasty.
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    Aug 20, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    You seem to be ignoring these facts I pointed out.

    The relative showed interest in me too, reciprocating the interest, infact he was the one making most of the suggestive moves.

    He's also shown very obvious interest in other guys, it made me very jealous, so why shouldnt I also have fun with him when hes open to the experience with others, when he dosent have a concience about the issue too considering hes married and hes hitting on single and married guys young and old, why should I care.

    I have tried my best not to do things with him but to him and most bisexual guys like him its just man to man fun, no harm being done to anyone.

    I have also seen quite fishy things happening between this relative and another much older man.

    Most guys I have been with are married bisexuals including some grandfathers, you say I have lots of guys to fuck with, are their wives or marital relationships of no value to you or them? or do I fish out singles and let go of all the desirable bisexuals who want to do it.

    Its just man to man fun like when we were boys, most bisexual guys do it, maybe even with their male relatives if they are willing as long as its not your brother, dad, or your parents real close relatives.
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    Aug 20, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
    It seems like you want to be given good reasons as to why you should not get it on with your relative. People have already given you good ones, but if you need us to be more direct, then here are some reasons:

    - This situation is different from screwing around with other people because it involves someone in your family. Have you considered how this could fuck up your family situation? If I had to guess, I'd say this male relative's wife is going to be PISSED if this happens. You may make some enemies withing your own family. If you fuck up your family, then that's it. You don't get a replacement.

    - Just because it doesn't bother HIM to cheat on his wife, it doesn't mean it it shouldn't bother YOU. Everyone will have their own opinion as to the morality of fooling around with someone who's married, but don't try to lay all the blame on the fact that he's already cheating. Make your own conscious decision.

    - Don't try to simplify the situation by saying it's "just man to man fun". You're not going to fool any one but yourself. Your situation is not that simple and there IS harm that can be done. If it's just a matter of having fun anyways, why not have fun with someone else? It doesn't make sense why you would risk so much for a couple of hook ups.