Letter from my mother *facepalm*

  • Pyre85

    Posts: 213

    Aug 29, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    Phillip, dear, I worry about you! I know you can see what's going on in the world. I wonder if you have ever decided to re-read the Bible passages that talk about what we are now seeing...the prophecy being fulfilled....and knowing what that means. You still have time to return to Jehovah and see the paradise promise fulfilled and with you on the paradise side.
    It is just like a dream of walking through a forest and coming out in a beautiful meadow.
    Even if you do not want to believe, just think of the outrageously wonderful place we will be in just a little while longer. Remember the scripture in Revelation 21:3,4. Do you still have a Bible? There are so many scriptures I would like to re-share with you that only bring peace and happiness without any problems.
    Do you remember these two? Do you remember any others?
    Can I have a young brother bring you a Bible? Would you please spend some time with him using the book 'What Does the Bible Really Teach'. I do not know if I sent you that book and if I did would you still have it.
    I, as your Mom, want to be with you in the paradise. No one can imagine just how wonderful it will be because we have never seen a time that was like it on the earth since the paradise of Eden. And I know you were not there to experience that perfect state.
    So, lets do it together and even now experience some small measure of happiness that is undefiled.

    Now, Phillip, let me see if you can answer all questions in this email. I know how hard that is for you from past experience.

    Come to Florida and get a job here and we can follow through on this little adventure of this life time that will bring complete happiness in the extremely close global paradise.

    I love you and hope you can do this

    Love Mom

    She's known I'm gay for almost 5 years now, I wish she could see past her religion, but shes so blinded by it, believes it so thoroughly It would kill her to lose the 'hope' it provides her.
    I hate that it digs up all the old fears they put in me that it's true, and I hate the fact that I hurt my mother just by being true to myself.
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    Aug 29, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    She's so blinded by it that she thinks there's jobs in Florida! Don't go! Be happy being who you are! And as for The Bible, it's at the bookstore, near the fiction section...
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Aug 29, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    It's sad that she believes in a magical paradise that you're not welcome in. I always wonder how people can expect to be happy in a place where their loved ones aren't welcome. They must love their imaginary god more than they love actual people. Sorry to hear you're going through that. icon_sad.gif
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    Aug 29, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    Wow. Just wow.

    I don't have much to say other than the fact that you are not hurting your mother. She is hurting her child, and herself.

    If you can get to a place where you just brush off stuff like this that's great. Hopefully you've given her plenty of ammunition for your views, like PFLAG resources and pro-gay Christian resources. Assuming you have, then I would suggest not engaging her on this, at all. It won't gain you anything, and the more traction you let her have the more she's going to think that there's some kind of "hope" for you. If you can do that while still maintaining contact, great. That's hard when she is so dug in in her lack of respect for you, so at some point you may have to consider some consequences for her - like no visits home until she lets up.

    Hugs, and good luck.
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    Aug 29, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    13971464-illustration-depicting-a-road-t
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    Aug 29, 2012 3:18 PM GMT
    Lol the job thing in Florida is so true. The only way you'd get a job here is if it's related to Criminal Justice because of all the crime and parking tickets.
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    Aug 29, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    idc about your mom all i know is i want to see you NAKED
  • Pyre85

    Posts: 213

    Aug 29, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    Actually my brother makes way more money than me down there and all he does is supervise people who put flyers on doors. but that's beside the point, I'd never move that far away from my brother-who supports me unconditionally, to be with my Mother who wants to brainwash me again. My chest tightens up just at the thought of going back, actually doing it would kill me.
    My favorite part was when she asked If I'd like a young brother to come over.
    I'm tempted to write back: I have a boyfriend, but thanks for trying to set me up anyway icon_smile.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 29, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    Revelations was written by a guy trippin' on shrooms or something ... In Christianity, the only Word of God is Jesus ... and if Jesus didn't say it, it didn't happen or ain't gonna happen ... The only thing we know is to be prepared because like a thief in the night he come ... there are a few other passages, but this isn't the place for it. Jesus never preached against homosexuality like modern Christians. What he did say was that he would cause one family member to be against another through his teaching. I've read the Douay-Rhimes version. Why? Because it is the literal translation of original writings, there was no speculation of 'well, I think they meant this when they wrote it'.

    Your mother is just trying to advise you because she has a belief that she firmly believes in, although it is a misguided belief. She loves you, so that's why she does it, so try not to hold it against her. Instead try to understand where she is coming from and see if you can calmly rationalize and explain to here where you are coming from. I went through similar when I was your age. Eventually I had to resolve it in my mind. I did this by coming to the realization that the only actual word of God would be that of Jesus, and all the rest are only historical accounts written by men who wanted to control other men. And God knows, man is not perfect, so there is no way anything he writes or says or relates can be perfect, because man is not God.

    Eventually, you will have come to terms with the beliefs you were brought up with. We are not sheep being lead to the slaughter, we are thinking rationalizing beings that are capable if weeding through all the static. Fight fire with fire.
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    Aug 29, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    I've been out for 20+ years and my mom is still like that...totally set in her ways and refuses to change.

    For the past year or so we haven't even discussed religion cause I told her I'd never talk to her again if she ever brought it up. Sometimes she tries to sneak it in, like mentioning a "wonderful bible study" she had, but I stop her in her tracks.

    And sometimes I feel like "pulling a Bobby" (from the movie 'Prayer For Bobby') to make her learn. Just went through an episode of that a few days ago. Fortunately I have an awesome nephew to talk to when those feelings arise.

    I really don't have any advice for you other than to cease contact with your mom, and let her know why. And let her know that paradise and bigotry do not go hand in hand.
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    Aug 29, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I believe in god , but i DISLIKE everything about religions !! Religions are a form of brainwash to me ....
    You are happy right now , so keep living the way you do !!
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Aug 29, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    gawwwd, Jehovah's witnesses sound nuts. icon_rolleyes.gif

    A global paradise? A magical land of fairies and ginger bread houses, no doubt icon_lol.gif

    Dude, your mother loves you, obviously, but it is sad that she is so brainwashed by her religion. She is only telling you what to do based onher knowledge of god, paradise, and religion. She's not doing it to be a some crazy bitch, but because she truly does want to be with you in "paradise"...she loves you.

    It's sad tho. Because will she ever see past her religion? Will she ever gain a mind of her own?
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Aug 29, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    It's really sad because it seems obviously that she deeply loves you and cares about you, but the only obstacle in this is this awful religion, which you have no control over. icon_confused.gif

    Now, talk about making "choices"... You don't choose to be gay. You choose to believe in whatever you believe, though.
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    Aug 29, 2012 4:39 PM GMT
    As cruel as this sounds, her pain really is self-inflicted.
    Jehovah is just one big guilt-trip and the Witnesses are a cult.
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    Aug 29, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    Ask her to pray that god gives you faith. That will keep her busy.
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    correct me if im wrong, but dont witnesses believe like only 144,000 people will go to "heaven"? icon_eek.gif
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Aug 29, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    Seeing what you are going through makes it hard for me to give any advice. I like to think our parents like to be self centered when they don't get what they want from us...be who you are regardless of what your mother thought you are.
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    O5vx saidSeeing what you are going through makes it hard for me to give any advice. I like to think our parents like to be self centered when they don't get what they want from us...be who you are regardless of what your mother thought you are.
    I Support This Message*
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Aug 29, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    Aress saidAs cruel as this sounds, her pain really is self-inflicted.
    Jehovah is just one big guilt-trip and the Witnesses are a cult.


    I don't know if calling them a cult for what they believe in is appropriate, but I don't believe they are..they are just very devoted to their beliefs.
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    I watched Prayers for Bobby last night for the first time and your mom sounds a lot like Bobby's mom before she had a change of heart. Its always possible for her to change but I think you're doing the right thing by staying close to the brother that loves you unconditionally.
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidRevelations was written by a guy trippin' on shrooms or something ... In Christianity, the only Word of God is Jesus ... and if Jesus didn't say it, it didn't happen or ain't gonna happen ... The only thing we know is to be prepared because like a thief in the night he come ... there are a few other passages, but this isn't the place for it. Jesus never preached against homosexuality like modern Christians. What he did say was that he would cause one family member to be against another through his teaching. I've read the Douay-Rhimes version. Why? Because it is the literal translation of original writings, there was no speculation of 'well, I think they meant this when they wrote it'.

    Your mother is just trying to advise you because she has a belief that she firmly believes in, although it is a misguided belief. She loves you, so that's why she does it, so try not to hold it against her. Instead try to understand where she is coming from and see if you can calmly rationalize and explain to here where you are coming from. I went through similar when I was your age. Eventually I had to resolve it in my mind. I did this by coming to the realization that the only actual word of God would be that of Jesus, and all the rest are only historical accounts written by men who wanted to control other men. And God knows, man is not perfect, so there is no way anything he writes or says or relates can be perfect, because man is not God.

    Eventually, you will have come to terms with the beliefs you were brought up with. We are not sheep being lead to the slaughter, we are thinking rationalizing beings that are capable if weeding through all the static. Fight fire with fire.


    Some interesting points here. I've heard much the same about Revelations. The only reason that church elders kept the book in the bible years ago was because they thought it might hold some meaning in the future, but that they couldn't really vouch for it at the time.

    Honestly when people sign up for a Christianity they need to put them through a class on the history of the Bible, to gain real perspective on which books are actually intact historical writings and which ones have been patched together roughly over the past millenia. Hell maybe they should be studied in the original language and with an understanding of the culture they were written in. Whether you believe the contents is what faith is all about but they'd at least know whats what. Too many pastors are near high school dropouts with little to no education outside of "bible college".

    As for you OP, it sounds like your mom means well, but she's just a puppet for the church. Send your love in letters and writing. As a son of a pastor, I feel your pain/annoyance, it took me years to work through the ignorance of the teaching and actually start liking myself for who I am, and I know it will take my parents much, much longer, if ever, to accept me. Good luck.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 29, 2012 5:28 PM GMT
    O5vx said
    Aress saidAs cruel as this sounds, her pain really is self-inflicted.
    Jehovah is just one big guilt-trip and the Witnesses are a cult.


    I don't know if calling them a cult for what they believe in is appropriate, but I don't believe they are..they are just very devoted to their beliefs.

    All religions are cults ... look up the definition ... what makes them a cult is that all the members follow the exact same beliefs ... some people are part of a religious cult and other are just members of a religion and others follow their own belief system
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    El_Crankodor said
    EliBro saidcorrect me if im wrong, but dont witnesses believe like only 144,000 people will go to "heaven"? icon_eek.gif

    Yeah, but they've been building a new wing. It's almost finished now.


    Ahahahaah I lol'd
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Aug 29, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    You know how they say "Hate the sin, love the sinner?" - well, kinda the same thing - Hate her motives, but love your Mom.
    She's your Mom and she does love you, and she's doing what she feels is the right thing to do. No matter how clouded her mindset is, she does love you, and you've only got one Mom, and I'm sure you love her as well.
    You're not the first gay person to struggle with the whole parent/religion/sexuality thing, and won't be the last. I've done, and so have thousands of other men and women.
    I wish I had some simple solution - but I don't. But I do know that it's important to stay in contact with your Mother, and communicate, but keep it brief and stay away from religion. She needs to know you're happy and living a full life. Don't get smart with her or argue, just tell her you love her and she needs to accept you as you are - the way a Mother should. Hopefully, she'll come around, but if not, don't let it be because you drove her away. I'm sure every time you talk, it will bring up the "old fears" and insecurities, parents have a way of doing that - just be strong and surround yourself with loving supporting friends and family.
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    Aug 29, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    OY!!! I feel for you.

    Why don't you buy a bible and tell her you'll read a psalm a night. It might bring her some comfort. (BTW, at least she clearly still loves you.) Frankly, some of the psalms are beautiful and calming even for atheists. So, by spending $15 and 60 seconds a day you'll bring your mother some happiness, increase your own literacy (much of our greatest literature alludes to the bible), and possibly bring yourself some solace too. At worst, it'll bore you and put you to bed!