FuriousGeorge saidConfidence is simply being comfortable existing and interacting. That means being able to stand on your own, being able to say things with conviction, and being able to share yourself with others.
It does NOT require feeling superior to others. It does NOT require bravado. It does NOT require having all the answers.
I'm surprised that many of you say shyness can overlap with confidence. Those seem mutually exclusive to me. Quiet or stoic, sure, but 'shy' almost by definition means not being confident. Obviously someone can be shy with people but confident in their abilities, but now we're talking about two different things.
Hmn.. I Guess you have a point there. Having confidence in oneself but being shy when it comes to a public forum is paradoxical. I don't seem to mind people when I am in a position of office and know it's my job to be social and bubbly. But when I date, I get the hibby jibbies. D:
Makes sense to me. Sounds like you're completely confident living and breathing as the person you are, but you're less confident sharing that person with others. It's easier in a professional setting because you're not really sharing yourself; you're performing a function you were trained to do, and you likely have confidence in your ability to do that as well. On a date, you have to say, "This is me. You may like some parts and dislike others. I'm willing to work on some things, but other things are really important to me. This may or may not work out." Perhaps confidence in sharing with others is more harrowing because there are so many unknowns. You are, after all, dealing with two independent psyches now, and you can't read the other person's mind.
Damn, you're good. ;D Hit the nail on the head.
I'm actually quite good at reading other people. They are my books, my past time bed time stories. The more I know about a person, the better I feel. To an extent, I can read the other person's mind, actually.
However, sharing myself? It's tricky when... you don't know if a person is or is not going to like you. I become the hooded and cloaked man who speaks behind from the darkness of the shawls. I suppose it makes me look like a ghost or a reaper or something.
*Le sigh* I dunno...
I feel like most gay guys can't like me because they don't see me. They're only interested in their ideas of me. When I share, they don't seem to listen or care.
But.. you're right, I have to... learn how to just stand my ground, put my foot down and show them I am who I am. Just to... be myself and let myself be out and free. It's hard but I gotta do it. I just gotta.