NEED ADVICE!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    First of all, I am not fishing for compliments, I just want to put it out there before cattiness and sarcasm roll in.
    I have been working out almost everyday at the gym and have put a lot of effort and time into it. Somedays, I feel great, but, today is one of those days, I don't FEEL attractive. And I know I have a lot of things working in my favor, I'm young, low body fat percentage, blah blah blah. But, when I look at my picture, I feel "disgusted", "gross" on extreme days, on some moderate days, I feel "something is not right/missing, I can't really pinpoint what". By the way, I don't base my self-esteem on other people's attraction, so it is not that I don't get compliments from other people (I couldn't care less about what others think and I rarely go out clubbing or go to bars to get hit on).

    My question is what do YOU do to make YOURSELF FEEL attractive on one of those "disgusting" days? Please don't tell me, go eat a bucket of ice-cream.

    There's one thing that I have been wanting to do, give myself a ice-cold bath with ice cubes. Could it be that my body is telling me it's aching and it translates into psychological issue? if this continues, I think I might go see a psychiatric. I have been reading online that it could be a mild form of "body dysmorphic"?

    Anyway, I would love to know what YOU do to make yourself FEEL attractive? That would be interesting to know, at least for me.

    Body Dysmorphic Disorder

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

    Some of the symptons below are not true but it could be a benign form, right?

    Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD, also body dysmorphia, dysmorphic syndrome; originally dysmorphophobia) is a type of mental illness, a somatoform disorder, wherein the affected person is concerned with body image, manifested as excessive concern about and preoccupation with a perceived defect of their physical features. The person complains of a defect in either one feature or several features of their body; or vaguely complains about their general appearance, which causes psychological distress that causes clinically significant distress or impairs occupational or social functioning. Often BDD co-occurs with emotional depression and anxiety, social withdrawal or social isolation.
    The causes of Body Dysmorphic Disorder are different for each person, usually a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Certain types of psychological trauma stemming from mental and physical abuse, or emotional neglect, can contribute to a person developing BDD. The onset of the symptoms of a mentally unhealthy preoccupation with body image occurs either in adolescence or in early adulthood, whence begins self-criticism of the personal appearance, from which develop atypical aesthetic-standards derived from the internal perceptual discrepancy between the person's ‘actual self’ and the ‘ideal self’. The symptoms of body dysmorphia include psychological depression, social phobia, and obsessive compulsive disorder. The affected individual may become hostile towards family members for no reason.
    BDD is linked to a diminished quality of life, can be co-morbid with major depressive disorder and social phobia (chronic social anxiety); features a suicidal ideation rate of 80 percent, in extreme cases linked with dissociation, and thus can be considered a factor in the person's attempting suicide. BDD can be treated with either psychotherapy or psychiatric medication, or both; moreover, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective treatments. Although originally a mental-illness diagnosis usually applied to women, Body Dysmorphic Disorder occurs equally among men and women, and occasionally in children and older adults. About 76% of parents think their child is either over conceited or simply lying about their condition. Approximately one to two percent (1–2%) of the world's population meets the diagnostic criteria for Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

    There are many common symptoms and behaviors associated with BDD. Often these symptoms and behaviors are determined by the nature of the BDD sufferer's perceived defect; for example, use of cosmetics is most common in those with a perceived skin defect. Due to this perception dependency many BDD sufferers will only display a few common symptoms and behaviors.[citation needed]
    Symptoms
    Common symptoms of BDD include:
    Obsessive thoughts about (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
    Obsessive and compulsive behaviors related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s) (see section below).
    Major depressive disorder symptoms.
    Delusional thoughts and beliefs related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
    Social and family withdrawal, social phobia, loneliness and self-imposed social isolation.
    Suicidal ideation.
    Anxiety; possible panic attacks.
    Chronic low self-esteem.
    Feeling self-conscious in social environments; thinking that others notice and mock their perceived defect(s).
    Strong feelings of shame.
    Avoidant personality: avoiding leaving the home or only leaving the home at certain times.
    Dependent personality: dependence on others, such as a partner, friend or family.
    Inability to work or an inability to focus at work due to preoccupation with appearance.
    Problems initiating and maintaining relationships (both intimate relationships and friendships).
    Alcohol and/or drug abuse (often an attempt to self-medicate).
    Repetitive behavior (such as constantly (and heavily) applying make-up; regularly checking appearance in mirrors; see section below for more associated behavior).
    Seeing slightly varying image of self upon each instance of observing a mirror or reflective surface.
    Perfectionism (undergoing cosmetic surgery and behaviors such as excessive moisturizing and exercising with the aim to achieve an ideal body type and reduce anxiety).
    Note: any kind of body modification may change one's appearance. There are many types of body modification that do not include surgery/cosmetic surgery. Body modification (or related behavior) may seem compulsive, repetitive, or focused on one or more areas or features that the individual perceives to be defective.
    Compulsive behaviors
    Common compulsive behaviors associated with BDD include:
    Compulsive mirror checking, glancing in reflective doors, windows and other reflective surfaces.
    Alternatively, inability to look at one's own reflection or photographs of oneself; also, removal of mirrors from the home.
    Attempting to camouflage the imagined defect: for example, using cosmetic camouflage, wearing baggy clothing, maintaining specific body posture or wearing hats.
    Use of distraction techniques to divert attention away from the person's perceived defect, e.g. wearing extravagant clothing or excessive jewelry.
    Excessive grooming behaviors: skin-picking, combing hair, plucking eyebrows, shaving, etc.
    Compulsive skin-touching, especially to measure or feel the perceived defect.
    Immotivated hostility toward people, especially those of the opposite sex (or same sex if homosexual).
    Seeking reassurance from loved ones.
    Excessive dieting or exercising, working on outside appearance.
    Self-harm.
    Comparing appearance/body parts with that/those of others, or obsessive viewing of favorite celebrities or models whom the person suffering from BDD wishes to resemble.
    Compulsive information-seeking: reading books, newspaper articles and websites that relate to the person's perceived defect, e.g. losing hair or being overweight.
    Obsession with plastic surgery or dermatological procedures, often with little satisfactory results (in the perception of the patient). In extreme cases, patients have attempted to perform plastic surgery on themselves, including liposuction and various implants, with disastrous results.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    crossfit7 said... today is one of those days, I don't FEEL attractive.
    ...
    I haven't felt you so I wouldn't know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    crossfit7 said... today is one of those days, I don't FEEL attractive.
    ...
    I haven't felt you so I wouldn't know.


    Put your feelers out then, whaddya waiting for
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    cut ur hair,long hair not suit u,make u look like homeless man,try this...

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSyF7VbK3La9dWH_PrBv0f
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    Cooper87 saidcut ur hair,long hair not suit u,make u look like homeless man,try this...

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSyF7VbK3La9dWH_PrBv0f


    Why should I have to cut my hair, just because you think what should it be? This post is not about asking advice about my hair.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Sep 01, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    crossfit7
    Why should I have to cut my hair, just because you think what should it be? This post is not about asking advice about my hair.


    No, it seems like it might actually be about you fishing for compliments after all. Way to throw everyone off by saying IT ISN'T though...

    You asked for advice on how to feel more attractive. A hair cut seems like a fair suggestion.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    Just_Tim said
    crossfit7
    Why should I have to cut my hair, just because you think what should it be? This post is not about asking advice about my hair.


    No, it seems like it might actually be about you fishing for compliments after all. Way to throw everyone off by saying IT ISN'T though...

    You asked for advice on how to feel more attractive. A hair cut seems like a fair suggestion.





    No, my point is that I am not going to cut my hair just because someone thinks I look like a homeless person. I don't care about what others think about what I look, I care about what I feel about myself.

    What I am asking what do YOU(reader) do to make YOURSELF (reader) FEEL better about YOURSELF when you are having one of those days. I am not asking what you think I should change/do. What I am asking what you do for YOURSELF. Do you even understand what I am really trying to say for pete's sake?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Dress nice and go out for a night on the town! Woop woop!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    Honey ur body is hot . The problem is your hair . Try something like clean cut icon_lol.gif
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Sep 01, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    Neight saidDress nice and go out for a night on the town! Woop woop!


    Stop telling him how to live his life!!!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 01, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    Go to a river ... find a perfect rock that represents your desire ... closed your eyes, hold it in both hands and concentrate all your feelings into the rock ... when feel you have fill the rock with all your energy into the rock throw it into the river and ask the river to bring you your wish ... you can now leave and forget all that you were concerned about
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:32 AM GMT
    I don't think I have that thing your talking about but if I'm having an off day where I'm not feeling my normal positive self...to cheer myself up I watch a funny movie...go for a run...hangout with a friend...or find a friend to play tennis or basketball with...sports are a great way to clear my head.