Svnw688 saidNot buying it, I'm too jaded.
So a couple let gays have the traditional first dance. Let's analyze:
Cost: You miss out on a "first dance" that lasts all of 4 minutes and then get to enjoy the next 4 hours dancing.
Benefit: Everyone views you as some martyr that's given so much to advance a cause that's so noble. You're forever that "nice couple that gave their first dance."
Pah-lease. This required no time, no energy and no effort on their part. Refusing to get married until gays can get married costs something, instructing your guests to donate to (insert your charitable gay cause of choice here, HRC, for example) in lieu of a gift costs something. This overly sentimental gesture is piss in the pot. It's their day, and in their attempt to be nice to gays, the couple has come off looking like magnanimous martyrs. Surprise, surprise, it CONTINUES to be all about them.
You can come sit by me dear. I've saved you a seat.
My first reaction was similar. Though I simply thought this was the 2nd best thing they could have done, the first being to boycott their own marriage.
While your point of costs may be true, it is also true that someone needs to come to the protest for the protest to be effective. So as much as I would like to see str8s who claim to be supportive of our human rights protest by giving up their own rights to marriage, since I have a hard time imagining anyone taking our plight that seriously, even those who claim to love us, because homophobia is so fucking ingrained, much more so, I believe, than racism, I don't expect everyone to be piling into the back of the bus with Rosa to pull that wheelie.
So unless the society columns start publishing disengagement announcements and posting wallet sized portraits of the recently disengaged, the brides to not be, then we take this as a lovely gesture, not just four minutes, but four minutes multiplied by how many people have seen that photo and read about that story, four minutes multiplied by how many have discussed this with their friends or blogged with strangers on familiar forums.
Sometimes the benefits outweigh the costs. Now go dance with your young friends and enjoy the party.