Are emotionally skittish people worth investing in?

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    Sep 01, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    I find that there are quite a few guys who are very strange in the gay community. While trying to make friends with other gay guys i feel like they do stupid things to complicate the friendship.

    For example, I have met quite a few cool people online that I would like to meet in person. Most of these people have no photos and will not show me their photos.

    A lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected. But I'm starting to feel bitter towards these people. I feel like they are wasting my time.

    In real life, there are people who are extremely secretive and want to know a lot about you without revealing anything about themselves......I think that's just as bad.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidI find that there are quite a few guys who are very strange in the gay community. While trying to make friends with other gay guys i feel like they do stupid things to complicate the friendship.

    For example, I have met quite a few cool people online that I would like to meet in person. Most of these people have no photos and will not show me their photos.

    A lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected. But I'm starting to feel bitter towards these people. I feel like they are wasting my time.

    In real life, there are people who are extremely secretive and want to know a lot about you without revealing anything about themselves......I think that's just as bad.


    move on. you are wasting your time. flakes and a'holes.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    They are most definitely wasting your time. Either they are hiding something, or are just not healthy enough for real-life interaction. In either event, not worth too much of your psychic energy.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidA lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected.

    If true, what does this say about their faith in you? You shouldn't feel any obligation to be comfortable with someone who's uncomfortable with you.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    eagermuscle said
    DEKIRUMAN saidA lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected.

    If true, what does this say about their faith in you? You shouldn't feel any obligation to be comfortable with someone who's uncomfortable with you.


    That's one of the biggest things for me. It's actually really offensive.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    Saving the world one person at a time is a great thing but you can't help everybody. It's not easy figuring where one's time and effort are best spent and in the grand scheme what's meant to be is.
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    Sep 01, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    Emotionally skittish...emotionally skittish...hmmmmm........


    icon_cool.gif



    interviewer lady needs to learn the diff between open and closed-ended questions...
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    Sep 01, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    If someone you didnt know called you from an unknown telephone number and started trying to have a conversation with you, asking question about you, and asking you to text them pictures without ever telling you who they were, wouldnt you just hang up? I think most people would. why should it be any different on the internet?
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    Sep 01, 2012 5:08 PM GMT
    OP.. I am not the first to dismiss people based on the things you mentioned..but i wouldn't deeply invest either...

    ..My social policy is ..you take 1 step..i'll take 2..
    there are some people that have legitamate issues ...and if you care you'll be patient!...and yes..there are tons of seedy, game playing flakes that need to be avoided all together!
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    Sep 01, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    i have issues
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    Sep 01, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    Only if one of your known strengths is that of being a stabilizer ie. confident, self-reliant, consistent, and insightful. Certain personality types compliment other types. Some of us have a strength/gift of making other people better/stronger. If you're one of those people, you might be in a person's life for a reason. Figuring out that reason may be the biggest challenge. Sometimes that reason doesn't benefit you as much as the other person.
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    Sep 01, 2012 5:48 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMANAre emotionally skittish people worth investing in?


    No, you aren't.
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    Sep 01, 2012 6:18 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidI find that there are quite a few guys who are very strange in the gay community. While trying to make friends with other gay guys i feel like they do stupid things to complicate the friendship.



    How ironic you mentioned this.
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    Sep 01, 2012 8:05 PM GMT
    A fixer-up project is great, but not when it's a person.

    If the guy can't share anything with you, it's not a good place for a relationship. It's an interview.
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    Sep 01, 2012 8:35 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidI find that there are quite a few guys who are very strange in the gay community. While trying to make friends with other gay guys i feel like they do stupid things to complicate the friendship.

    For example, I have met quite a few cool people online that I would like to meet in person. Most of these people have no photos and will not show me their photos.

    A lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected. But I'm starting to feel bitter towards these people. I feel like they are wasting my time.

    In real life, there are people who are extremely secretive and want to know a lot about you without revealing anything about themselves......I think that's just as bad.


    Agreed. icon_smile.gif Granted, I don't hide myself but I also don't go on a splurge spree and tell them all that I am. I am quite nervous and tense when I meet for the first time (bad experiences in the past). It all depends on how interested the person seems in me.
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    Sep 01, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN saidI find that there are quite a few guys who are very strange in the gay community. While trying to make friends with other gay guys i feel like they do stupid things to complicate the friendship.

    For example, I have met quite a few cool people online that I would like to meet in person. Most of these people have no photos and will not show me their photos.

    A lot of them feel like they are unattractive or think they will be rejected. But I'm starting to feel bitter towards these people. I feel like they are wasting my time.

    In real life, there are people who are extremely secretive and want to know a lot about you without revealing anything about themselves......I think that's just as bad.


    Folks like that really aren't worth your time. They sabotage any efforts at enduring relationships at any level.

    Normal people have faces, shake hands, have first and last name, and take a genuine interest in each other.

    Understand, the folks you are talking about are what I call "head-fucked." You can't help them. They won't help themselves.

    The root cause, I suspect, is self-loathing, and a lack of trust in other people.

    I've had several very "gay" folks tell me "nobody knows I'm gay." Yeah, right.

    Or, "discreet".

    It's all garbage excuses for dysfunctional fucks incapable of behaving properly.

    "Hi, I'm Chuck Gudgel, and I live in the Colony, TX and I work for Cisco Systems Advanced Services. I'm in my 38'th year of lifting. What do you do for a living? You look like you must workout, too. I have memberships at both 24 Hour and LA Fitness. " That's how NORMAL people behave.

    When folks won't give me a name, I tell them, "Well, if it's the 007 thing, I sure am not going to allow someone in my home who I don't know who they are. That's a bathhouse thing. I sure as hell won't let you near my bedroom if you can't tell me who you are. You'll have to go elsewhere."

    Sometimes, they get cranky, but, they usually just take their medicine.

    You don't need those head fucked folks in your life.
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    Sep 01, 2012 8:56 PM GMT
    Chucky is a major reason why I posted my pic on RJ......icon_wink.gif



    And I ain't heard the end of all the men complaining........icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 01, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    social rejects need love too.
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    Sep 01, 2012 9:11 PM GMT
    turbobilly saidChucky is a major reason why I posted my pic on RJ......icon_wink.gif



    And I ain't heard the end of all the men complaining........icon_sad.gif


    236689_whatchu_talkin_bout_willis.jpg

    Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?
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    Sep 01, 2012 9:18 PM GMT
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    Sep 01, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    ChangeofName saidsocial rejects need love too.

    (get a puppy)
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    Sep 01, 2012 11:25 PM GMT
    I often find that they have the most to offer, but then again the world is hardest on them.

    You can see their dilemma.
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

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    Sep 01, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    They have the most to offer? What!? World is hardest on them!? WHAT!? Dude, what the hell are you smoking, cause I need some of that shit.

    World is hardest on people born in third world countries with HIV and no doctors and barely any food and 9 family members. Not morons online who don't have the balls to send a face photo to someone who lives 6 states away and won't remember them by at most 2 weeks later, because "they're discreet and don't want it to come back to bite them down the line". What the hell do these people offer exactly? A perfect example of how to act as if you're an escaped sex offender who broke out of jail and is trying to hook up online but doesn't want his face seen? Yeah, I really want to waste my time talking to sketchy people who act like a modern day Jack the Ripper.

    Please don't talk to fucking losers who don't even have the common courtesy of showing their face. Main reason: they're unattractive. Not because their discreet. Good looking dudes, as evidenced by this site, ENJOY showing their face or body or whatever. People who don't show their face......yeah. I wasted sooo much time talking to people like that on chatrooms and craigslist when I was 17/18 (granted, never met with any). The kind of dudes who you'd send a face photo, then they'd just say "hot man, where you at?" and when you'd ask for one back, they'd always say the same stuff.

    "Cameras broke."
    "Don't have any pics online of me."
    "Don't wanna give my facebook to strangers." (So block me 5 seconds after I look at you)
    "I'm closeted and have a career and don't want this to haunt me." (Not asking for a full body nude shot, asking for your face).

    Man, I will talk to you if you wanna talk. Tell dickheads like that who don't respect you enough to even show you who they are, that ALL friendships/relationships are about give and take. You shouldn't be doing all the giving.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2012 12:07 AM GMT
    It's thing called perspective, relative to the actual question.

    Also, skittish for me doesn't necessarily equal Eyes Without A Face.
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    Sep 02, 2012 12:23 AM GMT
    Good song.