My long relationship has ruined me sexually!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    And heres why.

    With my ex I was with him for ten years, our sex life at the end wasn't great BUT what was great is that when we had sex it was a free for all. I was in charge, he was in charge, we'd swap and change and no one had any idea of what was going on.

    It was great, it didn't matter what happened as long as we enjoyed it, laughed, smiled and enjoyed each other and relaxed.

    I would go any which was I didn't have a position I didn't like and I didn't have any great demands. I didn't need role play just passion. Sometimes it could be ferocious ripping off clothes and other times it was gentle slow and enjoyably frustrating.

    Now I'm single and god damn it if the gay community is incredibly one dimensional.

    I mostly top these days and it's expected that I am the dominant guy, I gotta be aggressive, I've gotta be in charge and I have to have my way with them.

    Yes that's fun occasionally but damn it I don't wanna do that all the time. You get on top and have fun, I can still be the top but WTF Why am I always in charge? haven't you heard about using a top to satisfy your self? I don't know of any top who doesn't enjoy it and it's not that difficult to do.


    But NOOOOOOOOOOOO ugh it's frustrating. Plus it's sooooooooo freakin serious like come on when can we relax and laugh and enjoy our selfs, it's sex for crying out loud we aren't building bombs here we should be laughing and smiling!

    Gay sex is starting to become very boring and yet... I'm so freakin horny!
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Sep 02, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    Well when you post ads or profiles to meet guys just state that you are versatile and looking to date only other versatile guys. You can't blame your partners when you're the one who settled for something other than what you really wanted. If you don't want to be a dom top then don't go after guys that identify as bottoms.
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    Sep 02, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    it's not about the position, I don't care if I'm gonna be the top or the bottom.

    it's about these stupid roles guys want you to play. The aggressive dominant male and I've not met many guys who don't look for that and if you fall outta that role you can hear the chatter going on in their head like a director "CUT, Take two" it's REALLY boring
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    Sep 02, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidAnd heres why.

    With my ex I was with him for ten years, our sex life at the end wasn't great BUT what was great is that when we had sex it was a free for all. I was in charge, he was in charge, we'd swap and change and no one had any idea of what was going on.

    It was great, it didn't matter what happened as long as we enjoyed it, laughed, smiled and enjoyed each other and relaxed.

    I would go any which was I didn't have a position I didn't like and I didn't have any great demands. I didn't need role play just passion. Sometimes it could be ferocious ripping off clothes and other times it was gentle slow and enjoyably frustrating.

    Now I'm single and god damn it if the gay community is incredibly one dimensional.

    I mostly top these days and it's expected that I am the dominant guy, I gotta be aggressive, I've gotta be in charge and I have to have my way with them.

    Yes that's fun occasionally but damn it I don't wanna do that all the time. You get on top and have fun, I can still be the top but WTF Why am I always in charge? haven't you heard about using a top to satisfy your self? I don't know of any top who doesn't enjoy it and it's not that difficult to do.


    But NOOOOOOOOOOOO ugh it's frustrating. Plus it's sooooooooo freakin serious like come on when can we relax and laugh and enjoy our selfs, it's sex for crying out loud we aren't building bombs here we should be laughing and smiling!

    Gay sex is starting to become very boring and yet... I'm so freakin horny!


    I... suppose I can relate. Although I've mostly been the top. The times I bottomed it wasn't enjoyable except with my toy and my last ex. Now I'm burning, thirsting for someone's touch.

    The gay culture is one dimensional in more than one way (so maybe that makes them 2D?)-- mostly in how they define roles. There isn't much diversity despite its claims (not that I can tell anyway) icon_neutral.gif . They're about very linear sex patterns: kissing, BJ, fuck. That's it. There's no "foreplay" no "passion" and certainly no "intimacy". Most are self-serving and narcissistic.

    Anyway, I miss having sex and making love with my last partner. He was the best one I had so far-- then again, I haven't had many so.. yeah. :/
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    Sep 02, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    Find a power bottom.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 02, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidit's not about the position, I don't care if I'm gonna be the top or the bottom.

    it's about these stupid roles guys want you to play. The aggressive dominant male and I've not met many guys who don't look for that and if you fall outta that role you can hear the chatter going on in their head like a director "CUT, Take two" it's REALLY boring


    If you weren't half a world away I would totally be so aggressive with you you'd never want to top again.
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    Sep 02, 2012 8:29 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    They're about very linear sex patterns: kissing, BJ, fuck. That's it. There's no "foreplay" no "passion" and certainly no "intimacy".


    You can blame porn for that. I can't even get off to it. You gotta look for the REAL amateur stuff, now that's hot icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:02 AM GMT
    waccamatt said
    lilTanker saidit's not about the position, I don't care if I'm gonna be the top or the bottom.

    it's about these stupid roles guys want you to play. The aggressive dominant male and I've not met many guys who don't look for that and if you fall outta that role you can hear the chatter going on in their head like a director "CUT, Take two" it's REALLY boring


    If you weren't half a world away I would totally be so aggressive with you you'd never want to top again.


    *Harumph*

    Get in line.....icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:06 AM GMT
    Boys boys boys hahaha

    it's not about the aggression, it's the passion, the intensity, the dropping of rules and roles. It's about having fun, enjoying it.

    It's the experience. You don't get the experience anywhere else, it can't be replaced or exchanged for something else so you need to make it the best experience. Doesn't matter if it's rough or gentle. It needs to be good, free and satisfying.
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:10 AM GMT
    I was all the way with you up until the word "free."

    Free?!?!?!?

    icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:15 AM GMT
    turbobilly saidI was all the way with you up until the word "free."

    Free?!?!?!?

    icon_eek.gif


    Bless your heart.
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:17 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    turbobilly saidI was all the way with you up until the word "free."

    Free?!?!?!?

    icon_eek.gif


    Bless your heart.


    Don't you be blessing my heart, mofo......
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:20 AM GMT
    turbobilly said
    ParadiseLost said
    turbobilly saidI was all the way with you up until the word "free."

    Free?!?!?!?

    icon_eek.gif


    Bless your heart.


    Don't you be blessing my heart, mofo......


    Too late for that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:24 AM GMT
    In the past you used to love your partner + have sex .
    Now you have no partner to love + have sex.
    I think if you find love again, you will enjoy your sex life!
    .. if I just can control the lust icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:27 AM GMT
    ^
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 02, 2012 9:38 AM GMT
    jackthejock saidWell when you post ads or profiles to meet guys just state that you are versatile and looking to date only other versatile guys. You can't blame your partners when you're the one who settled for something other than what you really wanted. If you don't want to be a dom top then don't go after guys that identify as bottoms.


    Yeah, but it seems like a lot of vers guys are really total bottoms.
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Sep 02, 2012 10:01 AM GMT
    ^ actually the few versatile dudes I've been with only one ever topped me and that was after I topped him, the rest just wanted me to top them an that was it. Kinda bored the fuck outta me. I like the variety of flip flop fucking.
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    Sep 02, 2012 10:32 AM GMT
    Marko89 said^ actually the few versatile dudes I've been with only one ever topped me and that was after I topped him, the rest just wanted me to top them an that was it. Kinda bored the fuck outta me. I like the variety of flip flop fucking.


    I agree. That said if I were to get into a great relationship with an incredibly talented top or bottom, I'd be willing to make a compromise or two. If ended up as the bottom, he compromise would have to be blow jobs whenever I wanted one. Haha
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Sep 02, 2012 10:54 AM GMT
    Seems fair to me man. lol
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    Sep 02, 2012 11:14 AM GMT
    turbobilly saidI was all the way with you up until the word "free."

    Free?!?!?!?

    icon_eek.gif

    mentally and physically free you ding bat! hahahaha
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    Sep 02, 2012 11:14 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidRuined? Really?

    Oh well...guess it's time to throw in the towel, bud.

    a.aaa-suicide-adapter.jpg

    oh shush you!!
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    Sep 02, 2012 11:15 AM GMT
    Marko89 said^ actually the few versatile dudes I've been with only one ever topped me and that was after I topped him, the rest just wanted me to top them an that was it. Kinda bored the fuck outta me. I like the variety of flip flop fucking.

    I know, there are so few good versatile guys.... it's heart breaking...

    or maybe I just need two guys.. at least that way I could have a combination
  • Marko89

    Posts: 239

    Sep 02, 2012 11:20 AM GMT
    Lol that could be fun, always wanted to do something like that! >:]
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    Sep 02, 2012 11:21 AM GMT
    I think it takes time to develop that spontaneity in sex. First encounters are usually about what the person like at that very moment. Love making evolves and it morphs into whatever suits your needs. Im sure if you go beyond the short encounters, you will be more satisfied.
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    Sep 02, 2012 11:27 AM GMT
    What the OP needs...














    ...is rope. icon_biggrin.gif