Need My RJ Friends' Help!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    I invited my friend to go see a movie, well all I really did was ask if he was busy because I wanted to go see this movie that we were talking about just the other day, both really into it, and he replies that he's "not busy just broke at the moment lol."

    Now the guy is a really proud kind of guy, so I'm not sure how he would take the offer of me paying for him. I have no problem doing that, it's not much, just he kind of lost his job recently (it was messy) so I'm not sure if it'd be bad on my part to offer it.

    What do you guys think I should do?
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    I paid a "broke" RJ'ers way for an entire weekend getaway to Sedona, Flagstaff, Grand Canyon (aerial tour), and all the attractions in between.

    There's nothing wrong with being so desperate to have someone tag along that you're willing to pay for them. icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:35 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI paid a "broke" RJ'ers way for an entire weekend getaway to Sedona, Flagstaff, Grand Canyon (aerial tour), and all the attractions in between.

    There's nothing wrong with being so desperate to have someone tag along that you're willing to pay for them. icon_lol.gif


    It's not about me being desperate for someone to come with, I mean, I'd love to see the show with him so we can talk about it more... but I don't think he'd react well to me saying "don't worry, I'll cover it no big deal."
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    I say go for it. Just insist that since you asked you will pay.
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:37 PM GMT
    If you don't mind paying, do it. It's pretty simple. If he gets angry or declines, just tell him you really want to go with him. If he still doesn't want to, then go do something free like a walk in the park or go to an art gallery.

    You'll never know how he will react until you ask him. So do it and get it over with.
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    I guess you guys are right, I'll go tell him and see what happens. Thanks RJ for the support!
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    Just phrase it in a way like, "I'll get this time. You can get it next time." It gives him a way out to protect his pride. The 'next time' may never come about, but it is just a movie, not an expensive vacation.
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    MarkRoger said
    paulflexes saidI paid a "broke" RJ'ers way for an entire weekend getaway to Sedona, Flagstaff, Grand Canyon (aerial tour), and all the attractions in between.

    There's nothing wrong with being so desperate to have someone tag along that you're willing to pay for them. icon_lol.gif


    It's not about me being desperate for someone to come with, I mean, I'd love to see the show with him so we can talk about it more... but I don't think he'd react well to me saying "don't worry, I'll cover it no big deal."
    I was only kidding about the desperate thing. icon_wink.gif

    Just offer to cover it for him. I've been in his shoes. Hell most people have been in his shoes. If it offends him, that's his problem to deal with and you'll that he's too sensitive about little things.
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    Sep 03, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidJust phrase it in a way like, "I'll get this time. You can get it next time." It gives him a way out to protect his pride. The 'next time' may never come about, but it is just a movie, not an expensive vacation.


    Double BINGO.

    -us guys
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 03, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    Offer to treat him to the movie. Tell him his company means more to you than the price of an extra ticket and you'd be deeply offended if he turned you down....

    Or you could just lie and say you won the tickets on the radio.
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    Sep 04, 2012 12:02 AM GMT
    I told him that it's not a problem and just gave details on when it's going to show, and his reply was 'oh ok.'

    I feel like I offended him... straight guys are so weird!
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    You can also phrase it as though he's the one doing YOU a favor. Tell him you're going crazy, and you need to get out of the house, but you don't want to go alone. Tell him you don't mind paying because he's really helping you out by getting you out of your house. Then he might not feel so badly.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidYou can also phrase it as though he's the one doing YOU a favor. Tell him you're going crazy, and you need to get out of the house, but you don't want to go alone. Tell him you don't mind paying because he's really helping you out by getting you out of your house. Then he might not feel so badly.


    What to say to 'oh ok'? It sounds like he's pissed! I'm freaking out here...
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Go for it, man! He'll appreciate the sign of friendship. It's not too extravagant that he'll feel embarrassed or anything. When one of my close friends lost his job, I took him out for a 3-course steak dinner. We had a great time! And it really, really lifted his spirits! Good Luck!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 04, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Hey I would offer it, but you know him, but the offer can be put diplomatically....

    "You are a great friend and I enjoy your company, I'll pay for you this time and next time you can return the favor".....

    "I'm happy to pay for both of us.. it's great spending time with you"!

    He can pay another time if he likes... I'd accept, but be assured, I'd pay the next time.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidWhat to say to 'oh ok'? It sounds like he's pissed! I'm freaking out here...


    He's may not be thrilled, but it's not like you just bought him a trip to Europe. It's just a movie. He should be fine.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    Next time..

    "Hey I got some free movies passes from work. Wanna go see a movie?"

    It totally changes things when it's perceived that neither of you are paying.

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    Sep 04, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    I got pass the asking part, he's now bummed by it, I'm sure of it. All he replied to me was 'oh ok' how do I follow up to that!?
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    Did he agree to meet you?
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    I dunno. Maybe he really doesn't want to see a movie right now?
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    All he said after I told him the details was 'oh ok.' I dunno what that means and I don't want to ask more but it kinda seems like he's not into it, me paying that is. How do I just forget this entire thing, like blow it all over.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:33 AM GMT
    When you told him the details, did you tell him what time you meet you? I don't understand if you came to any sort of agreement to meet up.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidWhen you told him the details, did you tell him what time you meet you? I don't understand if you came to any sort of agreement to meet up.


    I just sent him a message on facebook with the details (also before that I mentioned that it was no problem) and his reply was 'oh ok'.
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    It's done. Just go and see the movie. By the end, you'll both forget about these little hang-ups and go on with your lives. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 04, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    Well I didn't get real confirmation lol. I'm asking now... I hope I wasn't stupid with this.