UPDATE!!! Have you ever dated/hooked up with a guy who went back in the closet and got with a woman?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Recently I saw one guy I used to fool around with and he was with his gf. I guess they are 'really serious' now because they have promise rings icon_rolleyes.gif.

    We got to talking and he said he wanted to hangout with me again. I'm not really sure what to say or do. It kind of boils my blood that no one knows about us and his gf doesn't know who I am.

    But I'm confused by all of this icon_confused.gif


    Did this ever happen to you? & How did that make you feel?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2012 8:48 PM GMT
    Yeah, my "high school sweetheart" was completely bi, and got married after graduation.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 03, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    no, but i dated this guy once... and we were like pretty good together, etc...

    well, after we stopped talking, i found out he turned into a woman. icon_confused.gif
    what did i do to the poor guy to make him wanna do that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    Import saidno, but i dated this guy once... and we were like pretty good together, etc...

    well, after we stopped talking, i found out he turned into a woman. icon_confused.gif
    what did i do to the poor guy to make him wanna do that?


    oh wow I wasn't expecting that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    Where's confusion? Some people are completely heterosexual, some are completely homosexual, and some are bi.u

    He either likes you and wants to be friends or he misses dick.
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    Sep 04, 2012 12:39 AM GMT
    Sounds like the OP is just a booty call whenever his "friend" is craving dick. Probably not a good idea to get attached to this guy. If the GF ever finds out, I'm sure you'll get dragged into the drama cyclone. icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 04, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    haha man u got all the power in the situation.
    all u have to do is tell his gf. icon_lol.gif
    his life may come crashing down. im not sayin to do that, but damn, dude should show u some respect
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 12:43 AM GMT
    Yep. Being Bi means I can date both; however, it doesn't mean I always get both. icon_neutral.gif I may have a bigger pool of people to tap into but the 'backlash' people sometimes have against bi people doesn't keep our dating prospects very high. I speak from experience on this. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    yeah i definitely don't want to be used by this guy just for sex but I think telling his gf might bring more unnecessary drama.
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    Sep 04, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    WestCoastGuy saidyeah i definitely don't want to be used by this guy just for sex but I think telling his gf might bring more unnecessary drama.


    Well, never date someone who is already in a relationship. icon_smile.gif Gay men are guilty of it as well.
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    Sep 04, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    WestCoastGuy saidyeah i definitely don't want to be used by this guy just for sex but I think telling his gf might bring more unnecessary drama.


    Well, never date someone who is already in a relationship. icon_smile.gif Gay men are guilty of it as well.


    I guess it just bothers me because of all the stuff we did now he's all of a sudden straight when I know he's done more with me than his gf icon_redface.gif lol.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 04, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    It's no big deal if he's serious with a girl now. From that information alone, that doesn't mean that he's "playing straight". He may legitimately be happy with her. That's okay.

    BUT why does he want to see you again? Were you good friends besides your sexual history? I take it that he's never told anyone about his homosexual tendencies. I would certainly not mess around with him while he's in this relationship. Do you think that's what he wants?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 5:05 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidIt's no big deal if he's serious with a girl now. From that information alone, that doesn't mean that he's "playing straight". He may legitimately be happy with her. That's okay.

    BUT why does he want to see you again? Were you good friends besides your sexual history? I take it that he's never told anyone about his homosexual tendencies. I would certainly not mess around with him while he's in this relationship. Do you think that's what he wants?


    We were good friends then we started messing around. Now ever since then every time we got together we fool around. I mean I figure if he was so happy with his new gf he wouldn't want to mess that up by trying to see a guy he's been with. They've only been dating for a couple months. They say they're in love and already have matching rings. That's why I think it might just be a relationship for show. Because he's never had sex with a girl or a serious gf.
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    Sep 04, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    hahahahahaha promise ring hahahahahaha

    Shit kids do... seriously hahahaha
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 04, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    Oooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 04, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidhahahahahaha promise ring hahahahahaha

    Shit kids do... seriously hahahaha

    hahahaha I know. I was like what is this shit?! And the girl is quite a trip she got mad at him because he went to the mall but didn't get her anything from Tiffany's. I could go on with more things she does but I'll leave it at that for now.
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    Sep 04, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidhahahahahaha promise ring hahahahahaha

    Shit kids do... seriously hahahaha


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 5:36 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Sep 04, 2012 5:59 AM GMT
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif


    Such nonsense should not be tolerated.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 04, 2012 6:08 AM GMT
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif


    Sounds like you've got a good perspective on things then. If you value the friendship, I'd go ahead and meet up, but don't put up with any of his bullshit if he tries to move things THAT way (that really also says a lot about how much he values trust if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend). I can't say I've ever been in the same situation, but I have messed around with "straight" friends who then never talk about it again. I'm cool with that, but I'd never put up with that shit while they were dating someone.
  • Jonno11

    Posts: 181

    Sep 04, 2012 6:26 AM GMT
    One of my best friends and I fooled around in high school. Im out to him, and all our other friends, and he is engaged to his GF. I havent brought up with anyone what we did together, as its not my place. He seems happy where he is in life, so thats all that matters. Im looking forward to being a Groomsman at his wedding.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:29 AM GMT
    O5vx said
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif


    Such nonsense should not be tolerated.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge said
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif


    Sounds like you've got a good perspective on things then. If you value the friendship, I'd go ahead and meet up, but don't put up with any of his bullshit if he tries to move things THAT way (that really also says a lot about how much he values trust if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend). I can't say I've ever been in the same situation, but I have messed around with "straight" friends who then never talk about it again. I'm cool with that, but I'd never put up with that shit while they were dating someone.


    Maybe I should just have a sit down conversation about everything with him about us. But I don't want to come off as trying to ruin their "serious relationship".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    No, only turned drag queen.

    Its about their indentity, not about you.

    Get over it. icon_biggrin.gif
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 05, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge said
    WestCoastGuy said
    FuriousGeorge saidOooh, that's a tough one man. You guys have a pre-existing friendship, they haven't really been dating that long, AND he's contacting YOU, knowing that every time you get together, you mess around.

    The only thing I can think to say is: continue with the friendship, make it clear to him that you won't mess around while he's dating her, and just play it by ear. Would you like to continue messing around with him? It sounds like you don't care much for the girl. In my opinion, it's okay not to support a friend's relationship as long as you don't actively work to sabotage it. But hey, if he wants it, and you want it ... I ain't your preacher. icon_twisted.gif


    Honestly I wouldn't hook up with him right now. Not because of his gf. Because from the 1 time I met her she seemed like a bitch. And she's completely annoying. But because I don't want to be anyone's secret; I'm over that b.s. If someone wants me they have to be open and honest and not just say i'm their "buddy" after all we did icon_rolleyes.gif


    Sounds like you've got a good perspective on things then. If you value the friendship, I'd go ahead and meet up, but don't put up with any of his bullshit if he tries to move things THAT way (that really also says a lot about how much he values trust if he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend). I can't say I've ever been in the same situation, but I have messed around with "straight" friends who then never talk about it again. I'm cool with that, but I'd never put up with that shit while they were dating someone.


    Maybe I should just have a sit down conversation about everything with him about us. But I don't want to come off as trying to ruin their "serious relationship".


    Yeah, that's the risk. Personally, I think you're better off letting sleeping dogs lie up until he tries to do something with you. Then lay everything out.