It all feels alittle...ummm.....homophobic?

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:28 PM GMT

  So, I have just joined this site and it seems great.....but........
  
  .........when I keep checking out people's profiles an keep being met with 'no femmy guys'....'only fancy straight-acting guys'.....I think 'fair enough', but also, 'What the FUCK?'
  
  Us 'inbetweeners'...who are as strong, tough, active, charming and well-endowed as the 'masculine' guys but who can drop to the splits and enjoy a showtune and jazzpant....end up evaluating their own masculinity.
  
  You know......being muscular or having a deep voice or a swagger or a baseball cap and tattoos...doesn't make you masculine. Even a combination of them all doesn't. I could have all those things and act very 'masculine' but it would be an act...even if I did it really well.
  
  My point is.......why is this such a big deal, and seems to be the main thing people want/are looking for? It would be great to see people wanting balanced, connected, active men as opposed to 'masculine'....it all feels a little........ummm......homophobic?
  
  Probably talking bollocks, just sharing my early observations.
  
  Ta.

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• robevans912
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:33 PM GMT

  Hey, don't worry about it.
  
  Those people also list "single" as their relationship status... and they're unlikely to change it any time soon.

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• HottJoe
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:34 PM GMT

  I'll support your femmy antics, girl.

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:35 PM GMT

  Why worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:39 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  You just highlighted my point perfectly.
  
  Just because you listen to showtunes for 4 hours doesn't make you less masculine. Masculinity is not that. The way people seem to quantify it is by really archaeic measures.
  
  I am really saying, stop categorising men into men and 'real men'.....men and 'proper, straight-acting' men. We are all men.
  
  

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• HottJoe
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:42 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  Is it masc to spend 4 hours getting stoned with your bf and shooting zombies on Xbox?

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:43 PM GMT

  HottJoe said

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  Is it masc to spend 4 hours getting stoned with your bf and shooting zombies on Xbox?

  
  
  Yes. You are now officially a straight-acting man. Here is your badge. Congrats. :-)

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:44 PM GMT

  Just ignore the self-proclaimed "masculine" and "straight acting" guys. I've met a few of these types of guys in the past and they turned out to be big ol' muscle Marys.

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:45 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidI've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.

  
  Actually I do both. Even done drag to showtunes. And then went tent camping with my motorcycle to the Sturgis motorcycle rally. Or fishing with my camper trailer. Maybe not all that common, but I assure you I'm not the only one.

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• HottJoe
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:45 PM GMT

  tomkeelingrocks said

  HottJoe said

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  Is it masc to spend 4 hours getting stoned with your bf and shooting zombies on Xbox?

  
  
  Yes. You are now officially a straight-acting man. Here is your badge. Congrats. :-)

  
  
  Okay but I usually play Zoey the female character on Left 4 Dead, so you might want to rethink that. LOL

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:46 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  Show tunes are not fem!
  
  This whole thing is going to blow up into an argument about what is masc/fem. To the OP, I don't know what profiles you read (probably the ones here just for sex) but a lot of guys on here don't even mention crap like that in their profile.
  
  Just ignore the ones who say that, they're either looking for action and/or a specific type of guy they know they will like. What's wrong with them looking for someone they know they will get along with rather than a "maybe" guy that doesn't like monster trucks, alligator wrestling, killing live animals with bare hands and other "masculine" things.

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:46 PM GMT

  Well, your badge can say 'fierce straight guy...drops it like it's hot'. K?

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• HottJoe
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:46 PM GMT

  Art_Deco said

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.

  
  Actually I do both. Even done drag to showtunes. And then went tent camping with my motorcycle to the Sturgis motorcycle rally. Maybe not all that common, but I assure you I'm not the only one.

  
  
  Art, everyone knows you're a big Ol' queen, darling!

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• gr8hands4you
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 9:50 PM GMT

  Hmmmm Just be yourself and don't every worry about the others...

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  Sep 03, 2012 9:54 PM GMT

  I am already aware I have opened a can of bollocks......
  
  ...............but people who fancy 'straight-acting men' are missing out on a whole cross-section of men based on something that is an illusion.
  
  This is why I think those search filters are not that cool......everyone thinks they know what they 'like'...until they realise they don't.
  
  DEEP. Shut up Tom.
  
  
  
  

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  Sep 03, 2012 10:52 PM GMT

  Well jokes on y'all. I never categorized either activity into a gender role...never once did I say one was masculine and the other wasn't. I merely stated it was my experience that guys who prefer doing one do not tend to do the other.
  
  I guess y'all aren't much different than those y'all point fingers at.
  
  
  
  

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• HottJoe
  
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  Sep 03, 2012 11:01 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidWell jokes on y'all. I never categorized either activity into a gender role...never once did I say one was masculine and the other wasn't. I merely stated it was my experience that guys who prefer doing one do not tend to do the other.
  
  I guess y'all aren't much different than those y'all point fingers at.
  
  
  
  

  
  
  SNAP

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  Sep 03, 2012 11:06 PM GMT

  tomkeelingrocks saidSo, I have just joined this site and it seems great.....but........
  
  .........when I keep checking out people's profiles an keep being met with 'no femmy guys'....'only fancy straight-acting guys'.....I think 'fair enough', but also, 'What the FUCK?'
  
  Us 'inbetweeners'...who are as strong, tough, active, charming and well-endowed as the 'masculine' guys but who can drop to the splits and enjoy a showtune and jazzpant....end up evaluating their own masculinity.
  
  You know......being muscular or having a deep voice or a swagger or a baseball cap and tattoos...doesn't make you masculine. Even a combination of them all doesn't. I could have all those things and act very 'masculine' but it would be an act...even if I did it really well.
  
  My point is.......why is this such a big deal, and seems to be the main thing people want/are looking for? It would be great to see people wanting balanced, connected, active men as opposed to 'masculine'....it all feels a little........ummm......homophobic?
  
  Probably talking bollocks, just sharing my early observations.
  
  Ta.

  Pfft...those are the kind of guys I like to hookup with.
  
  Then after sexing them, let my bitchy fem side come out and scare them away.

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  Sep 03, 2012 11:13 PM GMT

  tomkeelingrocks saidSo, I have just joined this site and it seems great.....but........
  
  .........when I keep checking out people's profiles an keep being met with 'no femmy guys'....'only fancy straight-acting guys'.....I think 'fair enough', but also, 'What the FUCK?'
  
  Us 'inbetweeners'...who are as strong, tough, active, charming and well-endowed as the 'masculine' guys but who can drop to the splits and enjoy a showtune and jazzpant....end up evaluating their own masculinity.
  
  You know......being muscular or having a deep voice or a swagger or a baseball cap and tattoos...doesn't make you masculine. Even a combination of them all doesn't. I could have all those things and act very 'masculine' but it would be an act...even if I did it really well.
  
  My point is.......why is this such a big deal, and seems to be the main thing people want/are looking for? It would be great to see people wanting balanced, connected, active men as opposed to 'masculine'....it all feels a little........ummm......homophobic?
  
  Probably talking bollocks, just sharing my early observations.
  
  Ta.

  
  
  Haha, I feel your pain. I'm not really a strong example of one side or another. Sure, I enjoy dancing, being goofy, and silly but I enjoy doing things that keep me active, tough, and ahead as well (e.g. martial arts, exercising frequently, etc.). I have a fairly deep voice (though most people would never know it) but I think it also depends on my mood. If I'm being silly and gregarious, it becomes a bit lighter. If I'm a bit more rolled back, it drops a few octaves. It especially drops though when I've had an alcoholic beverage or not enough to sleep. ;D
  
  MY point is... I don't know and I don't care what the hell they think. I am my own person. I don't have a tattoos, piercings, where jock straps, drive around in muscle cars, wear my baseball cap backwards like some frat dumbass, or what have you. Honestly though, do these things matter? If a person is more intrigued in the idea behind what a person would be having these things, they're no good for me because I keep shit real.
  
  Honestly, I find these guys stupid because they're drawn in by the "tough guise" act. They don't care about you. They just want you to be their dominator or your bitch bottom boy.
  
  I ain't going to play no stupid ass role. They want themselves an actor, they're barkin' up the wrong, tree-- ya know what I mean? I'm not in character, I'm in real form and I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

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  Sep 04, 2012 12:14 AM GMT

  Don't worry about it. It just shows you that someone can be gay and homophobic.
  It could have to do with the guys being really insecure about what some strangers might think, you know a really "masculine" attitude.
  
  If you hang around for a while, you'll see the same "straight-acting" guys post thread after thread about falling in love with their straight friends. There's all kinds of healthy mature behavior around here.

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• synestheticxs...
  
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  Sep 04, 2012 12:49 AM GMT

  tomkeelingrocks saidSo, I have just joined this site and it seems great.....but........
  
  .........when I keep checking out people's profiles an keep being met with 'no femmy guys'....'only fancy straight-acting guys'.....I think 'fair enough', but also, 'What the FUCK?'
  
  Us 'inbetweeners'...who are as strong, tough, active, charming and well-endowed as the 'masculine' guys but who can drop to the splits and enjoy a showtune and jazzpant....end up evaluating their own masculinity.
  
  You know......being muscular or having a deep voice or a swagger or a baseball cap and tattoos...doesn't make you masculine. Even a combination of them all doesn't. I could have all those things and act very 'masculine' but it would be an act...even if I did it really well.
  
  My point is.......why is this such a big deal, and seems to be the main thing people want/are looking for? It would be great to see people wanting balanced, connected, active men as opposed to 'masculine'....it all feels a little........ummm......homophobic?
  
  Probably talking bollocks, just sharing my early observations.
  
  Ta.

  
  
  Fuck those twatcopters. Be who and what you are and love who you love, do how you do. Everywhere you go, there's gonna' be douchebags; those are ours.

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  Sep 04, 2012 5:05 AM GMT

  My Definition of Masculine
  
  Boring, incapable of saying anything even remotely interesting, talks in few words because he has nothing to say because nothing much is even going up on there in what is considered to be a brain. Terrible in the sack, even worse in the kitchen, can't really do anything emotionally interesting except whine irritatingly about some boring arse shit and spends most of his day doing some low paying menial job and drinks beer at night with his buddies who talk about the most boring shit ever.
  
  Well that's just my experience growing up around "masculine men"
  
  Now I'll put away my very large brush.
  
  I do find it funny that some gay guys wear "masc" as a badge of honor, like people are looking at him like they want to be him hahaha

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  Sep 04, 2012 9:42 PM GMT

  lilTanker saidMy Definition of Masculine
  
  Boring, incapable of saying anything even remotely interesting, talks in few words because he has nothing to say because nothing much is even going up on there in what is considered to be a brain. Terrible in the sack, even worse in the kitchen, can't really do anything emotionally interesting except whine irritatingly about some boring arse shit and spends most of his day doing some low paying menial job and drinks beer at night with his buddies who talk about the most boring shit ever.
  
  Well that's just my experience growing up around "masculine men"
  
  Now I'll put away my very large brush.
  
  I do find it funny that some gay guys wear "masc" as a badge of honor, like people are looking at him like they want to be him hahaha

  
  
  Bravo !!!! Applause!!! + 100

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  Sep 04, 2012 9:46 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidWhy worry about it? "Masculine" is subjective anyways.
  
  I've just found in my experience that guys who like to spend 4 hours on the river fishing, do not enjoy spending 4 hours doing showtunes.
  
  

  
  
  But why are fishing and showtunes different? And, how on earth could you know that?
  
  I don't want to 'attack' anyone who wants to be with 'masculine' men....I would just like to see a movement towards the stuff beyond gender......
  
  

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  Sep 04, 2012 9:48 PM GMT

  Pfft...those are the kind of guys I like to hookup with.
  
  Then after sexing them, let my bitchy fem side come out and scare them away. [/quote]
  
  
  PAHAHA! Love it.

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