Mind games

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    Sep 04, 2012 6:26 AM GMT
    Mind games - I'm sure we've all played them. Are they really necessary?

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    Sep 04, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    justtheme saidMind games - I'm sure we've all played them. Are they really necessary?



    Lmao. Seriously. icon_smile.gif Although I really don't care what we do, honestly, as long as we're doing it together. If a person wants me to decide, I can, but they better be comfortable doing what I want to do then. icon_biggrin.gif Still, a lot of the video highlights seems pretty close to home. icon_smile.gif

    Lesson learned!

    Speed dating... if you're doing it, you're doing it wrong.
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    Sep 04, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    I found this video more depressing than funny
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    Sep 04, 2012 11:13 PM GMT
    Yeah, I agree. This depressed me. Mainly b/c it's kinda true.
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    Alright! My question was whether the games are necessary - although I think you already answered icon_smile.gif

    Personally, I think they're not. I'd rather be straight-forward, genuine and really take the time to know the person rather than play by conventions and show the 'better' side of me. Being honest and vulnerable can open the door to getting hurt, but it's also the only way to take risks and eventually find a genuine true love.

    Thoughts?
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    That guy was cute and a pretty good actor.
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    Sep 05, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    S34n05 saidThat guy was cute and a pretty good actor.


    True.
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    Sep 05, 2012 3:02 AM GMT
    justtheme saidAlright! My question was whether the games are necessary - although I think you already answered icon_smile.gif

    Personally, I think they're not. I'd rather be straight-forward, genuine and really take the time to know the person rather than play by conventions and show the 'better' side of me. Being honest and vulnerable can open the door to getting hurt, but it's also the only way to take risks and eventually find a genuine true love.

    Thoughts?


    It's honestly something I've begun to do more and more. In the past, I would get so scared and try to put out my best (like the couple does above) and try and seem "open-minded, relaxed, interesting" but really I was just doing whatever everyone else was doing-- not being honest and true to themselves AND their partner! Sure, I'm not going to open up and talk about my whole entire life history with the person on the first date but I do believe it is (more and more as I grow older) important to just put best foot forward and be yourself. Embrace the moment and don't be afraid to get a bit whimsy. The very worst that could happen is you don't get the guy you want. Whoopity doo. However, I think if a person can't handle you in your most honest state of being, they likely won't be able to deal with any other part of you later in the future (I speak from bittersweet experience :/).

    I think people are far too preoccupied with the idea of being with someone that they're willing to do ANYTHING to be with another human being again-- even if it means selling themselves short and fabricating/stretching some aspects of themselves. Saddening, really. icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:15 PM GMT
    justtheme saidAlright! My question was whether the games are necessary - although I think you already answered icon_smile.gif

    Personally, I think they're not. I'd rather be straight-forward, genuine and really take the time to know the person rather than play by conventions and show the 'better' side of me. Being honest and vulnerable can open the door to getting hurt, but it's also the only way to take risks and eventually find a genuine true love.

    Thoughts?


    I don't know , it's a lot more complicated than it sounds. I think there definitely should be a little mystery , because without it , going out on a date would have no purpose. We'd all be like " let's have sex and get it over with" .
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    Sep 07, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    Games are for kids.
  • squally

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    Oct 08, 2012 8:17 AM GMT
    The video is cute and it gets the point across that dating is a very complicated and awkward thing for both parties (the person asking and the person being asked). "Be yourself" is probably the must overused advice anyone had said to me, but to follow through with that advice is actually pretty darn hard.

    Over the years I learned the following things:
    - Having sex/or anything too physical on the first date or meet up is a really bad idea (I know there are people out there that don't think so - personally opinion)
    - Having too much alcohol on the first date or meet up is a really bad idea
    - Talking about your past relationships (It seems quite obvious, but it's quite funny when it happens to you)
    - Asking for a kiss could be kind of awkward when the other person don't want to
    - On your first date if it's raining out, do not suggest going over to their place for tea or coffee. It's code for sex~
    - Do not at any given moment say "look at those guys, they're are pretty hot, lets see if we can get them naked".
    - Personally I don't like movies. Too quiet and not enough interaction

    Overall I learned all these things because I met different types of people. Being yourself is very important to developing a connection, whether it's only for sex, relationship, friendship or for "it's complicated pal", but the truth is there's a need for (in my personal opinion) - balance. Allowing both parties to share they're thoughts and to feel comfortable to some degree to be transparent is key to authentic communication. Looking back at all my relationships that I personally care about are actually the ones I was most honest and "real" about who I am.

    So in short if who you are is playing mind games, then go ahead - play the love game~
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    Oct 08, 2012 8:42 AM GMT

    I feel totally mantle about it! dizzy dizzy dizzy... * it could be perfect without her.