Rape in the Gay Community

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    Sep 04, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    I don't think this has ever been discussed but rape does happen in the gay community . How would one define rape between two men, and why is it so less reported amongst gay men?

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    Sep 04, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    Probably because its so easy to get some we dont have to rape. Just sayin
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    Sep 04, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Uh well, rape happens to straight men too. But I'd say any unwanted sexual advances without consent between men can constitute as sexual assault or rape.

    In general, men are a lot less likely to report rape than women. I think a lot of male victims (of all sexual orientations) are afraid that a rape somehow diminishes their masculinity.
  • AMoonHawk

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    Sep 04, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    Ruffies icon_evil.gif
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    Sep 04, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    blactor saidI don't think this has ever been discussed but rape does happen in the gay community . How would one define rape between two men, and why is it so less reported amongst gay men?



    Rape, as I was told, is when a partner lacks consent from the other to perform sexual activities to him/her. It does not matter if the person may have agreed to having sex. If the person tells his partner to STOP or NO, that's it. The consent is broken and the other person no longer has the right to do anything sexually with the other person.

    It is still rape even if they agree to have mutual masturbation and the partner decides he wants "more" and either attempts or has sex with the partner-- regardless of what position (e.g. top/bottom). The bottom line is both partners have to agree to it and if one person decides to change their mind, the other person must respect that.

  • AMoonHawk

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    Sep 04, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    blactor saidI don't think this has ever been discussed but rape does happen in the gay community . How would one define rape between two men, and why is it so less reported amongst gay men?



    Rape, as I was told, is when a partner lacks consent from the other to perform sexual activities to him/her. It does not matter if the person may have agreed to having sex. If the person tells his partner to STOP or NO, that's it. The consent is broken and the other person no longer has the right to do anything sexually with the other person.

    It is still rape even if they agree to have mutual masturbation and the partner decides he wants "more" and either attempts or has sex with the partner-- regardless of what position (e.g. top/bottom). The bottom line is both partners have to agree to it and if one person decides to change their mind, the other person must respect that.


    It is also rape if someone passes out from to much alcohol (and drugs or ruffies) and the someone has sex with them without their knowledge
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    all gays are bottoms...how can they rape each other?icon_confused.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Sep 04, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    my deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 04, 2012 10:34 PM GMT
    Import saidmy deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif


    *Sigh* It's not pleasant, trust me.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Sep 04, 2012 10:36 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    Import saidmy deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif


    *Sigh* It's not pleasant, trust me.


    I sleep naked, just in case a rapist breaks into my house and wants to rape my sweet little ass. icon_wink.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 04, 2012 10:39 PM GMT
    Import said
    ParadiseLost said
    Import saidmy deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif


    *Sigh* It's not pleasant, trust me.


    I sleep naked, just in case a rapist breaks into my house and wants to rape my sweet little ass. icon_wink.gif

    Well ... just in case one does, maybe you should sleep with a female condom on ... because you never know if he'll even bother putting one on ... and you better hope he doesn't get off on inserting blunt (or sharp) objects in your ass ... there are way too my psycho's out there to willingly just trust everyone
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    GonzoTheGreat saidthe confusion comes when boys ask you to rape them. No, BEG you. Then as soon as you do it they say NO NO, but if you stop and say "you K babe" they say "yeah, of course, why did you stop?".

    SO confusing. Safe word is McDonalds K?


    You cannot be "asked" to be rape. Rape is something that happens when a person is unwillingly approached or acted upon sexually by another person. I know some people have roleplaying fantasies of being raped but it's not the same thing? You're just acting. You can choose to stop and plan for it. "Rape" is not planned for. It happens without your consent and approval, period.
  • Import

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    Sep 04, 2012 10:51 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    Import said
    ParadiseLost said
    Import saidmy deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif


    *Sigh* It's not pleasant, trust me.


    I sleep naked, just in case a rapist breaks into my house and wants to rape my sweet little ass. icon_wink.gif

    Well ... just in case one does, maybe you should sleep with a female condom on ... because you never know if he'll even bother putting one on ... and you better hope he doesn't get off on inserting blunt (or sharp) objects in your ass ... there are way too my psycho's out there to willingly just trust everyone


    I can't help that I wanna be raped. I was born this way.
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    Sep 04, 2012 10:52 PM GMT
    Import said
    AMoonHawk said
    Import said
    ParadiseLost said
    Import saidmy deepest darkest fantasy is to be raped icon_neutral.gif


    *Sigh* It's not pleasant, trust me.


    I sleep naked, just in case a rapist breaks into my house and wants to rape my sweet little ass. icon_wink.gif

    Well ... just in case one does, maybe you should sleep with a female condom on ... because you never know if he'll even bother putting one on ... and you better hope he doesn't get off on inserting blunt (or sharp) objects in your ass ... there are way too my psycho's out there to willingly just trust everyone


    I can't help that I wanna be raped. I was born this way.


    Wow. Okay.
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    Sep 04, 2012 11:27 PM GMT
    Very sad that I was addressing a real issue and there are some morons on here who have to trivialise it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    blactor saidVery sad that I was addressing a real issue and there are some morons on here who have to trivialise it.


    Agreed.
  • BmwKid92

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    Sep 04, 2012 11:39 PM GMT
    lol @ import
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said...The bottom line is both partners have to agree to it and if one person decides to change their mind, the other person must respect that.


    Precisely as I told the guy: "Look, just because I had sex with you once doesn't mean I'd have sex with you again. I have my standards."
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    Sep 04, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    Crank_Eastwood said... there is a presumption that a man should be strong enough to fend off a rapist. So if he is penetrated, he must have wanted it, the slut.

    Same thing they use against women, which is why gay men's issues and women's issues are inextricably linked. It all stems from the straight male whose dominance is threatened by independent women and by men who refuse to play their part in the 'natural order of things.'

    Which is really the source of their claim that our marriages will destroy theirs.


    Not sure what you are saying here: that a male being penetrated is the source of their claim that our marriages will destroy theirs? Your clarification please.
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    Fuck this thread, I'm logging off
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:20 AM GMT
    The most widely accepted perception of rape is an image of a woman being physically overpowered by a man while he invades her sexually against her will. I think there are some gray shades when talking about rape in the gay community. I got roofied by my couch surfing host a year ago, and while it was happening I wasn't aware that I was roofied (I just thought I was REALLY drunk..despite having had only a drink and a half). No penetration occurred, and I wasn't really "forced" to do anything I just sort of let it happen without resistance. If someone had seen us they would have literally just thought they were seeing two consenting adults engaging in intimate play.

    It's the next morning when it hit me like a ton of bricks in the pit of my stomach. What the hell had happened, and WHY had I let it happen when it was clearly not something I wanted to have happened. I definitely felt a violation. Not in the physical act but in him having put something in my drink that heavily altered my state of mind. So yeah I consider that a form of rape.
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:28 AM GMT
    Rape is most likely as common among gays as it is of straights. It's not like we hear about women rapists that often; it's man against woman or man against man. Look what goes on in prisons. Many women are embarrassed to come forward when raped, and gay men probably even more so because a man is supposed to be masculine and able to defend himself. A woman has to deal with a possible pregnancy, and any victim--male or female--could contract an STD and live with longstanding trauma, PTSD. But there are many gay men who rape or get raped regularly and consider it part of their regular sexual behavior.
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Draper saidRape is most likely as common among gays as it is of straights. It's not like we hear about women rapists that often; it's man against woman or man against man. Look what goes on in prisons. Many women are embarrassed to come forward when raped, and gay men probably even more so because a man is supposed to be masculine and able to defend himself. A woman has to deal with a possible pregnancy, and any victim--male or female--could contract an STD and live with longstanding trauma, PTSD. But there are many gay men who rape or get raped regularly and consider it part of their regular sexual behavior.


    ...Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it.

    And angry.
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    Sep 05, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Ariodante said I definitely felt a violation. Not in the physical act but in him having put something in my drink that heavily altered my state of mind. So yeah I consider that a form of rape.


    did you report this to the police?
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Sep 05, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    True story.No Troll. So a white friend of mine told me that 10 years ago he invited a black guy over to his hotel for some fun. But the guy was about 10 lbs over weight from his profile picture so when the guy got there my friend kind of turned him away. The black guy started to get violent with him, told him to "give up that ass" flipped him over and forcefully raped him then left. My white friend has only dated/fucked black guys since. Honestly...He told me that incident really turned him on to black guys. Don't know why, it just did. His embarrasment turned to attraction.

    This post sort of reminded me of that story. Sorry if its irrelevant.