Daddy Issues

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    So yeah, I've got 'em Big whoop wanna fight about it?

    Paddy-Tanniger-Family-Guy.jpg


    But in all seriousness, Its a problem a lot of guys have and especially in the gay community it seems like guys who have them are treated like pariahs. It seems like any time someone younger likes an older guy or a guy whose physical appearance is that of someone larger, more muscular, etc. they are pegged as having "Daddy Issues" and then dismissed, like a defective car or that weird prank gift your friend gives you that you try to avoid talking about.

    Guys with "Daddy Issues" need love too, maybe moreso than the ones whose parents DIDN'T fuck with their emotional balance as children. Give us a chance! The worst we can do is love you TOO much icon_rolleyes.gif


    aaaaaaaaaand...DISCUSS!! *starter pistol*
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    Sep 05, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    And here I thought us old farts were considered the pariahs. I've never heard this perspective!
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 05, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    A handful of my friends prefer significantly older men. No big deal. The only thing I'd ever worry about is if a really young person were being emotionally manipulated by a much older person. But hey, as far as I'm concerned, if you're old enough to get into a bar, you're old enough to handle yourself, so go for whatever you want.

    I don't think it has anything to with parenting. Just like the top/bottom dynamic, some of us seek older men to nurture us, some of us prefer to do the nurturing, and some of us can appreciate both.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Sep 05, 2012 9:43 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 10:32 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidA handful of my friends prefer significantly older men. No big deal. The only thing I'd ever worry about is if a really young person were being emotionally manipulated by a much older person. But hey, as far as I'm concerned, if you're old enough to get into a bar, you're old enough to handle yourself, so go for whatever you want.

    I don't think it has anything to with parenting. Just like the top/bottom dynamic, some of us seek older men to nurture us, some of us prefer to do the nurturing, and some of us can appreciate both.


    Emotional manipulation, good or bad, is part of every relationship and a younger man could just as easily, probably more easily, do it to the older man, using his looks, personality, etc.

    I totally agree with your second paragraph. Wanting an actual daddy has little to do with it, I think.

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    Sep 05, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidAnd here I thought us old farts were considered the pariahs. I've never heard this perspective!


    Me, too.

    Thanks, OP, for the insight!!
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    Sep 05, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    FuriousGeorge saidA handful of my friends prefer significantly older men. No big deal. The only thing I'd ever worry about is if a really young person were being emotionally manipulated by a much older person. But hey, as far as I'm concerned, if you're old enough to get into a bar, you're old enough to handle yourself, so go for whatever you want.

    I don't think it has anything to with parenting. Just like the top/bottom dynamic, some of us seek older men to nurture us, some of us prefer to do the nurturing, and some of us can appreciate both.


    THIS ^^^
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    Sep 05, 2012 11:35 AM GMT
    Ive had a few younger mates tell me they get picked on for liking older guys. I dont see any problem with it, plenty of my friends have significantly older partners straight and gay.

    what i find interesting atm is one minute im a son, for my older fuck buddies the next im the daddy for my younger fuck budds, now that's an issue

    Im confused
  • RJR201NJ

    Posts: 9

    Sep 05, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    I have been dating a much younger man (21 years to be exact) for the past 6 months. I was flabbergasted that he contacted me and thought "he must be joking" but his feelings for me are real and he doesn't treat me like a "Daddy" but as an equal. I am somewhat relieved because I am not much into role playing. Although I do look a lot younger than my age, I do worry that others will think I am his Dad or his peers will tease him about it.
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    Sep 05, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    so funny. i'm 43 and recently single. i keep getting hit on by younger guys - e.g. 23, 26, 28, 30. no idea how to take it, but its hot. for both, it can be a huge confidence boost and sexually amazing to share energy, vitality, and experience.

    i feel that culturally we're very different in terms of life outlook, generational reference points (e.g. tv, movies, music, political events, etc), and life accomplishments. but thats to be expected.

    i have no problem with "intergenerational" couples - whatever works, right? its hard to find happiness in this world, so more power to you. if you two get along on a deeper level, thats fantastic.

    i would worry about the future though, when the older guy gets much older and is slowing down, and the younger guy is peaking. would it be too stressful on the relationship? would there be some resentment - e.g. the younger guy feeling held back, the older guy feeling like he can't keep up. i guess it could work if the older guy is very youthful, and the younger guy is unusually mature for his age.
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    Sep 05, 2012 11:57 AM GMT
    Hey Kingmo
    a couple I know are going through this now, he's 86 and she is 58. I just checked Facebook and there she is with him in hospital looking after him.
    they are in love, its really sweet, and nothing else matters to them. They have a great support group on the island and no one ever thought anything strange when all those years ago they fell in love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    I generally dig older men as they have more settled views in life and are lot more relaxed.
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:25 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidAnd here I thought us old farts were considered the pariahs. I've never heard this perspective!


    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    northoz saidIve had a few younger mates tell me they get picked on for liking older guys. I dont see any problem with it, plenty of my friends have significantly older partners straight and gay.

    what i find interesting atm is one minute im a son, for my older fuck buddies the next im the daddy for my younger fuck budds, now that's an issue

    Im confused


    How many fuck buddies do you have? And that "one minute to the next" idiomatic expression heavily implies you really do get busy.

    You better be careful or you're going to start coming off as a bit of a hussy-floozy-trollop in the forums. M'kay icon_question.gificon_question.gif


    Lol not that many and they are spread out around the country.
    Maybe my analogy was a little simplistic, lets say instead one week to the next? hows that?

    As for being a floozy eh, nothing new in thaticon_wink.gif
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:33 PM GMT
    How come no one is making references to.."Mommy Issues"...
    The overbearing mom that stunts the sexual development of her son!..
    I think there are as many gay guys with mommy issues as much as daddy issues!.. icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidHow come no one is making references to.."Mommy Issues"...
    The overbearing mom that stunts the sexual development of her son!..
    I think there are as many gay guys with mommy issues as much as daddy issues!.. icon_confused.gif


    I smell another thread coming onicon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 2:43 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidHow come no one is making references to.."Mommy Issues"...
    The overbearing mom that stunts the sexual development of her son!..
    I think there are as many gay guys with mommy issues as much as daddy issues!.. icon_confused.gif


    I have Mammy issues. Gone With The Wind scared me for life.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2012 3:20 PM GMT
    Wow, really? I never thought of being attracted to older men as a "problem."
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Sep 05, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidI generally dig older men as they have more settled views in life and are lot more relaxed.

    The whole settled views on life is why I don't like older men.

    However, why I do like older men is purely physical.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Sep 05, 2012 3:30 PM GMT
    Even as an older guy, I am most attracted to guys a few years older than myself who are still in great physical shape.

    That doesn't rule out younger guys, but just what I find myself drawn to at this stage in my life.
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    Sep 05, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    I think it's an incredibly healthy attitude to want someone in your life that has what you want most. Personally, I am attracted to people that remind me of others that made me happy in the past, and I think I am blessed to be that way.

    People with emotional issues may seek someone emotionally grounded. People that are bored may seek out someone that is exciting. People that are sad may seek out someone who is funny.

    When I was 20, the most important thing to me was to become someone I could be proud of. I wanted to leave a mark in the world, a trail of joy behind me. The men I sought out had that, and they were much, much older than me. And I was incredibly happy.
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    Sep 05, 2012 7:53 PM GMT
    is it such a bad thing? or is it really fucked up that because you had issue with your dad..like lack of affection you end up liking older men...? its sooo ...fucked up..
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    Sep 05, 2012 8:06 PM GMT
    Works for me as long as they are 18 and over.
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    Sep 05, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    I tend to be attracted to older guys, too. However, if a younger guy has his sh*t together (good job - better yet, A JOB, and a great head on his shoulders); isn't in the "I wanna' go out and party every night of the week" phase; AND is okay with a little quiet and quality time at home with his man, then I wouldn't have a problem with it.
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    Sep 05, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    I was 50 when I first came out and was totally shocked at the attention I received from young guys. I had so much that I sort of started doing an unofficial survey to determine how many of them had no father growing up or father issues. Surprisingly, most all of them either grew up with no father in their life, a father that moved away during the childhood years and had little contact. Some had stepfathers, but that didn't see sufficient for them.

    Interestingly enough though, both of the guys I dated, prior to my current bf who's younger but not that young, were very adamant about NOT wanting a daddy.