Automatic Attraction

  • mtorres562

    Posts: 4

    Sep 05, 2012 12:47 PM GMT
    Hello this is my first post on real jock, would like to start off with a praise to the RJ community you guys rock. Second some background info:
    I came out to everyone but my family, I'm 18 going to college living at home, 3 months ago and since then have gone on dates with 4 very different types of men. Three of the guys, I've gone on a second and even fourth date, but this post is in relation to the last guy I went out with. I have an attraction to men far older than I(30-45), I'm not opposed to guys my age but have yet to meet someone that's mature.

    Scenario: the guy is 32, he messaged me on grindr and we met up the night before he planned on moving to a city about 30 min. Away, we had established that we were not looking for sex oddly enough. The second we meet we hit it off, we fed off eachothers enthusiasm about whatever we talked about and it was like no other first encounter, so then one thing lead to another he messaged me and we end up having sex. I left feeling like never before, bummed that he was moving.
    In the two days before he contacts me again I can't stop thinking about him and I find myself every hour being brought back to his image, smiling at the thought of, like now. Anyway he gives me a ring 2 days later to tell me he's in town and would like to go out.
    We hug, catch a movie, and fool around in the movie, and cuddle. Afterwards we go to get some coffee and walk around the book store, this only makes me fall for him more as we have even more things in common and he's into things that I've been meaning to look into. I drive him back to his car and we talk for a little while before I stop him as he says he should get going we make out, stop because its getting late, start again, then stop because someone pulled up next to us, start again, then stop, and a final good bye kiss. It's been four days and we talk on Facebook and text, we have plans to meet this week.

    My issue comes here: is this something you would invest so much emotion, he's not terribly out of the way but there's the age gap, the distance, and the fact that he could just be into the physical aspect of it.
    I've never felt this way before I've always thought it funny when someone behaves the way I'm feeling for hardly knowing him, its only been a week!!!
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    Sep 05, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    live life.. quit second guessing it!
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    Sep 05, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    OP..Sounds like you are already invested up to your eyeballs...
    ..You are about to fall head over heels for this guy!..
    ,,Your concerns are "after the fact" and they truly putting you in an awkward place..!

    So what is really the problem here.. ?? His age..??The Distance??
    ..It sounds like he's treating you respectfully..You seem to like him..You two are having tons of romantic fun..So why not ride the waves a little longer before you become a victim of your own mind..??!!

    ....Like you said it's only been a week.. give it more time..!!
    Make it work Op!!
    Hugz..


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    Sep 05, 2012 5:04 PM GMT
    Go for it!!!! I'm in lust with a guy now and I WISH we had the connection you guys have. At least find out what he wants, you never know if you don't ask....
  • mtorres562

    Posts: 4

    Sep 05, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    Thanks guy all great support, I guess I just needed validation, which normally I don't look for.
    @anocxu I tend to over think, a lot but am working on becoming a ditz!
    @ jmusmc85 I want to ask him but don't want to seem overbearing, because I truly do have a good connection with him

    Thanks guys, I'll keep you posted whether you want me to or not icon_twisted.gif
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Sep 05, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    Stories like this are why I am such a hopeless romantic. I am so happy for you man, I miss that feeling it truely is priceless. I just say if he is treating you the way you should be treated then that is green flag number one. My best advice is to ask him how he feels about you. Be honest, see how he reacts, what he says, you are nervous because you think it's too good to be true (and in my case it was :c ) but if you don't learn for sure then you will always be doubtful. Best to both of you!!!
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    Sep 05, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    mtorres562 saidThanks guy all great support, I guess I just needed validation, which normally I don't look for.
    @anocxu I tend to over think, a lot but am working on becoming a ditz!
    @ jmusmc85 I want to ask him but don't want to seem overbearing, because I truly do have a good connection with him

    Thanks guys, I'll keep you posted whether you want me to or not icon_twisted.gif


    Ha! Well it seems like you are in the same boat I'm in. For me, I'm just taking it real easy. Even though I want to call and see him everyday, for now I'm just engaing in polite (and flirty) conversation with him to let him know I'm very interested in him. The waiting game SUCKS, but it must be done...
  • mtorres562

    Posts: 4

    Sep 05, 2012 8:40 PM GMT
    @Joseph: thanks man in pretty hopeless myself haha, now that is. that's exactly what it is, I'm scared its too good to be true and afraid of being affected negatively, so I get in my head.

    But like jmusmc85 said I'm playing the waiting game, it sucks but necessary
    Thanks
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    Sep 05, 2012 9:23 PM GMT
    I understand your reservations because I'm a little bit the same in the sense that if I feel that it was going to go nowhere then I wouldn't bother investing.
    Save yourself the heartache.

    Give it time I suppose but eventually I think it's going to have to come down to the talk. If he's mature he'll understand where you're coming from, then again at the same time you're 18 so he might figure you're not at the age of settling down.

    This is all speculation, it really will come down to a talk.
    Wish you all the best mate.