When he's hotter in real life than his pictures would suggest. Aaaaargh!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 7:05 AM GMT
    And you've rejected them on-line. Then you see them in some bar and you realise they're just not photogenic or their pictures were rubbish. Sometimes this internet dating hook-up thing is so frustrating. aaaaaaargh! Why am I so shallow? (Don't answer that question).
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Aug 17, 2007 10:29 AM GMT
    LOL .... I've always had it go the other way round
    I'd be thinkin' "Dude...I hope you paid your photographer well because he did wonders"
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    Aug 17, 2007 1:16 PM GMT
    i am completely not photogenic. i hate taking photos, i always look...i dunno ugly? but in person like at bars, i get hit on often.
  • gymingit

    Posts: 156

    Aug 17, 2007 1:25 PM GMT
    YEP, I'm with guitar on this one. Noone in my family takes great pictures. My entire family looks waaaaay better in person than we do in pictures.

    And yes redheadguy... been there when I was younger and so I now meet on the basis of personality and hoping they look better in person...lol Sometimes not, but after sitting and talking with them a while I begin to see endearing qualities in their looks when they have the personality to match.

    I love people.

  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Aug 17, 2007 2:35 PM GMT
    Guitar, you are so right. I have only one pic of myself up 'cuz I do not photograph well at all. That would explain why my page doesn't get much traffic. However, in person, if may be so immodest, I have to fight women off with a club, which annoys my boyfriend greatly. Don't get hit on much by men, since this is a small town with no gay social network.
  • thorn27

    Posts: 214

    Aug 17, 2007 2:51 PM GMT
    pictures ai
    i hate taking em, just never look good in them i feel
    sure i can have a great shot taken of me, but usualy if and when i,m not aware of the camera

    same goes for a lot of guys you meet in the chat room on RJ some are nowhere close to their profile pic (for better or worse)
    makes ya wonder if its the cam that does it
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 17, 2007 3:05 PM GMT
    Mostly its not that people are "unphotogenic" but rather that they don't know how to take pictures of themselves.

    Some basic tricks with the camera and your posture can do wonders for accurately representing yourself and not making you look fatter than you are or wierdly proportioned.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Aug 17, 2007 3:11 PM GMT
    I think I take great pictures... but one of my gay friends told me just the other day that I was WAYYYYYY cuter in person... now it makes me wonder if the pictures I take are really that great. LOL!
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:14 PM GMT
    well i noticed that a few times with guys i turned down online and im like "fuck! what was i thinking" when i see them in person

    and honestly(not being cocky) i HATE taking photos i always look bloated and tired in them but when guys see me on the street or in bars their like "omg you look SOOOOO much better in person" and i get hit on quite often.

    DAMN those cameras!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:21 PM GMT
    I hate my pics... but i have a lot of them.

    HOWEVER i think i am much worse looking in real life.

    But then again. I have self esteem issues and usually think i look like a cross between a zombie and the creature from the Black Lagoon.
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:40 PM GMT
    ROFL - I can relate to this topic way too much. I've never been a fan of my own picture and definitely think I look better in person (just by virtue of the response I've gotten from guys that I consider out of my league).

    My husband, the bastard, is ridiculously photogenic AND good-looking in person. I guess I shouldn't complain since I'm the primary beneficiary. But still, most of our photos together make me cringe. I imagine people looking at them and thinking, 'Well he married up!'
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:41 PM GMT
    I've always thoroughly detested photos of myself, that is until I met my ex who was an incredible photographer, I decided to finally get over it this aversion and 'face mayself That's the reason for having so many pix on my page and why I switch them around so often in order to see myself more objectively as others would.
    I don't have this 'hang up' in person and I am often approached, hit on and flirted with in public on a nearly daily basis, most often by women. Guess I put out a different vibe when I'm not focused on my myself.

    I'm only 5 weeks young at online connections and have yet to date, or meet, anyone from this site. I hope, that when the time comes, we all look better than our profile pix!
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:45 PM GMT
    One thing I've noticed is that some guys, who are quite well-built, don't appear to have great muscle definition in still photos. But when you see them in motion, with muscles moving around under their skin..... rawwwr.
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    Aug 17, 2007 3:59 PM GMT
    great one mindgarden
  • irishboxers

    Posts: 357

    Aug 17, 2007 5:45 PM GMT
    First, let me say that I think it's very telling that most of us hate pictures of ourselves for one reason or another. Either it's a universally critical body image gay men have, or we want to look like those models who always look starved. Personally, not into the emaciated look.

    Second, I'm just as guilty as anyone. In the past year I've made a lot of progress at the gym, trimming away most of the blubber and replacing it with muscle. Not that the camera would know. In recent pictures I can barely see a change, but in person it's significant.

    Yes, we're superficial pigs that judge by the photos in a profile. I'm guilty here as well. But maybe the moral of the story is to not judge and reject?

    That, or we all need to take photography lessons from DiverScience, since he looks hot in all of his photos. :-)
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    Aug 17, 2007 6:27 PM GMT
    Yes, he does. I also wonder if he'll reveal the secrets of taking good auto-portraits with one's feet. I've been curious about that. hmmm.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 6:31 PM GMT
    It's a bit off topic but here goes:

    You see what I find interesting about all this is the opionion we have of ourselves.

    Before the internet came along I was under the impression that I was not particularly goodlooking. Even now, I can go to bars and not be hit on and a few years ago it never occurred to me that maybe guys were backward in coming forward, if you know what I mean.

    However, since putting pictures of myself online - some that I've taken myself and others by a friend - I've realised that actually I'm quite good looking and that there are plenty of men who like the way I look and want to get jiggy with me.

    Obviously, I'm not complaining but I wish I'd known this 20 years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 6:38 PM GMT
    as is said, "hindsight is 20/20"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 6:38 PM GMT
    I tell people, you might as well love yourself now, because chances are, you'll mean it later...
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 17, 2007 7:29 PM GMT
    Three tips for starters.

    1: Put down the fucking camera.

    Arm length photos are stupid. They put your face at bizarre angles and are more likely to be blurry from hand motion. Most cameras, both film and digital, have a timer on them. Use it. Love it. It will allow you to stand more naturally and gives you greater room for positioning error, all while reducing blur.

    2: The flash is your enemy, not your friend.

    Most on-camera flashes suck. Largely they are unused by professional photographers. They suck the color out of you at best, and at worst they copmpletely obliterate all that lovely definition you've been working on by lighting up all your muscular nooks and crannies with a floodlight. Directional light is your friend. Take a couple pics in different places under and overhead light or with a gooseneck lamp pointed at your side, watch how those abs no one can see in your photos suddenly pop out! WOW!

    3: Angles angles angles!

    Do not, do not, do NOT stand absolutely square to the camera. Do something to set off the angles. Turn a little, twist your hips, do a half profile, whatever. Standing square to the camera gives the viewer a look exactly at all your widest points. It accentuates how your body droops rather than how your body looks being dynamic. Like someone above mentioned, you want photos of your muscles in motion. Twists and bends accomplish this.

    Oh, and one more 'cause I'm feeling generous.

    DO NOT PUFF UP YOUR CHEST. EXHALE when you take your photos. Inhaling causes loss of definition through your entire torso and lifts your shoulders, removing your neck and narrowing your profile. Exhale.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 7:35 PM GMT

    I dunno that any of us REALLY feel we are particularly good looking.

    I mean, im honesly a stripper because i can dance and i am bendy and can twist myself up into all sorts of positions that i guess spark the imginations of drunk gay men with a few extra singles in their pocket.

    HOWEVER let me say that i never get hit on when i just go out and am covered head to toe in clothing. People who, the night before, were rubbing all over my chest stomach and butt and putting money in my underwear, don't even recognize me with clothes on.

    It's a totaly mind fuck it is... LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 7:47 PM GMT
    Yet another tip: Hire a friggin' photographer! You'd be amazed at how much "better" you look if you're able to find a really good photographer (and I am a photographer, but I still hate taking photos of myself, so I finally broke down and hired a friend of mine. He was OK, but the photos I take of men are better LOL You can check out samples of my work at www.GreatExposures.net) Alright, regardless if you hire me or not, a professional photographer in your area can really do wonders (for your ego, as well as how "photogenic" you think you are). Then again, I have photographed some ugly, UGLY ass people in my career, and I hate to say it, but there is only so much a camera can do (a few lesbian weddings come to mind LOL). But even with them, I'm always amazed at how much better they end up looking with the right camera angles and lighting.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Aug 17, 2007 7:58 PM GMT
    Having someone else photograph you really can work wonders. My self shot pictures in my profile are a bit weak here (though about as good of ones as I can take), but the ones a friend with a photography hobby shot are a lot better, and I wasn't even consciously exhaling or flexing anything. There's something to be said for taking a lot of pictures and being able to choose the nice ones. It still results in people being weird, though; the other day a guy saw what I have as my main profile picture here on a different site and told me I look like I'm 50 and should stop trying to tell people I'm 26.

    And, for what it's worth, I'm also one of those people routinely told that I'm better looking in person than I am in my pictures. Honestly, I find that to be a compliment. And, at the least, it's nice to be able to hold onto that thought when a guy rejects me online--let him eat his heart out if we run into each other in person.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Aug 17, 2007 8:08 PM GMT

    If you pay for photos, make sure they're worth it. You are not guaranteed good photographs simply because you pay for them.

    Also, paid for photos aren't going to give you good "candids" of you out on a mountaintop or remodeling your house.

    Whether you pay for photographs or not, learning to pose for and take your own self shots is a worthwhile endeavor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 17, 2007 8:16 PM GMT
    "learning to pose for and take your own self shots is a worthwhile endeavor"

    AMEN to that! ;)