Does it realy get better?

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    Sep 06, 2012 6:08 AM GMT
    Hallo, ive been whatching these "it gets better" videos on youtube and i personaly think its a bunch of BS, im 25 and i know people think its young, with all the stuff that has happened to me i think i have enough life experience to know it doesnt get better, ive been waiting my whole life for it to get better. I dont have real friends or family who cares so nothing realy matters, so does it realy get better ? If it doesnt i wana end it now and spare myself years of waiting
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    Sep 06, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    You owe it to yourself to keep living on. You CANNOT end it now! You may not realize just who it is that, in fact, cares about you. There's something out there, there are so many things you must live for. If not for the sake of the people you know or love, then live for the inherent beauties of the world. Live for the puppies and kittens everywhere who will love you unconditionally and perfectly. Live to eat another strip of bacon or a scoop of neapolitan-flavor ice cream. Life is hard. Very much so. And it is very long. So you must make it count for something. If you have the smarts, become a scientist or a doctor and help the world find a cure for cancer or HIV. You might just be the one who will find that cure!
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    Sep 06, 2012 7:39 AM GMT
    Nothing automatically improves or fixes itself in your favor. It's up to you to make your life rewarding and find happiness.
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    Sep 06, 2012 7:49 AM GMT
    It really does. Everything is really temprary and as long as you keep on moving, you will have windows of more light and there will be more darkness. But when there is light, embrace it. When you find someone who listens to you... orr a moment of joy, you can further that to get you to next the step. It sounds sooo cliche that it is indeed easy to write it off but don't. I've been in some dark corners myself.. and thought that i would not make it.. i've know other who have to, who have either found it too much to bare and killed themselves or those who found something to cling on to and they are still here. And the fact that they are still here propels them to move on.

    It's important to remember that the only power you really have is the fact that you are concious, living and breathing right now. And If you cave, you can't do anything when you are dead. You have closed the trap door that will never open. However there is always another moment and another day where something can happen as opposed to nothing. So find people who have similar stories online... whatever you are going through just reach out, ignore the closed doors and walked through open ones and hang on and give yourself the benefit of another day of something happening. Hope is good. There is always hope. And it will get better.

    and most importantly congratulate yourself once you've made it through something tense.

    a good friend of mine said something to me when i was younger:

    Everything is going to end up just fine but it's all got to go straight to shit first.

    It true..
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    Sep 06, 2012 8:25 AM GMT
    lol,op sound so bitter,there is no free lunch in this world,if u want success,u have to work harder,if u need frens,go out and meet new ppls,and if u wanna get laid so bad,go grindr or craglist or adam meet adam,this is easy.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:15 AM GMT
    OP..How about this.. Instead of waiting for things to improve...How about dedicating more time to ensure they do!!...
    ..A long time ago i was in your shoes and i literally had to grab life by the balls and change every single detail i could..!

    Now it would be so nice of you to give us some more details about what you are experiencing.. !?!

    How about this ..Tell us 5 things .. you wish you could change about your life !
    Or in detail..the things that are making you unhappy..??

    It does get better.. BiG Teddy Bear Hugz!.. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 06, 2012 10:50 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidOP..How about this.. Instead of waiting for things to improve...How about dedicating more time to ensure they do!!...
    ..A long time ago i was in your shoes and i literally had to grab life by the balls and change every single detail i could..!

    Now it would be so nice of you to give us some more details about what you are experiencing.. !?!

    How about this ..Tell us 5 things .. you wish you could change about your life !
    Or in detail..the things that are making you unhappy..??

    It does get better.. BiG Teddy Bear Hugz!.. icon_biggrin.gif


    Listen to this man he is wise.

    Look its life, some days are great, some aren't, some are neither good nor bad
    It sounds cliche but it is what YOU make of it.

    Dont spend your life waiting for someone or thing to make it better. There are so many middle aged guys where I live that have done that and by that age it doesnt get better. Start now, make friends here if you have to there are some great men on RJ
  • ataru13

    Posts: 87

    Sep 06, 2012 11:15 AM GMT
    You're the one who has to make it better.
    If you don't have real friends, try joining some gay sports club, or any type of clubs you're interested in.
    That way you'll get to meet people like you, with the same interests.

    Take one day at a time, and just focus on the good things.
    Bad things happens to all of us, but how much a deal we make of them, is what makes the difference about someone happy and someone miserable.

    But the most important thing is: DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

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    Sep 06, 2012 11:48 AM GMT
    PTADUDE87 saidHallo, ive been whatching these "it gets better" videos on youtube and i personaly think its a bunch of BS, im 25 and i know people think its young, with all the stuff that has happened to me i think i have enough life experience to know it doesnt get better, ive been waiting my whole life for it to get better. I dont have real friends or family who cares so nothing realy matters, so does it realy get better ? If it doesnt i wana end it now and spare myself years of waiting


    for some people it gets better
    for some it stays the same
    for some it will get worse
    it all depends on you; how you deal with the shit that life will throw you.
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    Sep 06, 2012 11:53 AM GMT
    If you don't do something about it then no. You can't just wait for it to automatically happen
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Sep 06, 2012 12:02 PM GMT
    It does get better, but only to a point. The rest is up to fate.
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    Sep 06, 2012 12:30 PM GMT
    You say that you've been "waiting your whole life" for things to get better... Quit waiting and make it better.. There are very few people in this world that have things just handed to them.. Wether it's wealth, friendship, love or happiness! It all takes work on your part..
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    Sep 06, 2012 1:13 PM GMT
    YOU get better. But YOU have to sponsor your own success. Be your own hero. Make your own luck.
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    Sep 06, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    You are 25 and dont have the life experience to know. and you are responsible for yourself. No one waves a wand to make it better. Sack up and take ownership of your life.
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    Sep 06, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    josephmovie saidIt does get better, but only to a point. The rest is up to fate.


    I have issues with the word "Fate"..and "it gets better only to a point???"..
    Joseph.. Are you projecting..???

    "If you need Things to change in your life...Start by changing Things in your life" .. Easier said than done...
    But this is year 2012...Humanity is now exploring life on Mars..

    ..The Sky is NO LONGER the LIMIT !!

    If you are unhappy with your life..It means you have lost control... !

    Take Control of your life and make the best of it !
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Sep 06, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    I'm curious about this as well, I'm terrified of what will happen in my future, I know that people will judge (from a small traditional town).
    But I badly want to move on, some of my family know I'm gay but they refuse to accept it!

    Did many of you go through this? I know I have to work at this for myself, I'm just curious about how you all dealt with everyone
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    PTADUDE87 said If it doesnt i wana end it now and spare myself years of waiting


    OP, you need professional help - NOW.
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    at 25 everyone thinks they have had enough life experience, but no. the most common denominator in all of your 'life experiences' is you. remember wherever you go, there you are.
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    Halo, thanks for the great responses. To everybody that said i must join a gay sports group or support group, im from south africa and am not aware that we have.
    Im not suicidal, just tired and frustrated and for this moment feel abit hopeless, im losing friends and guys are ignoring me, i always get my hopes up then its shattered. I am dont know if seeking profesional help, will help, all i need and want is to know that someone/anyone cares about me
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    aodhan saidI'm curious about this as well, I'm terrified of what will happen in my future, I know that people will judge (from a small traditional town).
    But I badly want to move on, some of my family know I'm gay but they refuse to accept it!

    Did many of you go through this? I know I have to work at this for myself, I'm just curious about how you all dealt with everyone


    Aodhan i will tell you what was told to me... "You can't make them accept you".."But you sure as hell can make them respect you"..

    ..Be the best person you can be..Be honest kind and compassionate..
    They'll come around...
    I used to be "The Odd Ball" in my family ..the very same folks that hated me 10 years ago..are the same ones who come to me for advise and support..
    And i'm the youngest in my family... I'm not the prime example..but i'm definately on my way..!!
    Hugs Aodhan..!!
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:22 PM GMT
    Man.... I was feeling the same as you when I was 22, and to make matters worse I owned a .45
    I'm 33 years old now and never been happier icon_smile.gif I finally got the job I wanted and moved to the place I wanted to live and met new great people.........I just had to make it happen and strive for it, and in the end I was happy. You can do it too icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 06, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    Life ALWAYS gets better... unless you nestle up with your shame and despair for peace of mind... most people aim for better to some degree in their lives. The trick is doing something that changes your situation, cause noone can change a thing about your life, perspective or how you feel about your life, for you. Moving is also helpful.
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    Sep 06, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    PTADUDE87 saidHalo, thanks for the great responses. To everybody that said i must join a gay sports group or support group, im from south africa and am not aware that we have.
    Im not suicidal, just tired and frustrated and for this moment feel abit hopeless, im losing friends and guys are ignoring me, i always get my hopes up then its shattered. I am dont know if seeking profesional help, will help, all i need and want is to know that someone/anyone cares about me


    At least we know you feel better!!..
    Professional help is always a good start btw..

    EVERYONE... He's Feeling Better !! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 06, 2012 4:50 PM GMT
    It does get better. Please don't kill yourself. One suicide is one too many.
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    Sep 06, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    To fairly represent everyone who isn't posting on this thread... 50,000 RJ'ers... no, life doesn't get better. It gets worse, and noone ever understands where you're coming from, and noone will listen if you reach out, and sometimes people are only trying to hurt you. While still some people will never love you like someone else has... and don't you ever think that some just needs space, time and growth of their own. No, they're out to hurt you. ... Bullshit aside, yes. It gets better... sometimes, it has to get worse with you kicking and screaming, fighting and denying what you want the most... before you can get better, for yourself. Fight it then! Fight off your anger, let it burn, then wash it away... damnit!