First original post...Advice? Maybe?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:24 AM GMT
    Alright so I've never made my own post on here, but I want to know what y'all think...

    I've been out for a few years now and I've dated guys and had a couple boyfriends along the way and that's been a learning experience. My family and friends accept me being gay, which I'm so thankful and grateful for. However, as of late, I feel like I've been in a weird place with my sexuality. I have days when I'm like, yeah I'm gay 100%, but then other days I'll think, well maybe I'm not. Is it possible to just be bi or have I just not come to terms with my sexuality completely? When I see two guys that have been together I'm happy for them, but I don't have this huge desire to have something like that. When I see a straight couple together though all I can think is how I want that someday. When I go out and am around guys and girls I'm pulled in different directions. I talked to my best friend about it and she asked if a guy and girl were put in front of me and I was told to pick which would I choose, and I can never decide. It's like the physical part of me wants the guy, and the emotional part of me wants the girl. Then I think about it and it switches. I'm proud of my sexuality. I have no shame in being gay, so I don't know why I have these conflicting thoughts.

    I guess I'm posting this because I'm curious if other guys think like this. Is this just all part of accepting my sexuality? I always felt like I had accepted it because I "hid it" all through high school and finally came out in college. I don't know if there is advice to be given or not, but just thought it was worth trying! Thanks for reading guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 9:00 AM GMT
    Coming out is a long process..!

    ...You are 21..a young adult and believe it or not .. for the male brain you still have about 4-5 more years of "actual" neurological growth..and till that time ..things can run a little wild... including your sexual integrity!

    ..Now You also live in the land of the free ..home of the brave....You know ALL. the qualifers for "Gay".."Bi".."Straight".. Be honest with yourself and others and things will improve..

    ...Bottom line so much of what you are experiencing could be "Chemical"...
    .. Take it easy.. don't drive yourself Crazy..Like i did !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 12:33 PM GMT
    Contrary to what many believe on this site and elsewhere, I believe you can be 100% Bi... I consider myself that way...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    Mase22 said...It's like the physical part of me wants the guy, and the emotional part of me wants the girl. Then I think about it and it switches.....


    When you say it switches do you mean that you picture your physical body with a female out of bed or in bed? Would you make a lovely couple or would you like to eat her pussy? There's a difference.

    Your orientation is what you fantasize when sexually aroused. Everything else is pretty much just societal crap that got inside your head. But also gay men can love women without being sexually attracted to them. That, however, is not bisexuality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Just be a good boyfriend to either one you want to be with... don't worry about defining yourself... think of it as finding yourself by living what you feel is right for you. At some point you'll understand where you fit in between men and women, and you can define yourself any way you want... or not be defined by anything at all. icon_idea.gif

    Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    JR_RJ saidJust be a good boyfriend to either one you want to be with... don't worry about defining yourself... think of it as finding yourself by living what you feel is right for you. At some point you'll understand where you fit in between men and women, and you can define yourself any way you want... or not be defined by anything at all. icon_idea.gif

    Good luck.


    Nicely put +1
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Sep 06, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    You said it yourself. Lust for guys but love for girls, this is a classice comming of age thing for a guy who is bi but has also been conditioned to want girls. Same thing happened to me only it took me longer to realize who I really am, gay. You can be gay and still occasionally have thoughts about girls that's fine but you will soon realize that everything relationship wise you wanted with a girl you can have just as equally with a guy. My biggest fear or what kept me conflicted was the whole biological thing if I want to have a kid I couldn't have a true "born from both parents" child with a guy or a true birth if that makes sense, but I have realized what is important to me and seeing I am a very romantic and sexual person men can do both when really I feel nothing for women. Good luck with what you choose!