Are All the "Good Ones" taken?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    I've been single for over 4 years now. Been moving to different places for new jobs and haven't had much stability since 2008, in all honesty. Though now I've found a place, adopted a dog, have had a couple of cats for 3.5 years now... But I haven't found a reliable way to meet good guys for dating

    Below is my profile from one of those iPhone Apps to meet guys, and as you can see, I make it clear I'm not looking for a quickie!

    PLEASE READ MY FULL PROFILE BEFORE CONTACTING ME! 
    --------  Looking for Love! -----------

    More of a date/relationship focused person here.  I stress here that I really don't respond well to quickies... Seriously looking for someone to date and perhaps enter into an LTR with. 

    I have my sh*t together and I'm looking for another man who has his sh^t together too.  Please know where you're going in life, and have some professional and interpersonal growth goals.  

    Love to travel and explore. Anything from day trips & weekend get-a-ways to overseas vacations and adventures.   Basically, I love to explore, and hope you do as well.

    Lastly, I'm a huge animal lover, I have 2 cats (4 yrs old) and 1 dog (1 yr old). 
    Also, having some perpetual childhood in me, I love to go out and look for wildlife, eg, frogs, turtles, etc...

    Please be compassionate and know what's going on in the world outside your personal "sphere of influence!" care for others that can't or don't know how to take care of themselves, and please be SELFLESS!  Thanks!

    Quickly: 
    HIV neg, non-smoker, open to good political discussion with other politically minded people too! Open to love and don't discriminate for preexisting conditions, except for if you aren't sober and able to make sound decisions!

    Activities & Interests
    Pets, Travel, Friends, Family, Engineering, Astronomy, Science, Physics, Health, Politics (domestic and international) and Compassion and Love of my fellow living creatures including other people. 

    And What I'm looking For:
    Looking for a level headed, down to Earth, driven guy. Have your sh*t together, please. 


    I feel I'm being very honest, but all I seem to find are guys who make excuses and just want a hookup. So they meet me, and then 'seduce' me (yes, if they're hot, I may have a hard time saying no). When I either turn them away and say, let's go on some dates and hangout to get to know one another, I never hear back from them. Or they never get back in touch after we hookup...

    Where's the Guy who wants more than just sex and actually wants to get to know me for me??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Sometimes in this dating scene we send the wrong signals..
    People judge us most times not from what we say..but what we do,,.

    ..If you are relationship oriented.. you have to behave accordingly..
    .. Hook up sites yeild.. Well..hookups..! It's not very easy to turn a "Trick" into a date..(Words from my BFF)..

    ..Btw.. you are 5' 11 195 lbs.. Not many guys can make you do something you don't wan't to do.. So seduction is not an excuse!

    ... Start your relationships with legitamate dating practices..Wait before you hop in the sack..!

    OP the answer to your question is simple..What you are selling and what you are advertising are two different things...

    One more example... Your profile saids.. "guys must have their sh*t tigether"..But your opening post clearly states you are unstable..

    "Been moving to different places for new jobs and haven't had much stability since 2008"..

    So these are things you might wan't to look into..!
    BTW..i am a little bit of a mess myself... I am not judging you!
    ..Cool?? icon_biggrin.gif
    Anocxu


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    I'm still single as-well!! Just go sit at Starbucks at an empty table and stare into nothing. Someone will find you, and stare with you <3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    Lash saidI'm still single as-well!! Just go sit at Starbucks at an empty table and stare into nothing. Someone will find you, and stare with you <3


    Im such an idiot ! I never try !...Will try soon lol!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    desperation is not attractive
    I'm sorry to sound like a dick by saying that! But honestly, tone it down a little and I think you will someday be pleasantly surprised icon_smile.gif
    Maybe try being less... "looking for love" and more "let's meet and see what happens"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    i keep all the good ones in a cage until i've worn all the good out of them

    then i sell them off for parts
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    Depends on what you consider any good at all?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 5:42 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saiddesperation is not attractive
    I'm sorry to sound like a dick by saying that! But honestly, tone it down a little and I think you will someday be pleasantly surprised icon_smile.gif
    Maybe try being less... "looking for love" and more "let's meet and see what happens"?


    Of course, for a lot of the players "meet and see what happens" is code for let's fuck after coffee!

    There are no good ones or bad ones. There are complementary matches and, as Jack and Karen would say, mismatches.

    Navigating to a match point is all about your balance - availability with caution, attraction with measured restraint, compromise with wisdom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    terrible to say, but your situation seems to be the norm... or at least the consensus.

    the sad fact is that many of us face the same connundrum. lots of freely available shallow and meaningless sex, but very rare to find personal depth, sincere connections, and longevity. quality vs. quantity.... lots of quantity out there, but not a lot of quality.

    online is not an ideal medium for lasting relationships. rarely do people read. its mostly an online catalogue of torsos, butts and dicks, and as visual beings we men are drawn to focus on these superficial attributes (i'm guilty of the same).

    its harder to convey the nuances of personality in an online profile, when we're confronted with a dick catalog!

    so my theory:

    socialise more in real life! - it will be uncomfortable at first and it will take time to develop friendships, rather than one-shot interactions. but practice makes perfect. and you must find continual personal motivation to put yourself out there!

    discipline your online profiles! this means not posting hyper-sexualised pics, and keeping your online interactions polite - like coffee shop conversations, instead of strip joint conversations.

    let me know if it works. i'll try too icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    Well no, the good ones can't all be taken all of a sudden.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    i think using goatse photos as profile photos is the best way to meet quality people for lasting connections based on mutual respect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    I haven't seen your app profile pics but use pics in which you are not dressed/posed provocatively. If you are going to show too much skin then you are baiting guys with sex. In which case they respond with sex. However be prepared to see a significant drop in messages with 'normal' pics.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidSometimes in this dating scene we send the wrong signals..
    People judge us most times not from what we say..but what we do,,.

    ..If you are relationship oriented.. you have to behave accordingly..
    .. Hook up sites yeild.. Well..hookups..! It's not very easy to turn a "Trick" into a date..(Words from my BFF)..

    ..Btw.. you are 5' 11 195 lbs.. Not many guys can make you do something you don't wan't to do.. So seduction is not an excuse!

    ... Start your relationships with legitamate dating practices..Wait before you hop in the sack..!

    OP the answer to your question is simple..What you are selling and what you are advertising are two different things...

    One more example... Your profile saids.. "guys must have their sh*t tigether"..But your opening post clearly states you are unstable..

    "Been moving to different places for new jobs and haven't had much stability since 2008"..

    So these are things you might wan't to look into..!
    BTW..i am a little bit of a mess myself... I am not judging you!
    ..Cool?? icon_biggrin.gif
    Anocxu




    Well I have become much more stable, physically, meaning where I live and life with my currunt jobs... And I've been quite stable mentally for a long time... Just haven't met someone in the area Ive been living
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:31 PM GMT
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 saiddesperation is not attractive
    I'm sorry to sound like a dick by saying that! But honestly, tone it down a little and I think you will someday be pleasantly surprised icon_smile.gif
    Maybe try being less... "looking for love" and more "let's meet and see what happens"?


    Of course, for a lot of the players "meet and see what happens" is code for let's fuck after coffee!

    There are no good ones or bad ones. The are complementary matches and, as Jack and Karen would say, mismatches.

    Navigating to a match point is all about your balance - availability with caution, attraction with measured restraint, compromise with wisdom.


    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:39 PM GMT
    Best thing I can tell is to be happy with your own life, be of the kind of quality, understanding and desire you want to find in a guy, and work hard. Don't look... you'll go gray from the stress of not "finding". When you find someone who fits your mold, you'll know. But just be aware that you are also his "good one" too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:46 PM GMT
    I disagree with those who say you need to dress conservatively for your photos and refuse to jump in the sack with a date. A real guy (not an insecure game player) will not be bothered by these things and will focus on your substance. That said, I found in my own search that I just needed to do a better job screening my dates before I meeting them face to face. It meant turning down irresistible studs, but that gave me more time to devote to finding a real man. The rule I used was simple: if he does not seem like someone who I can develop a relationship with, the answer is no.

    The other challenge is that you are a few hours drive from a big city. That can slow things down.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:52 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif

    Dude you are MINE! dont you rememeber the wedding ring ?? !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    Oops. Guess I'm in the "bad ones" column now!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 6:56 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidOops. Guess I'm in the "bad ones" column now!


    Nothing to say, but its youe 5555 post!icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif


    like the rest? who have you met that's ignored you? someone on RJ? point him out! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:05 PM GMT
    HFrenchM said
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif

    Dude you are MINE! dont you rememeber the wedding ring ?? !!


    lol he's your property huh? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 said
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif


    like the rest? who have you met that's ignored you? someone on RJ? point him out! icon_wink.gif


    Hmm, the last two guys I met - one from online and one from a bar. Both 'first dates" were last dates and the one admitted it was because I didn't have sex with him, even though I was very clear from the start that I wasn't jumping into bed with anyone. I guess everyone has become so jaded that someone saying that in a serious manner just comes off like another line.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 said
    HFrenchM said
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif

    Dude you are MINE! dont you rememeber the wedding ring ?? !!


    lol he's your property huh? icon_razz.gif


    Hmmm, this sounds like a situation for sharing!!!

    icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 said
    HFrenchM said
    RunintheCity said
    k3l3k0 said

    sooo... wanna meet and see what happens? lol


    Sure, just don't be like all the rest and ignore me after I don't sleep with you after the first meeting. icon_razz.gif

    Dude you are MINE! dont you rememeber the wedding ring ?? !!


    lol he's your property huh? icon_razz.gif


    He is one of a few I own! lol icon_twisted.gif