Defriended Over a Wedding, a Straight Man Gains Perspective

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    Sep 06, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    It's nice to read things like this.

    "My younger brother is gay. Gay as laughter. Gay as the day is long. One of the finest moments in my life, and one of the greatest compliments anyone has ever paid me, was the day he felt safe to come out to me. He’s in his mid-30s now, but he’ll always be my little brother. And man, I love that kid. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, and he’s kind. And he just married a phenomenal man.

    I was always predisposed to like his husband because, y’know, he’s my brother’s partner and therefore has automatic status in my heart. The wonderful bonus is that I really like him. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, and he’s kind. He’s a cool dude to hang out with. He also stood by my brother like a rock when my brother had a life-threatening cancer that cost him his left eye.

    Wow.

    This came from a man I used to work with. A man I respect in his dedication to his family, and in his desire to live a moral and ethical life. A man with whom I have had some very interesting religious debates. He has become a Baptist preacher since we last spoke in person, and I suppose that makes this message unsurprising.

    But, I was still surprised. I was taken aback. I needed a moment. I was hurt.

    I was inclined to hurl some expletives in his direction.

    But, only for a moment. He’s not really that important of a person in my life. I had actually at times grown rather tired of his Facebook postings…I don’t have a great need for fundamentalist dogma in my day. So, on some level, good riddance.

    I sent him a letter at his church, expressing my disappointment in his withdrawal. I had a few friends read the letter before I sent it, to make sure that it didn’t contain too much bile. I’m not surprised that I haven’t heard back from him.

    The situation got me thinking: What if this hadn’t been about my brother’s wedding, but about MY wedding? What if it hadn’t been from a distant friend, but from a beloved family member?"





    Read more: http://evolequals.com/2012/09/03/defriended-2/
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    Sep 06, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    Good riddance to the hater, and god we have such an ally.
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    Sep 06, 2012 8:03 PM GMT
    So amazing and compassionate. Just shared it on Facebook.
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    Sep 06, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
    OP, you left out some of the details in your copy and paste.
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    Sep 06, 2012 8:51 PM GMT
    mileshelvetica saidOP, you left out some of the details in your copy and paste.

    Yes, he did and it was kind of a critical part. Here is the part between the second paragraph and the "Wow." in the OP:

    They married in May. It was a wonderful ceremony in which I was honored to stand by my brother, supporting him in his vows. My eyes teared up like they always do at weddings. I had the joy of watching two people commit to a lifetime together. It filled my heart.

    Folks started posting photos from the wedding on Facebook, and I proudly reposted photos of the ceremony (with me looking awesome in my new suit, of course). Shortly after that, I received this message from a FB friend:

    “Hey David, I am removing you from my friends list…sorry man, that latest post is way over the top! Homosexuals joining in “Holy” matrimony…I don’t think so??? The Holy Bible speaks out against homosexuality and speaks highly of Holy matrimony between a man and a woman. It’s nothing more than a slap in the face to those who choose God’s Word, for homosexuals to join in a Holy marriage. I’m only defriending you so I don’t have to look at your anti-God stuff anymore…nothing personal!”
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    Sep 06, 2012 8:56 PM GMT
    ^^^Helpful*

    That was a good read... could really use some friends that guy's brother around. =')
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    I hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidI hate word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.

    facebook-like-icon-150x150.png
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    Iceblink said
    Ariodante saidI hate word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.

    facebook-like-icon-150x150.png


    I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE icon_evil.gif


    Also how embarrassing I forgot a 'the' up there...and an 'it'...
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:18 PM GMT
    Would you really want a friend like that anyway? And "Facebook friend" is not synonymous with "friend".

    Forget the hater. Focus on the good people and the good things in life. That's the stuff that brings true happiness :-)
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    OP fu**ed up a cut and paste job?

    icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    The answer to this issue lies in a single word......BAPTIST.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    Cranky_No_More said
    Ariodante saidAlso how embarrassing I forgot a 'the' up there...and an 'it'...

    Wow, you did. I just noticed.
    That's it, I'm de-friending you.


    I CAN CHANGE I SWEAR.

    Actually that's a crock I won't change icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    As I've said before....

    Just tell people like that they don't really believe that homosexuality is an abomination. Because if they really believed it and we're all upset because it was an abomination, then they would be equally vociferous about eating shrimp. And they ain't, Blanche, they ain't. So they are being motivated purely by bigotry and hate.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    Ariodante said

    I CAN CHANGE I SWEAR.

    Actually that's a cock I won't change


    Now, that's a typo I could agree with!
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    Sep 07, 2012 12:10 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    mileshelvetica saidOP, you left out some of the details in your copy and paste.

    Yes, he did and it was kind of a critical part. Here is the part between the second paragraph and the "Wow." in the OP:

    They married in May. It was a wonderful ceremony in which I was honored to stand by my brother, supporting him in his vows. My eyes teared up like they always do at weddings. I had the joy of watching two people commit to a lifetime together. It filled my heart.

    Folks started posting photos from the wedding on Facebook, and I proudly reposted photos of the ceremony (with me looking awesome in my new suit, of course). Shortly after that, I received this message from a FB friend:

    “Hey David, I am removing you from my friends list…sorry man, that latest post is way over the top! Homosexuals joining in “Holy” matrimony…I don’t think so??? The Holy Bible speaks out against homosexuality and speaks highly of Holy matrimony between a man and a woman. It’s nothing more than a slap in the face to those who choose God’s Word, for homosexuals to join in a Holy marriage. I’m only defriending you so I don’t have to look at your anti-God stuff anymore…nothing personal!”


    What a douche lol
    Everyone has their own beliefs and whatnot, but the guy couldn't just delete the other one off fb without saying anything? He had to express his thoughts on something that doesn't concern him at all and then flee.
    Man, people make me sad....

    I wish more people would just delete fb and be done with it.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 07, 2012 2:34 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.


    my life is empty because you haven't accepted my friend request
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    Sep 07, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Timbales said
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.


    my life is empty because you haven't accepted my friend request

    can you mainline FB?
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    Timbales said
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.


    my life is empty because you haven't accepted my friend request


    I can fill you up in so many other ways icon_twisted.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.

    Hey wait, if I remove a buddy on RJ, do I debud them... cause that sounds like it hurts? icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Timbales said
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.


    my life is empty because you haven't accepted my friend request


    I can fill you up in so many other ways icon_twisted.gif


    me next? icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    mileshelvetica saidOP, you left out some of the details in your copy and paste.

    Yes, he did and it was kind of a critical part. Here is the part between the second paragraph and the "Wow." in the OP:

    They married in May. It was a wonderful ceremony in which I was honored to stand by my brother, supporting him in his vows. My eyes teared up like they always do at weddings. I had the joy of watching two people commit to a lifetime together. It filled my heart.

    Folks started posting photos from the wedding on Facebook, and I proudly reposted photos of the ceremony (with me looking awesome in my new suit, of course). Shortly after that, I received this message from a FB friend:

    “Hey David, I am removing you from my friends list…sorry man, that latest post is way over the top! Homosexuals joining in “Holy” matrimony…I don’t think so??? The Holy Bible speaks out against homosexuality and speaks highly of Holy matrimony between a man and a woman. It’s nothing more than a slap in the face to those who choose God’s Word, for homosexuals to join in a Holy marriage. I’m only defriending you so I don’t have to look at your anti-God stuff anymore…nothing personal!”



    The guy is totally entitled to have his own opinion. But really, he could've just unsubscribed from the OP's updates without unfriending him, it's under the Report/Block link. Zero tact.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 07, 2012 11:42 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Timbales said
    Ariodante saidI hate the word "defriending", and I hate that Facebook has become such a crucial and integral part of so many people's lives. People put so much petty stock into it, what people do on it, what they did to ME on it. I think it's ridiculous.


    my life is empty because you haven't accepted my friend request


    I can fill you up in so many other ways icon_twisted.gif


    0e9.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:53 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidSo amazing and compassionate. Just shared it on Facebook.


    Me too. Definitely worth a read.
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    Brotherhood like this is awesome and invigorating!

    What can you expect from a so called leader (whose sources of inspiration are written books) who doesn't know the difference between a statement and a question?
    "Homosexuals joining in “Holy” matrimony…I don’t think so??? "