Request to unfriend boyfriend's family members

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    What would you do if your boyfriend or partner asked you to unfriend many of his relatives on Facebook? Assume that it may have something to do with supporting him in his own relationships with relatives. But it may have nothing to do with that and something to do with the relationship between the two of you. Assume that for whatever reason he doesn't want to talk about it, just says, please do it, just because I asked you to.


    Would you do it, no questions asked? This is all a hypothetical, of course.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    Why would someone friend relatives of a boyfriend unless he friended them because he got to know them?
    FaceBook makes for such superficial 'friendships'.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC saidWhy would someone friend relatives of a boyfriend unless he friended them because he got to know them?
    FaceBook makes for such superficial 'friendships'.


    Let's assume he does know them. BF just doesn't want him to be FB friends with them any more, for some reason.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:37 PM GMT
    showme said[...] Assume that for whatever reason he doesn't want to talk about it, just says, please do it, just because I asked you to.

    Would you do it, no questions asked? This is all a hypothetical, of course.


    Red flag, unless I knew the BF VERY well and had ultimate unquestionable trust in him. Only if so I would do it without question.
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    Sep 06, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    Hypothetically speaking, since the people concerned talk about most everything, this not wanting to give any reason and the request being made in anger is a huge red flag. The requestee suspects that it's some kind of retaliation for the requestor being ticked off at the requestee's family, which doesn't sound like a very good reason. But he doesn't want to be uncooperative - after all it's not his family and he's not particularly close to the people in question.
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    Sep 06, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    Well if it was done in anger..wait till it blows over before you make a move???
  • demasi

    Posts: 76

    Sep 07, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    Depends how they got on there.

    Like if I had a boyfriend, we'd been together less than one year.
    I'd feel weird after him meeting my family he went and found them all on facebook and added them. I don't think that's appropriate.

  • demasi

    Posts: 76

    Sep 07, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    but in saying that, i wouldn't say "you have to delete them".
    What's done is done.
  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Sep 07, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    If he wants you to delete them, ask questions. A lot of people that those that are either struggling to accept something so you have to know what is going on before you make a move.
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    Sep 07, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    maybe he is preparing you for the end
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 1:30 AM GMT
    To me, this is tough. You should go with your instincts...

    Part of me wants to say - that if one is in this relationship - and it's a LTR, then trust should be built and one would have to trust that the others motives are valid whatever they are...

    However, if it's not such a LTR, but one has developed a friendship with the extended family members of the BF, then is it really fair for one to ask the other to stop being friends just because there may be friction???

    Would it be possible to remove the members from the news feed without "unfriending" them?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    It worked out. Thanks for letting me vent and for the thoughtful advice, guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 8:52 PM GMT
    This is why I am not a member of facebook. It makes real relationships seem like they are much harder and it makes these fake online ones seem like they might be real. See, when you "friend" someone on facebook, it is the same as winking at a busload of Chinese retards, they don't notice, nor do they care. Friend everyone you want, they don't care. When you unfriend them, or when they unfriend you for whatever stupid and shallow reason they come up with, no one will care.
    There, problem solved. Or, better yet, untie those stupid electronic leashes and get a real life with real people who have real hands and fingers and feelings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    showme saidIt worked out. Thanks for letting me vent and for the thoughtful advice, guys.

    And how did it "work out"?