Should I let him make the next move???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    Advice needed. icon_smile.gif

    I met a guy who I instantly clicked with online (spare me the eye rolls) last weekend. We quickly exchanged numbers and began texting and had a good phone conversation. He seemed to be a quality person and we had so many similarities I suggested that we meet this past Monday. So we went and had coffee and had a very nice time...no first meeting awkwardness or anything like that. We left and agreed to keep talking. As we texted the next day or so he on his own accord mentions about wanting to go on a second date and even sends me random texts that say 'how cute he thought I was' to which I would reciprocate and now suddenly for the last day or so he has gone almost totally silent.

    I guess I am just frustrated as this was someone I was pretty excited about getting to know and see where it might lead. Maybe I am overreacting but for as much communication as we had at first it's weird for him to essentially disappear when he was showing all the signs of interest and then suddenly he is gone.

    Should I wait to hear from him again? Or should I call or text him in the next day or so if I haven't heard from him?

    Any constructive advice needed and troll comments can stay inside your head and off the thread. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    He seems to be sending you the right signals, I see no harm in texting him.

    OMG, Is this person me?!?!?!
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    haha. icon_smile.gif

    I may just be paranoid. It's just the sudden drop in texting (which I know shouldn't be the basis for a relationship) that concerns me. He doesn't 'owe' me anything...we barely know each other. But he was definitely building me up for more based on his own comments so I'd just hate to be let down yet again.
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:20 AM GMT
    Isn't this the way it usually happens? You're messaging back and forth, like a game of tennis.....then, nothing! I don't know, it's so frustrating.
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    No texts the last day or so? He might just be busy. Don't get upset too soon. If you don't hear from tomorrow, send him a text and see what happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    This is like that scene from Swingers. icon_lol.gif

    Don't wait. Make a move. Go in for the kill! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    Iceblink saidNo texts the last day or so? He might just be busy. Don't get upset too soon. If you don't hear from tomorrow, send him a text and see what happens.


    I am totally trying to do that for sure. If we hadn't had soooo many texts at the beginning I wouldn't be acting as stupid as I probably sound.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    One day is too soon to be worried. There are a lot of legitimate reasons why he hasn't texted.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:10 AM GMT
    Did a day pass without communicating with each other prior to meeting?

    No one can be too busy to send a text even if it just says, "hi how are you doing"

    I would send him a text that says, 'Hi how are you doing. Just seeing when you are free to get together again?" It can go either one of 3 ways

    You don't hear from him again
    He gets in contact with you
    He's hospitalized or dead.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 07, 2012 11:13 AM GMT
    Blondizgd saidDid a day pass without communicating with each other prior to meeting?

    No one can be too busy to send a text even if it just says, "hi how are you doing"

    I would send him a text that says, 'Hi how are you doing. Just seeing when you are free to get together again?" I can go either one of 3 ways

    You don't hear from him again
    He gets in contact with you
    He's hospitalized or dead.


    Good advice. Also text as your main form of communication is stupid, you're 32 not a teen. Grow a pair and talk, then meet and repeat if all goes well.
    simple
    NEXT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:23 AM GMT
    i would text him. nothing too hot or heavy.

    If you don't hear back then you have your answer... well somewhat of an answer.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Sep 07, 2012 11:37 AM GMT
    Phone him and say you've been thinking about the time and place for your next day ..... do you have any ideas?"

    Sometimes I don't see or react to a text for hours because of my work .... even a day.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Sep 07, 2012 11:37 AM GMT
    Phone him and say you've been thinking about the time and place for your next day ..... do you have any ideas?"

    Sometimes I don't see or react to a text for hours because of my work .... even a day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    Relationships aren't built/nor lost in a week so I would just keep the communication open or even slow things down even more. If I were under the expectation that I needed to communicate with a guy every day/every other day, we would need to be in an established relationship first.
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    Sep 07, 2012 12:51 PM GMT
    Blondizgd saidDid a day pass without communicating with each other prior to meeting?

    No one can be too busy to send a text even if it just says, "hi how are you doing"

    I would send him a text that says, 'Hi how are you doing. Just seeing when you are free to get together again?" It can go either one of 3 ways

    You don't hear from him again
    He gets in contact with you
    He's hospitalized or dead.


    Ever worked in a hospital?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 12:51 PM GMT
    Text/Call him! He's seeing if you are interested in him as much as he is in you!

    No one is too busy to text!
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    Sep 07, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    Justtrying said
    Blondizgd saidDid a day pass without communicating with each other prior to meeting?

    No one can be too busy to send a text even if it just says, "hi how are you doing"

    I would send him a text that says, 'Hi how are you doing. Just seeing when you are free to get together again?" It can go either one of 3 ways

    You don't hear from him again
    He gets in contact with you
    He's hospitalized or dead.


    Ever worked in a hospital?


    if God is not too busy to speak to christians - no one is too busy to send a 5 second text. Absolutely no oneicon_exclaim.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 1:42 PM GMT
    Myol saidRelationships aren't built/nor lost in a week so I would just keep the communication open or even slow things down even more. If I were under the expectation that I needed to communicate with a guy every day/every other day, we would need to be in an established relationship first.


    well i think you are wrong there. we are in a disposable society and this unfortuantely extends to relationships as well. they are indeed built or lost in a day.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 07, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    I could see how that would be disconcerting.

    Like u guys are txting, it's fun, it's cute, ur developing a little crush, etc.... and then BAM it stops like wtf???

    Hmmmm, have u called him?
    I understand people get busy, there's an obvious DUH there, but to shoot a text to someone u are crushing on only takes a matter of seconds.

    Maybe wait a day or two and on ur next txt sound a bit more formal and less "oh, i have a crsuh on u".... and see if he responds to that.

    Maybe he got freaked out? I dunno
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    Justtrying said
    Blondizgd saidDid a day pass without communicating with each other prior to meeting?

    No one can be too busy to send a text even if it just says, "hi how are you doing"

    I would send him a text that says, 'Hi how are you doing. Just seeing when you are free to get together again?" It can go either one of 3 ways

    You don't hear from him again
    He gets in contact with you
    He's hospitalized or dead.


    Ever worked in a hospital?


    Do you want me to enumerate the number of times when a 2 second text could be sent?

    How is it working in a hospital does not stop guys who want to hookup and cum dump from finding time to make the necessary connections?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    what if it was just a happy moment?

    if you were happy for a while, just be happy you had that. and if there is more, there is more. and if there is no more, there is no more. scraping at the bottom of the cup won't make more ice cream, if it is indeed the bottom of the cup. but it may take time to thaw and then you could have more. or not

    but stressing will not thaw it faster, nor change it if it is done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    I agree, send him a message with an invite to get together again. If you don't hear anything, let it go. Many guys don't have the balls to just say, sorry but instead play the ignore game. Don't let it deter you. If he replies, then all is good in Gotham City!
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    Sep 07, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    Myol saidRelationships aren't built/nor lost in a week so I would just keep the communication open or even slow things down even more. If I were under the expectation that I needed to communicate with a guy every day/every other day, we would need to be in an established relationship first.


    well i think you are wrong there. we are in a disposable society and this unfortuantely extends to relationships as well. they are indeed built or lost in a day.


    Yeah, I see what you mean but those weren't relationships to begin with which was my broader point. We often think that spending time with people equals relationships when really we were just killing time together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    Thanks for the good advice guys. He certainly doesn't owe me anything and I am not mad at him. It just bothered me that communication went down significantly even though he was showing signs of interest.

    I didn't want to keep texting or calling him and come across as desperate or needy if he wasn't responding.

    If I haven't heard from him by tomorrow then I will give him a shout.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 4:37 PM GMT
    Please dont text him - call him, you can read so much more from the sounds of his voice than from a text message.

    Best of luck!