In college with no friends...

  • duhitisme

    Posts: 19

    Sep 07, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    So basically I'm in college now and have no friends, legit zero. So I need to find some friends around my age in the north jersey/NYC area. Please just message me and say hi at least. And if you have any tips on making new friends in college that would be great.
    Thanks, duhitisme
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    It's never too late to make friends. College is all about enjoying the experience so go do what you love and you'll run into others who will be doing the same!
  • duhitisme

    Posts: 19

    Sep 07, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    But its so awkward that I end up leaving the situation and just go sit by myself in a corner
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    Sep 07, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    for me college was one of the easiest times in my life to make friends.
    just be friendly. lol people like that. dont go off and sit in a corner, it makes u look anti-social and snobby. even tho ur prob not.
  • duhitisme

    Posts: 19

    Sep 07, 2012 7:16 PM GMT
    Thanks I'll try but idk it really hard. Like people in my major already made groups of friends and I didn't yet so its difficult to join groups when they already started
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Sep 07, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    u dont have to be friends with people in ur major, how limitng. Perhaps think about joining a club or organization at your university? Is there a particular casue u are passionate about? Join that organization. Volunteer at school events, get to know any students, not just the ones in ur major.

    when i was in college most my friends weren;t the same major as me.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Sep 07, 2012 8:26 PM GMT
    Do stuff. Get involved in some interest groups, intramural sports, dorm buddies for beers (start a chapter if you don't already have one--no dues--just bring a six pack), volunteer, talk to people after class about what the prof didn't know. Just find ways to have as many low level social interactions as possible and you'll develop some friendships. Then go from there.
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    Sep 07, 2012 8:26 PM GMT
    Try and go with the flow. It took me a while to figure out who I would hang out with the rest of my years in college and who I would just say hi to and that. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    I made friends personally when I got involved and I'm pretty much as shy and quiet as they come. I was highly socially awkward (or at least I felt I was). I was always overthinking my behavior too. Anyway, point being is you can definitely make new friends. icon_smile.gif Get involved in your campus and see what they have to offer organization/club wise. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    I agree with what others have said - join an organization. A big part of your college education takes place outside of the classroom, and learning to meet people, build friendships, network, and do some crazy things on the side goes a long way in shaping a well-rounded character.

    I'd also recommend reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's a really good book and an easy read.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Be yourself, be honest, get yourself out there (and off the internet) doing the things you like. Friends will come. If others seem to be making friends very quickly, it may be because they are not picky enough.
  • EddieT

    Posts: 93

    Sep 07, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    I was/am still in that same spot, 4 years in. If you have your major picked, usually you'll start having courses with the same people that have your major. Also, look for co-curricular groups that your major offers, guessing you're also in the dorms, participate in the group activities, maybe befriend your neighbors, just walk by and introduce yourself, no matter how awkward it may feel, you have opportunities to make friends. Plus it's the beginning of the semester, things will fall into place, just be optimistic icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    I was a commuter in college so a lot of times everyone knew each other because they lived on campus together. The easiest way for me to meet people was in class. Just talk to the people around you.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:41 PM GMT
    Two words for ya: be active. This doesn't just mean outside of class, as in joining school clubs, getting a job/volunteer work, etc. Be active during class too; participate in class discussion, and try to answer some of the questions that teachers ask to you and your peers. Post secondary is quite a different environment where people who do well in class are much respected rather than being treated as a nerd/loser. You can be a sociopath, but if other people can see that you are an academically inclined individual, they will cling onto you like mosquitoes.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    you have to ask yourself... which sucks more: potentially being rejected by people (which isn't THAT common if you're a normal, interesting person), or being alone forever.

    being alone forever is worse.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    Join a club, half of my friends I made in college were because of a club.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:47 PM GMT
    If you have a passion go do it. You will meet people that are passionate about it as well. Go do intramurals, talk with someone in your class, go to sporting events, join a club. College is the easiest time in our lives to make friends.
  • umphreak

    Posts: 43

    Sep 07, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    What do you do for fun? Like any sports? What are your hobbies? Do you party? Answer those questions and find somewhere on campus where people do those things. Then you'll meet people who share your passions. Who cares what their major is--class is boring. Find people who done same fun things you do.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    I joined a community service fraternity and met a ton of people. Try joining clubs or playing intramural sports or something. As long as you make an effort people are usually always friendly! I'm pretty shy myself so I know where you're coming from, but it's not as hard as you think. Be yourself.
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    Sep 07, 2012 10:56 PM GMT
    fuzzywuzzy saidI was a commuter in college so a lot of times everyone knew each other because they lived on campus together. The easiest way for me to meet people was in class. Just talk to the people around you.


    He ain't lying!
    Just talk to people. Pull a Mean Girls and ask the people beside you if they know what the professor is talking about even if you do. Joining clubs helps, but you gotta put yourself out there.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Sep 07, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    Welcome to my world .icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 07, 2012 11:09 PM GMT
    You really need to put yourself out there and make an effort to make friends. College is the easiest place to do that. Every few months a new semester begins with new classes and new people and for many, every school year the living arrangements change and there are new people and neighbors to meet. There is always new people to meet. Wait until you are done and get a job- it will pretty much be many of the same coworkers for years and you will eventually be settled in a place and have the same neighbors for years. You then have to make more of an effort to meet new people and friends, so work on it now while it is a lot easier. If you are too shy or have issue with being social, seek the help of a counselor at college.
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Sep 07, 2012 11:18 PM GMT
    Get yourself out there!

    I started college at 38 and by the end of the first month I was on the rowing team and being rushed by TKE.

    Be bold in class, put your hand up first, turn to people and ask to start a study group.

    It's gotta be a lot easier to do that in college at 18 then 38.

  • O5vx

    Posts: 3154

    Sep 07, 2012 11:24 PM GMT
    My college just made the first lgbtq club.
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Sep 07, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    Live on campus if you can, even if it's just for a few months. It's hard not to make friends if you do this.