Bar/club alone?

  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 08, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    Do you think its a bad idea to go out alone?..... i, personally, feel weird going out alone but i dont really know anyone in the gay scene.... btw, please forgive the grammar im on my shitty phone >
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Sep 08, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    It's far from a bad idea, although you should be able to keep an eye on any drinks you have. If you're a Social guy at all, there's great time to be had from going out solo.
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    Sep 08, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    You're in the Bronx, dude. Go with a friend to be sure.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 08, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    Do you mean as far as your safety? I guess that all depends on your impression of the area you're in.

    Otherwise, I don't think there's anything bad about going out alone. I don't have many gay friends, so I go to gay bars routinely by myself. It actually makes it easier for other guys to approach you, and you don't have to worry about ditching your friends. You just have to be social and proactive about talking to strangers.
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    Sep 08, 2012 10:44 PM GMT
    why go out at all? just hop a plane to california and stay with me.
  • chrisblue82

    Posts: 1

    Sep 08, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    Go for it! I go out alone often. Just have an objective in mind for yourself and do it. Are you there just to browse/drink; do you want to aggressively meet someone?; do you just want to be visually objectified showing off what you got?

    I find I have more fun when I have a purpose than just standing their drinking looking awkward and alone.
  • musclefun8

    Posts: 39

    Sep 08, 2012 11:14 PM GMT
    Going out alone can be fun! It forces you to break out of your comfort zone to meet new people. Once you meet new friends you won't be going out alone anymore.
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    Sep 09, 2012 12:34 AM GMT
    If I am looking to meet new people, I find going out alone easier to talk to people than going out with friends. You are forced to talk to people, or you will just be a gawker icon_razz.gif

    When you have friends, you worry about having to come and go with them, hanging out with them (which is fun in itself), but you won't meet other guys because you are unapproachable in a large group from anyone else's perspective--at least that's my impression. Some people will assume someone you're hanging that close to is your boyfriend (I assume this sometimes). It basically increases someone's risk of being rejected if they go up to you, and that's not what you want to do...unless you are trying to not talk to new people there.

    As has been stated, it takes practice, courage/guts, and a smile. Don't be so serious. I can do it without alcohol now and outside of the bar scene (ie the gym!) *brushes off left shoulder with right hand with a sophisticated air* (I always order lemon water so I have something in my hand).

    That said, I enjoy going out by myself and with friends. Either way you are being social, but it is a different kind of social. Both are fun. Sometimes I want one or the other some nights. Other nights I just want to stay home and play Guild Wars 2 icon_razz.gif
  • str8hardbody9

    Posts: 1519

    Sep 09, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    It's fun to be alone at the clubs or bars. I met new people when I go out alone plus I can go home whenever I want to. Have fun there are so many people who out alone specially in NYC & LA.
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    Sep 09, 2012 12:39 AM GMT
    Going out alone makes hooking up so much easier. You don't have to worry about how the friend or friends you came with are going to get home.
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    Sep 09, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    I would go to a bar or café (gay ones of course) alone in hope of meeting people there. So it's not that much of a bad idea but don't overdrink yourself..
  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 09, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    JR_RJ saidYou're in the Bronx, dude. Go with a friend to be sure.


    haha. I appreciate this sentiment. Although, I take the express bus back late at night so I dont have to deal with subway/bus. It goes almost to my doorstep.

    Thank you all for your input. I may go out next Friday icon_smile.gif
  • Tread

    Posts: 39

    Sep 09, 2012 8:35 AM GMT
    I tend to go out to the bars/clubs by myself and have for the last 5-6 years.

    I think it's normal to fee a bit akward going by yourself, but as the other guys stated, going by yourself has so many other benefits.
    A few tricks that work out for me, when I go out in the night by myself, is to always; smile, keeping my mobile phone in my pocket and not fiddiling with it, in my hands, finding a spot at the bar or an other place were people pass by on a regular basis. Also make sure to talk with people you deem unattractive, they tend to know the guys you might find hot and lastly.. feel free to walk away or move on, from guys with poor social skills abilities, mood leeches and general bad cosmic vibes.

    Have fun!
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    Sep 09, 2012 8:53 AM GMT
    Yeah it is awkward if you stress about. Just grab a drink and start talking to whoever is next to you. Move around if their not feeling it. Hopefully, it will work out, but I agree it is no regrets when your by yourself and you don't have to worry about the next person and blah blah blah ..
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Sep 09, 2012 10:00 AM GMT
    I have done this before. It might feel daunting but if you smile plenty and go with the right mindset (that everybody is nice and thinks well of you) then you can meet great new people! Ultimately, you go out to socialise with other people, so the hope is that you'd make new friends while out. If it doesn't happen (and it can be really hard) then no worries you just broke a barrier that a LOT of people find really impossible to do (going out alone). - and you might get it the next time :-)

    You go out alone, and end up meeting folk. Good luck.
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    Sep 09, 2012 10:31 AM GMT
    I go alone...but always meet up with friends there, and who knows you can always meet a new friend;) put yourself out there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2012 10:43 AM GMT

    Greeky - γειά σου!

    Take Νίκος with you and you'll never be alone! icon_wink.gif

    Πες το μου ξανά ότι μ΄αγαπάς



  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 09, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    tanlejos said
    Greeky - γειά σου!

    Take Νίκος with you and you'll never be alone! icon_wink.gif

    Πες το μου ξανά ότι μ΄αγαπάς





    haha =)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    I would have never met so many people that I have if I never ventured out by myself. Just look condifent and approachable (NOT COCKY!!!) and people will start becoming drawn to you.
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    Tread saidand lastly.. feel free to walk away or move on, from guys with poor social skills abilities, mood leeches and general bad cosmic vibes.

    Have fun!


    HAHA! Mood leeches - what a great term! I call them "energy suckers" but its the same vibe. you feel all your special powers draining... icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 10, 2012 10:53 AM GMT
    I go out alone all the time.. i have days where i go meet friends..and i have days where i go club hopping alone.. either way i have tons of fun!!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 10, 2012 12:44 PM GMT
    I have no problem doing things alone.... I doubt if I would go to a gay bar by myself (not that the action is wrong in any way), it's all based on a comfort thing. I don't go into bars frequently, but when I do, its with friends.

    Having said that... go..if you are comfortable with it. We had a thread on here once about "eating in a restaurant alone" and how odd that was. I do that all the time when I'm out working or if I'm coming back from shopping or even the gym and I get a wild hair for some specific kind of food, I stop and eat, who cares if I'm by myself. See, its all about a comfort level.

    Do what you want, just be safe.
  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 15, 2012 5:14 AM GMT
    So... I went alone. Made an acquiantance. icon_smile.gif Hopefully more next time
  • janu88

    Posts: 346

    Sep 15, 2012 9:29 AM GMT
    GREEKy saidSo... I went alone. Made an acquiantance. icon_smile.gif Hopefully more next time


    cheers! icon_smile.gif
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Sep 19, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    I go out alone all the time, and I did when I was single. I find it best to pick a bar that has a good night life as well as a good happy hour. That way you can start going to happy hour/after work a few times, it is usually less crowded, less loud and people are more into social chatting than hooking up. It allows you to get to know some people who frequent the bar and get to know some of the bartenders. That way if you go out of a Friday or Saturday night and it's packed you will feel safer and less awkward cause you're bound to recognize a familiar face or two.