How do you get rid of deep feelings for another?

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    Sep 09, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    I know im going to regret posting this but I want some input.

    I got a friend who I MET in 7th grade. We were both chunky hunky monkeys back then. I hav't seen him since then and now that we go to the same college he lost nearly all his fat and I gained a bunch of muscle. Theres a brotherly connection going on as if 7 years ago never happened. He's Straight but he also recently broke up with his GF.

    He likes joking around with me but he never has time to hang out. As soon as class is over he takes off for work and I don't hear from him. I kinda have these feelings that were dormant back in 7th grade, that I am trying to make sure they don't surface. I somtimes get moody when i think about him cause I feel like he's being real friendly becasue he wants to get somthing from me (not sex) or he's trying to get a head in life. I feel like I am apart of a joke.

    My Qustion to you guys is this: How do you get the feelings for others to go away? Love, Jealousy, Lust, Anger, insecurities, anxieties etc. How can I get him off my mind so that I don't get effected when/if I he fucks up and deserts me? This sounds shallow and weird but I don't need distractions especially during school.
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:14 AM GMT
    Just focus on meeting new people. You're in college. You should have plenty of opportunities.
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    u look 12
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 09, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    listent to XrixhX....hes a relatibely relaibale person
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    FORTRESS said We were both chunky hunky monkeys back then.


    Hahahahahahahahaha
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 09, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    You're in lust crush. You have to make the break .. don't see him, don't talk to him. It takes a while but in a few months you'll get over him.
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    crying+icecream+eating.gif
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:59 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidYou won't ever stop having feelings for people. Some dear friends of mine told me that it's natural and in reality you'll never want to not have feelings for these people.


    Aww that sounds like I am doomed. ahaha...awww...-_-

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    Sep 09, 2012 6:01 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidYou're in lust crush. You have to make the break .. don't see him, don't talk to him. It takes a while but in a few months you'll get over him.


    I'm screwed. He and his cousin both enrolled to the same gym as mine. so once a week we were going to meet up over there after our morning classes...fuck me...

    But i totally understand what you mean. Thnx
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    Sep 09, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    Import saidlistent to XrixhX....hes a relatibely relaibale person


    I'll take your word on it. thnx
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    Sep 09, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    FORTRESS said
    Trollileo saidYou won't ever stop having feelings for people. Some dear friends of mine told me that it's natural and in reality you'll never want to not have feelings for these people.


    Aww that sounds like I am doomed. ahaha...awww...-_-


    .
    Oh I don't think so. The feelings you have tell you about you. At one point you'll meet someone who feels the same way you feel about them, and you'll appreciate it and value it that much more remembering how you felt (that is, how you're feeling now)

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    Sep 09, 2012 7:31 AM GMT
    FORTRESS said
    Trollileo saidYou won't ever stop having feelings for people. Some dear friends of mine told me that it's natural and in reality you'll never want to not have feelings for these people.


    Aww that sounds like I am doomed. ahaha...awww...-_-



    The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts.
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    Sep 09, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    You mean not everyone feels about me the way I feel about them? I can have feelings for someone while they have no feelings for me? Well, that hardly seems fair!
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    Sep 09, 2012 11:33 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    FORTRESS said
    Trollileo saidYou won't ever stop having feelings for people. Some dear friends of mine told me that it's natural and in reality you'll never want to not have feelings for these people.


    Aww that sounds like I am doomed. ahaha...awww...-_-


    .
    Oh I don't think so. The feelings you have tell you about you. At one point you'll meet someone who feels the same way you feel about them, and you'll appreciate it and value it that much more remembering how you felt (that is, how you're feeling now)



    Thats awesome man. So the feelings tell me what kind of person I am after? Or like what charcteristics do I feel for in another?
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    Sep 10, 2012 1:42 AM GMT
    FORTRESS said
    meninlove said
    FORTRESS said
    Trollileo saidYou won't ever stop having feelings for people. Some dear friends of mine told me that it's natural and in reality you'll never want to not have feelings for these people.


    Aww that sounds like I am doomed. ahaha...awww...-_-


    .
    Oh I don't think so. The feelings you have tell you about you. At one point you'll meet someone who feels the same way you feel about them, and you'll appreciate it and value it that much more remembering how you felt (that is, how you're feeling now)



    Thats awesome man. So the feelings tell me what kind of person I am after? Or like what charcteristics do I feel for in another?


    Your feelings tell you how much you can love, and later when someone comes along who reciprocates it, you appreciate it that much more and how amazing and worth working on it is.

    icon_wink.gif
  • kevjo

    Posts: 38

    Sep 10, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    I saw somewhere recently that you those feelings never really go away until you meet someone new. I think that's true for the most part. Just be open to meeting other people.
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    Sep 10, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    Time will solve this issue most likely.
  • camfer

    Posts: 891

    Sep 10, 2012 2:22 AM GMT
    Well you've tried suppressing and it hasn't worked. So maybe it's time to explore the opposite. Lock yourself in your room and for one hour or more just feel it, feel all of it. All the insecurity, sense of worthlessness, the lust, rage, fear, the whole stinking mess. Don't act out on it, but let it flow from you. When you have felt it fully, you have faced it, and you can be done with it. This is a boyhood crush; as you become a man you set aside boyhood things.

    Suppressing it gives it life and starts a whole mind spin around it. I can't say what you will discover, but you might find that at the core of who you are, none of this stuff matters, and you're okay and at peace.

    Find the strength in who you are. When you are solid in that, others are not going to affect you so much.
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    Sep 10, 2012 2:30 AM GMT
    camfer saidWell you've tried suppressing and it hasn't worked. So maybe it's time to explore the opposite. Lock yourself in your room and for one hour or more just feel it, feel all of it. All the insecurity, sense of worthlessness, the lust, rage, fear, the whole stinking mess. Don't act out on it, but let it flow from you. When you have felt it fully, you have faced it, and you can be done with it. This is a boyhood crush; as you become a man you set aside boyhood things.

    Suppressing it gives it life and starts a whole mind spin around it. I can't say what you will discover, but you might find that at the core of who you are, none of this stuff matters, and you're okay and at peace.

    Find the strength in who you are. When you are solid in that, others are not going to affect you so much.


    Listen to Camfer. He gives stellar advice.
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    Sep 10, 2012 2:34 AM GMT
    camfer saidWell you've tried suppressing and it hasn't worked. So maybe it's time to explore the opposite. Lock yourself in your room and for one hour or more just feel it, feel all of it. All the insecurity, sense of worthlessness, the lust, rage, fear, the whole stinking mess. Don't act out on it, but let it flow from you. When you have felt it fully, you have faced it, and you can be done with it. This is a boyhood crush; as you become a man you set aside boyhood things.

    Suppressing it gives it life and starts a whole mind spin around it. I can't say what you will discover, but you might find that at the core of who you are, none of this stuff matters, and you're okay and at peace.

    Find the strength in who you are. When you are solid in that, others are not going to affect you so much.


    This gave me goosebumps. What an excellent practice.
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    Sep 10, 2012 10:50 AM GMT
    OP...You have to work thru these feelings...You can't bury or suppress them!
    Take a logical perspective… You being a gay man..you have to be respectful of your straight friend..After all…He’s STRAIGHT…!

    I have had crushes on straight friends before … but I was ashamed and terrified of ruining these relationships…you will always meet straight hot friends… you have to learn to contain your feelings !

    “How can I get him off my mind so that I don't get effected when/if I he fucks up and deserts me? “.. yikes!!
    He’s not with you!!..he’s your straight friend ..remember!..
    Get a hold of yourself dude!!..Stop obsessing!

  • kiwi_nomad

    Posts: 316

    Sep 10, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    I wish I could shake the feelings I have for my workmate at the moment!
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    Sep 10, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    Oh, I know the feeling dude. You just have to live your life, not focus on him and hope someone just as special comes along.
    I'm still waiting for my special somebody. :I
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    Sep 13, 2012 5:13 AM GMT
    camfer saidWell you've tried suppressing and it hasn't worked. So maybe it's time to explore the opposite. Lock yourself in your room and for one hour or more just feel it, feel all of it. All the insecurity, sense of worthlessness, the lust, rage, fear, the whole stinking mess. Don't act out on it, but let it flow from you. When you have felt it fully, you have faced it, and you can be done with it. This is a boyhood crush; as you become a man you set aside boyhood things.

    Suppressing it gives it life and starts a whole mind spin around it. I can't say what you will discover, but you might find that at the core of who you are, none of this stuff matters, and you're okay and at peace.

    Find the strength in who you are. When you are solid in that, others are not going to affect you so much.


    Bro thats neat. I never thought of that before.
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    Sep 13, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Anocxu said...You can't bury or suppress them!
    Take a logical perspective...learn to contain your feelings !

    “How can I get him off my mind so that I don't get effected when/if I he fucks up and deserts me? “.. yikes!!
    He’s not with you!!..he’s your straight friend ..remember!..



    "Deserts me"....yeah that was an over-exaggeration. I talked with him...the BS anxiety went away. We go to the gym together so I know he's legit now. WE actually came home tonight. he's straight and yeah I can respect that. I have lots of hot sstr8 friends already. But ima just stay positive and learn to contain my emotions. HE doesn't suspect a thing...and yeah the only reason for that is cuz im still in the closet.

    Gym buddies now. And hopefully respectable friends in the long run.
    It has been dealt.