Feedback-Please Read and Help

  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 2:55 AM GMT
    Hey Everybody, I could use some advice from you guys about something thats important to me. Ive posted many topics in the past about this but this is def. very important.

    So Ive been mentoring two brothers and its been almost ONE year. Your suppose to keep track of these types of things because they are really important(start date).

    Ive been so involved with them in almost every aspect of their life and have spent so much time with both of them. Ive developed a very close relationship with both of them through the ups and downs and look at them as my real little brothers.

    So Ive been thinking that I would like some feedback once the 1 year mark comes from them. Im not sure if I'll have their counselor get feedback from each of them about me or if Me and their counselor can come up with a feedbck questionare or something like that.

    But anyways....I was wondering if you guys could give me some really good, in depth and important questions that would be good to ask these two about me being in their lives and how ive been as a mentor ect ect ect????

    I would like a lot of them because when your dealing with teenagers and the mood swings and hormones and on top of that these two are highly emotional...it can be tricky to know where you stand with them ya know?

    Please write some questions in the reply box. The more questions the better, I really want some really great ways to have them give me feedback because this means so much to me.

    Thankyou
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    This is really important to me...Pleae help Guys
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    Sep 09, 2012 3:47 AM GMT
    You'll want to word the questions properly but maybe some things like:
    - Do you feel you have benefited from knowing your mentor?
    - If so, how?
    - If not, do you feel that your mentor is not doing something that you would like them to do?
    - What things could your mentor do to make the mentoring a better experience for you?
    - Are there certain topics of discussion that you feel you can't talk about with your mentor?
    - If so, what do you think your mentor could do to help gain your trust?

    If I weren't tired atm I'm sure I could come up with a few more.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    McQueen saidYou'll want to word the questions properly but maybe some things like:
    - Do you feel you have benefited from knowing your mentor?
    - If so, how?
    - If not, do you feel that your mentor is not doing something that you would like them to do?
    - What things could your mentor do to make the mentoring a better experience for you?
    - Are there certain topics of discussion that you feel you can't talk about with your mentor?
    - If so, what do you think your mentor could do to help gain your trust?

    If I weren't tired atm I'm sure I could come up with a few more.


    Great questions these are exactly the types of questions Im looking for. I def would like to get as many questions as possible. Im around these two an their family all the time so it would be nice to get some responses from them on where I fit into their world and if they like me around ect ect
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    comical44 saidGreat questions these are exactly the types of questions Im looking for. I def would like to get as many questions as possible. Im around these two an their family all the time so it would be nice to get some responses from them on where I fit into their world and if they like me around ect ect
    You could definitely ask something like "How does your family feel about you having a mentor? Are they supportive?" and maybe "Do you feel that your parents pressured you into having a mentor or was it a mutual decision?"
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    Wellim around their family constantly I got over for dinner and I talk to their mother through out the week on the phone all the time.

    Their family loves me in their lives. They were both asked before I started if they wanted me to mentor them by their case worker and they both said yes. U?s 3 get along great....I get into arguments with them all the time though lol almost how brothers would.

    Its just that hese 2 are very moody and emotional....one day their one way and the next day their a whole other way towards me. Thats how they are and they are also going through the hormones stage ect ect. They both have told me they love me and how important I am in their lives and that im the best romodel to them...and then the next day they can be little shitheads to me.

    It would just be nice to have questions I can ask them that will give me a really great sense on how they feel about me and about me being in their lives and things along those lines.
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:23 AM GMT
    That's really awesome that you are mentoring! It sounds like a great experience. Just out of complete curiosity; how old are these two? A questionnaire for teenagers may be a bit different than one for under middle school aged kids. Mcqueen pretty much hit it spot on with his questionnaire and maybe even asking "did the mentor ever offend you? If so, how?" could possibly be good. Also, maybe even having a general comments box as to what they would like to see from the relationship can offer some intriguing insight.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    censorthis1 saidThat's really awesome that you are mentoring! It sounds like a great experience. Just out of complete curiosity; how old are these two? A questionnaire for teenagers may be a bit different than one for under middle school aged kids. Mcqueen pretty much hit it spot on with his questionnaire and maybe even asking "did the mentor ever offend you? If so, how?" could possibly be good. Also, maybe even having a general comments box as to what they would like to see from the relationship can offer some intriguing insight.


    Hey the brothers are 16 yr old twins. They are awesome. Its a very open ended mentorship set up through their parents and case worker. Im around them probably a little more than a typical mentor and do things for them that a "mentor" might not do. Im very involved in their lives and around their family a lot as well. I mean Ive went with one of them to get "tested" at the dr's office lol.

    I do hw with them, go their sporting events, give them advice and have talks, music lessons to zip-lining to concerts ect ect. I come over and have dinner with them and their family. Sometimes they will call me at midnight for advice. I mean its almost like they are an extension of my family. I even take them driving because they just got their permits

    Just would be nice to get feedback and even though this is so open ended I still like it to have structure and that will be a great way for me to know how i am doing and how they think and feel about me ya know?
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    Sep 09, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    Why are you mentoring them, if they have parents?
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    Caslon20000 saidWhy are you mentoring them, if they have parents?


    Um because they needed an older male romodel in their life. Their step dad works a lot and thei mom has health issues. Also they are at risk teenagers and have gotten into trouble in the past.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 3:42 PM GMT
    Come on guys...I need more questions please....Thankyou
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    Sep 09, 2012 3:53 PM GMT
    OP..take a good look at the Mcqueen's post..
    Dissect and multiply..

    -What was your life like before your mentor!
    -Do you feel you have benefited from knowing your mentor?
    -If so,how?
    -List 5 things that you love doing with your mentor
    -List 5 things you love about your mentor's personality..
    - If not, do you feel that your mentor is not doing something that you would like them to do?

    and so on...
    He gave you a solid foundation..use it and build..
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidOP..take a good look at the Mcqueen's post..
    Disect and multiply..

    -What was your life like before your mentor!
    -Do you feel you have benefited from knowing your mentor?
    -If so,how?
    -List 5 things that you love doing with your mentor
    -List 5 things you love about your mentor's personality..
    - If not, do you feel that your mentor is not doing something that you would like them to do?

    and so on...
    He gave you a solid foundation..use it and build..


    Those questions are really good....Thank you...wouldnt have thought of any of those...

    Keep the questions coming guys, appreciate it.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    Also ....

    So it the last year ive really gone out of my way for them inmany areas of their life. Ive done a lot of behind the scenes things for them that they dont know of just to make their life better and easier. I picked them up from school, bought them things( because of their families financial situation theirs a lot they dont have) and even payed for music lessons out of pocked ect. I NEVER want anything in return for anything ive done....So what are some questions I could ask them to see if they really recognize and appreciate those things?

    Please guys if you read all this just help me with some questions, I really need imput
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 09, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    comical44 saidAlso ....

    So it the last year ive really gone out of my way for them inmany areas of their life. Ive done a lot of behind the scenes things for them that they dont know of just to make their life better and easier. I picked them up from school, bought them things( because of their families financial situation theirs a lot they dont have) and even payed for music lessons out of pocked ect. I NEVER want anything in return for anything ive done....So what are some questions I could ask them to see if they really recognize and appreciate those things?

    Please guys if you read all this just help me with some questions, I really need imput


    actually, in terms of assessing these sorts of things, many questions don't do much. rather, most people start with an open question and focus on the developing the answers given. If they have a counselor, let him/her do his/her job in terms of evaluation.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    I know what you mean calibro. She was actually their case worker and me and her work together with this mentorship because its not something she normally does (setting up mentorships). Shes really smart with this kind of stuff but I just figured maybe they could fill out a feeback form because t might be easier for them to open up about things ya know?
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    How do you feel your mentor has prepared you as you move into adulthood?
    What qualities about your mentor do you try to incorporate in your own life?
    What positive results have you experienced from working with a mentor both in and out of school?
    If you chose to be a mentor in the future, what specifically would you do the same as your mentor and what would you do differently?
    What role has your mentor filled in your life that wasn't being filled by any other adult?
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    @ Coach Mike-Great questions!...Also Ive only been mentoring them for a year (feels like Ive known them for my whole life)...I also plan to continue to mentor them and be in their lives...I guess I justy dont want some of these questions to put the vibe out that "im done with them" or that "ive been doing it for 5 years" or something
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:39 PM GMT
    comical44 said@ Coach Mike-Great questions!...Also Ive only been mentoring them for a year (feels like Ive known them for my whole life)...I also plan to continue to mentor them and be in their lives...I guess I justy dont want some of these questions to put the vibe out that "im done with them" or that "ive been doing it for 5 years" or something

    That's great. They probably need mentoring at 16 more than ever.
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    Sep 09, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    At least in the professional sphere, focused interviews are conducted with a set of potential questions, like you're asking for. Just as advice on the format, your counselor should ask a foundational, open question, and go from there. At lulls in the conversation, or if they are hard to open up, she can resort to the other questions on the list.

    Some questions are better than others - for example, Coach Mike's question, "If you chose to be a mentor in the future, what specifically would you do the same as your mentor and what would you do differently," is excellent. It asks them to envisage themselves in a scenario, and requires a lot of feedback. Yes/no questions aren't a very good option ("Has your mentor helped you?"). Very broad, open questions can be difficult as opening fodder as well ("What do you like about having a mentor?"). Especially with teenagers that may be a bit lazy when it comes to thinking these sorts of things through.

    Don't do a feedback form.
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    Sep 09, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    Cranky_No_More saidI'm not at all sure a questionnaire is even a good idea.
    It might make the boys feel like they're some kind of science project.


    +1
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    Great advice guys....I was wondering abou a feedback form....I mean I dont want them to feel weird or like a science project. I just thought that with a form they will have the ability to get into detail through writing because they both like to write and wasnt sure if they will go into as much detail through talking.

    So if their case worker asks these questions...Should I be present or should she ask them the questions, 1 on 1, write down the answers and then share them with me??
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    Sep 09, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    comical44 saidGreat advice guys....I was wondering abou a feedback form....I mean I dont want them to feel weird or like a science project. I just thought that with a form they will have the ability to get into detail through writing because they both like to write and wasnt sure if they will go into as much detail through talking.

    So if their case worker asks these questions...Should I be present or should she ask them the questions, 1 on 1, write down the answers and then share them with me??


    You shouldn't be there.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Sep 09, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Ok just wondering...Thats why I want feedback and take dvantage of having this forum to use.

    So basically heres my question...I really want some detailed, thoughtful and meaningful feedback from these 2.....so how should it go??

    Also should I give her feedback on each one of them and have her tell them or should I tell them myself?
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    Sep 09, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    No, you definitely shouldn't be there. I'm not even sure you should get a detailed description of what they said. They'd probably feel more comfortable answering the questions if they knew their answers were confidential and then their case worker could present you with an overview of what's working and what's not.