Clingers

  • new_jock1990

    Posts: 10

    Sep 10, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    My boyfriend keeps telling me that I'm a "Clinger" sometimes. Please help me understand what I'm doing wrong... I don't want to be a clinger. I like him a lot and wouldn't want to push him away.

    So what exactly is a Clinger?
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Sep 10, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    Well you haven't really told us about anything you do, but typically someone who's considered "clingy" makes excessive demands of another for attention and/or reassurance. They usually have a problem giving boyfriends their own space and tend to stick close to them around others. It's a VERY subjective term; everyone desires a different level of give and take in a relationship. So the question is ... what do you do that might make you seem clingy?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    Ask your boyfriend what things you do he considers "clingy." Then don't do those things as often.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said{girlfriend}

    You forget the best one
    25444813.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 10:31 AM GMT
    OP I have been accused of the opposite so I think I might have some pointers for you..

    There is a legitimate reason you are being clingy...
    Is this a new relationship?..Is your boyfriend distant or “stand-off-ish?”

    Being together does not necessarily mean...’you have to be in each others face!’..your boyfriend wants you to give him some breathing room!..

    Your best bet is to sit and have a talk with him…tell him to be completely honest or the problem will not get solved…

    OP...Brace yourself for this talk!… you might hear things about yourself that will anger you...Contain yourself...Bite your tongue…do not be combative… he will start holding back if you start reacting and the issue will never get solved!..

    Consider his words ..make the adjustments and move on with a bigger stronger relationship!!

    Hugz?...not too close!..i stil have a morning b*ner... icon_biggrin.gif
    (your profile saids you are single?..hhhmm?)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    Sometimes cold people call affectionate people clingy. Maybe thats all it is in which case there's nothing wrong with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    It's different for every relationship. Remember that the person who wants the relationship the most has the least power. Oftentimes the more reserved guy with the power is the one who ascribes clinginess to the guy who wants the relationship more. You'd have to ask him, though, because what some label as clinginess others seem to label as affectionate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 9:29 PM GMT

    The term is subjective. The guys above me have made excellent points.

    Have you asked him what in particular he finds clingy?

    I dated one guy who called me clingy.
    The next guy I dated called me distant, yet my behaviour was the same. Confusing, eh? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 9:44 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    The term is subjective. The guys above me have made excellent points.

    Have you asked him what in particular he finds clingy?

    I dated one guy who called me clingy.
    The next guy I dated called me distant, yet my behaviour was the same. Confusing, eh? icon_wink.gif
    True.. its all in the eyes of the 'cling-on'.icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 10, 2012 11:47 PM GMT
    I agree with what others have said: how "clingy" you are is all relative. It's largely determined by the other person.

    Anocxu's advice is spot on. I'd start with that and try to leave emotion at the door when you talk about it. Compromise is healthy in a relationship, so the outcome may very well be that both of you need to change a bit.

    On a slightly similar note: do "clingy" guys exhibit the kind of behavior/treatment that they would like to receive in return? (Basically, is it a "golden rule" kind of thing - treat the other person the way you'd like to be treated?)

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 11, 2012 12:35 AM GMT
    Is this a new relationship? Are you committed to one another?

    When a guy says that early on in a relationship, it means you're not endearing yourself to him. He probably doesn't feel as strongly as you do. Unfortunately you can't make him love you.

    Personally I think you should look for someone with less of an ego, who appreciates your affections. icon_smile.gif
  • new_jock1990

    Posts: 10

    Sep 11, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    This is a very fresh relationship. We have been dating for 4 months now. Exclusively dating. I am very affectionate and he is too but I'm more verbal with my feelings. He isn't. He's more reserved and I feel stupid sometimes for telling him how I feel about certain things.

    I like spending time with him but you guys are right. I need to give him space.


    This is my first relationship with a guy. I am learning new things every day.

    So what are the 5 major things in a relationship that most gay couple should do to keep there relationship healthy? What should I try to avoid doing to not be called a "Clinger".
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Sep 11, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    It was hot and sweaty yesterday. I had clingers. Talcum powder helped.

    Seriously, don't you know?

    Clinger was that guy on Mash that was always dressing up.



    Your boyfriend is saying not to crowd him.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    Clingy wears me out, and it always happens, the last 5x have all been very similar, the last guy tried to play like he was gonna b homeless if he couldnt move in w/ me, we had only been hanging out for a month, its possible that some of us arent cold or unaffectionate, but possibly waiting for the crazy to surface, it always seems to, it always seems to b them madly in love in less than a month, and me going GTFO! 1 month? Srsly? No u cannot move in! Thats more like 6 months for me, guess im a slow operator. And no, for god sakes nothing is wrong, why does shit always have to b wrong? im buzy, tired, work my ass off, and bust my ass at the gym, damn, now i gotta deal w/ needy too! Hells no! I just dont understand wat the rush is. Its extremely possible that hes very ok with everything exactly as it is
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 11, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    new_jock1990 saidThis is a very fresh relationship. We have been dating for 4 months now. Exclusively dating. I am very affectionate and he is too but I'm more verbal with my feelings. He isn't. He's more reserved and I feel stupid sometimes for telling him how I feel about certain things.

    I like spending time with him but you guys are right. I need to give him space.


    This is my first relationship with a guy. I am learning new things every day.

    So what are the 5 major things in a relationship that most gay couple should do to keep there relationship healthy? What should I try to avoid doing to not be called a "Clinger".


    He's calling you clingy after four months? That's a red flag, hon. Four months is the time when you should be getting closer emotionally, but he's pushing you away. I don't want to steer you in the wrong direction, but if you really want advice, I'd say to focus on your common interests and see where it goes, however if he's being cold or distant you might want to break it off and find someone a little more serious about you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 11, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    I thought this thread was gonna be about clingons circling yur anus
  • new_jock1990

    Posts: 10

    Sep 11, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    HottJoe

    Thanks man.

    Thank you guys all. This post has helped me out a lot.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Sep 11, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    When a guys tells you you're too "clingy" that's not a good sign - it's a fuckin' big red flag. It's his way of saying he's uncomfortable with aspects of the relationship. Ask him to share his feelings honestly and be prepared to hear some things you won't want to hear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 12, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    A "clinger" is someone who doesn't have a life of his own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 12, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidoverly-attached-girlfriend-300.jpg

    stalker-much-o--o_o_404587.jpg

    g1340240747387224054.jpg

    1340059170772749_animate.gif

    1339817042423187.jpg

    133945848869864.jpg

    1339137637991446.jpg

    1339137594712231.jpg

    1339137430505402.jpg

    1339137145931207.jpg

    Great way get guys to leave alone... LOL!