Submissive tops?

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    Sep 12, 2012 9:07 PM GMT
    Are there any bottoms out there that like a submissive top? Thus far I really prefer topping, because playing with and pounding a nice tight ass really turns me on. But, I am an inately passive person, so I usually hate having to take control during sex. I'm often so focused on what I am doing and making sure that the bottom is enjoying himself, that I can't enjoy myself. Whenever I meet a guy to top him I feel like I am expected to make the decisions and make sure we enjoy ourselves. Is taking charge what makes a good top? or are there bottoms that like telling me where to put it, how deep, how fast, and how hard?
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    Sep 12, 2012 9:21 PM GMT
    I can totally relate to this. I don't like having to make the decisions. Honestly if you're bottoming for me, I want to do it the way YOU like it. Just tell me, don't ask me.
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    Sep 12, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    I'll start by saying I'm a virgin with no experience so I may not know what I'm talking about
    I Don't think I can speak for all bottoms, but I do like the idea of a submissive top. I'm not the most dominant person, but I do like the idea of taking the lead every now and then as a bottom. icon_twisted.gif
    As far as hook-ups go, if you want to top, your gonna have to be a dominant top. Its just whats expected I think.icon_rolleyes.gif But for relationships, you can switch it up every once in awhile. Switching between him taking the lead and you taking the lead can help you find what works best.
    In my opinion, a top is good when he knows what he's doing, but not necesarily dominant. As long as you get the bottom ready to be topped, and top him so he enjoys it, your good. Dominance can add an extra something too it (and for some reason people expect it) but its not necessary. Tops aren't good because they have a big dick, its because he knows how to make the sex great.
    I'm sure there are some bottoms that like setting the pace, but I'm not sure if everyone is like that. Just ask if he wants to take the lead, or ask how he wants it done (positions, what relaxes him/turns him on). If he doesn't say, I don't know if he has much of a right to complain if the sex is bad icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 12, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Bottoms detest passive or submissive tops. They might just as well sit on a pink dildo.
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    Sep 12, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidBottoms detest passive or submissive tops. They might just as well sit on a pink dildo.


    Wrong. Submissive is not "passive". Submissive means we want a power bottom to go all stripper over us, throw us into bed and pull the ropes. We arent going to sit there like a dead fish and read a magazine. Submissive is an ACTIVE role used here to mean simply "the one who isnt dominant", not "the one who takes it like a bitch"
    In my case, I hate deciding positions, since I'm fine with any. If you ask me "how do you want it?", "where do you want to...?" I don't know you tell me! I don't like talking anyway.

    On the contrary, when I'm with other tops, I like to be more in control. Weird.
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    AeroNalex said
    DOMINUS saidBottoms detest passive or submissive tops. They might just as well sit on a pink dildo.


    Wrong. Submissive is not "passive". Submissive means we want a power bottom to go all stripper over us, throw us into bed and pull the ropes. We arent going to sit there like a dead fish and read a magazine. Submissive is an ACTIVE role used here to mean simply "the one who isnt dominant", not "the one who takes it like a bitch"
    In my case, I hate deciding positions, since I'm fine with any. If you ask me "how do you want it?", "where do you want to...?" I don't know you tell me! I don't like talking anyway.


    We are on the same page. Sex is all good to me if I get to play with your ass somehow, so I would rather you tell me how you like it.
    I feel bad about myself for not wanting to make decisions, since the alpha male seems to be prized as "the ideal man" both in gay bedrooms and in the world at large. But, I'd like to think there is just as much value in someone who is accomodating and responsive. If you make me do what you want, I am quite adept at doing it and would take great pleasure in getting you off and making you happy. There are also those days or moments when I just want to have my way with you, but it would be nice to find a bottom where that doesn't feel like the automatic expectation.
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    ChestArmMusclelover saidAs far as hook-ups go, if you want to top, your gonna have to be a dominant top. Its just whats expected I think.icon_rolleyes.gif But for relationships, you can switch it up every once in awhile. Switching between him taking the lead and you taking the lead can help you find what works best.


    You're right there is a difference between hook-ups and sex within a relationship. Hopefully, with lots of experimentation, patience and a little compromise, sexual dynamics in a relationship will evolve in a way that is genuinely fulfilling for both partners.
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    DOMINUS said
    AeroNalex said
    DOMINUS saidBottoms detest passive or submissive tops. They might just as well sit on a pink dildo.


    Wrong. Submissive is not "passive". Submissive means we want a power bottom to go all stripper over us, throw us into bed and pull the ropes. We arent going to sit there like a dead fish and read a magazine. Submissive is an ACTIVE role used here to mean simply "the one who isnt dominant", not "the one who takes it like a bitch"
    In my case, I hate deciding positions, since I'm fine with any. If you ask me "how do you want it?", "where do you want to...?" I don't know you tell me! I don't like talking anyway.

    On the contrary, when I'm with other tops, I like to be more in control. Weird.


    I will say it again: a submissive top is nothing more than a human dildo.


    Ok, I don't see why "dominant" and "top" or "submissive" and "bottom" need to be attached. To me dominance is tied to personality, whereas top/bottom is a sexual preference. So thanks for you input, but I'd also like to get the perspective of the "dominant tops" out there who perhaps don't feel you speak for them.
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    Sep 13, 2012 8:12 AM GMT
    How insanely boring...

    But hell I don't like a submissive bottom either...

    But I'll fight tooth and nail to be in charge if I'm in the mood hahaha
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:48 PM GMT
    flat generalizations of behavior lead to cardboard cutouts....as part of planned obsolescence......
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    Sep 14, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    Submissive top? Well, not so much submissive as obedient and willing to please me. Those are my favourites.
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    Oct 08, 2012 8:00 AM GMT
    I could get along well with a submissive top. I usually like to make it a great experience for my tops, so I pay attention to detail, and suggest different things if I notice he isn't enjoying it as much. It's almost like nicely coaching him into doing various things lol