First kiss - is this what it actually feels like??

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    Sep 13, 2012 12:09 AM GMT
    Only yesterday, I had my very first date, kiss and sex with a guy(never done anything with a girl either).
    I'm finally cool with being gay(not out yet except to a close friend) and realized that it's high time to get down to have some new experience and enjoy life.
    I've been trying to find a nice guy to hang out with and have some experience.

    I've recently found a pretty hot Brazilian dude online and we decided to meet up to grab a drink. So we went out last night(he was much hotter than I had realized), started getting to know each and had a good time.
    He didn't have much time because he had to meet up with his mum later, so he said he would leave his stuff at his house and walk me to the metro station.
    I hadn't planned to get to do anything at all that night, but I should have seen it coming: at his house, he turned the light off and started kissing me.
    I was looking forward to it, he's a great guy, funny, easy-going, made me feel at ease all the time etc.
    Just....

    Is kissing always like that? I didn't really enjoy much of it. It felt quite slimy, his tongue was dampish and kind of gummy-likish...
    We moved on to other things too and that was great.
    I didn't really have proper sex(none of us had condoms) but I was absolutely fine with it. I wanted to take things slowy and he was really late and hadn't much time.

    Over all, I had a really good time. I'd like to se this guy again and see how things move on.

    Today we messaged a little and he wrote me:"listen, you're very cute, I like you, but I didn't really like your kiss"...
    This made me think:
    1)oh, maybe kissing might actually be more enjoyable that what it was like last night. Which is great news.
    2)Fuck, was I really so bad that this guy doesn't really want to see me anymore ?

    Obviously I know that things we'll get better with experience(mine was 0 until last night) but I don't really think it was a very good start and it kind of made me depressed a little...

    P.S. This could actually deserve another post, but it'll make the picture more complete: he was willing to have bareback but I didn't. I wanna be a doctor and whatever happens, STDs are not an option for my life and career.
    So, would you think it's worth having sex with a guy that could virtually have had bareback sex before, meaning there would be even a very slight option he could have any disease?

    Thanks for reading this guys, it's my first post ever and I'd like to hear your opinion. Hope it wasn't too long a post.

    P.P.S. First post doesn't mean I'm a fake! ;)
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:26 AM GMT
    Congrats on the first kiss. (Some of us have yet to get there yeticon_sad.gif but whatever) Unfortunately I can't help much here, but I will say this, constantly being bombarded by pictures of people kissing and having sex on T.V and movies may raise our expectations a bit high, which means when it comes to it in real-life it may not be as good as we hoped. Since he made a comment about not liking your kiss, it may just mean it was a bad kiss (don't feel bad, I'm sure the majority of us start that way). I would expect him to know bit more about it if he was more experienced than you. (I'm assuming he is)
    Since he was willing to bareback with you so easily I'm gonna say you dodged a bullet there. He may not have any STD's but that kind of behavior can be very telling.
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:32 AM GMT
    My... first kiss was so long ago. I was 18. It felt nice. It wasn't the best first kiss I ever had. In fact, in my parts (like you) it sucked. The kisser is totally relevant and the 'style' in which the kiss is important too.

    Plus breath/hygiene needs to be considered as well.

    My first time having sex was terrible (both ways). It doesn't have to be a magical first for it to be magical and wonderful. icon_smile.gif I think being matters a lot too-- along with chemistry and such.

    As for barebacking with a stranger, the answer is: HELLS NO. You don't know where he's been, what he's picked up, when is the last time he got tested, et cetera. Many diseases require a window of time before manifesting in results. Stay-away-from-barebacking unless you two are monogamous, of course. Even then, only do it once you know EVERYTHING.

    Hope that helps. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    Italian_Stallion saidP.S. This could actually deserve another post, but it'll make the picture more complete: he was willing to have bareback but I didn't. I wanna be a doctor and whatever happens, STDs are not an option for my life and career.
    So, would you think it's worth having sex with a guy that could virtually have had bareback sex before, meaning there would be even a very slight option he could have any disease?

    That's hella sketch. Offering to bareback on the first date raises red flags. Imagine all the other guys he could've offered to bareback with on the first time meeting them icon_eek.gif
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:43 AM GMT
    I actually meant what you would think of having safe sex with a guy who might do bareback every now and then. He said he doesn't have sex with that many guys, although he was able to make a fairly long(in my unexperienced opinion) list of his ex boyfriends.
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    Sep 13, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    Italian_Stallion saidI actually meant what you would think of having safe sex with a guy who might do bareback every now and then. He said he doesn't have sex with that many guys, although he was able to make a fairly long(in my unexperienced opinion) list of his ex boyfriends.


    Like I said, it depends on whether you're actually monogamous and going steady or not. I wouldn't do any kind of barebacking with someone who periodically has sex with you (e.g. a random fling). Always stay protected. You don't know who they are and you don't know where they come from.
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:17 AM GMT
    Italian_Stallion said

    I've recently found a pretty hot Brazilian dude online and we decided to meet up to grab a drink...

    ... I didn't really enjoy much of it. It felt quite slimy, his tongue was dampish and kind of gummy-likish...

    Over all, I had a really good time. I'd like to se this guy again and see how things move on.


    After living in Brazil for a year, here's what I've learned about Brazilian guys:
    MOST (don't want to generalize) Brazilian guys move really fast, much faster than American guys. Meaning, you go to a club, make eye contact with a guy, 2 seconds later, you're both making out full on. 30 seconds after that, you each move on. No words needed. In Brazil, kissing is nothing special. But that in no way means I want to short-change your first kiss!!!

    Also, the majority of Brazilian guys I've kissed weren't really good kissers. They're more aggressive, kind of sloppy, and it feels like they think you have a popsicle for a tongue. But I guess it depends, each person has their own way of kissing

    PS. ANY GUY that messages you and says that you're not a good kisser is a DOUCHEBAG and not worth the time/effort. NEXT!!
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    It sounds like you were just a trick, and he doesn't want you to get all clingy.

    But a bad kisser is a deal-breaker.
    Maybe you could practice with friend or something.
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    Italian_Stallion saidI actually meant what you would think of having safe sex with a guy who might do bareback every now and then. He said he doesn't have sex with that many guys, although he was able to make a fairly long(in my unexperienced opinion) list of his ex boyfriends.


    If its safe sex, then maybe. The problem is, you never know if he caught an std, without even knowing it. If like he says, he just had sex with his boyfriends, and he gets checked regulary then I don't see having safe sex with him as being too bad. The problem is you don't know if you can trust him. He may have multiple "friends" that may not count in his eyes. I could never trust someone unless I really knew him.
    Just make sure to be careful about who yo trust
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    I'm more friendship oriented than looking for a relationship so I'm not expecting much.
    I guess practice will be helpful too then LOL
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    MolaMola said
    Maybe you could practice with friend or something.


    Sounds like my type of friend icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    MolaMola saidIt sounds like you were just a trick, and he doesn't want you to get all clingy.

    But a bad kisser is a deal-breaker.
    Maybe you could practice with friend or something.


    Seriously? icon_confused.gif

    Friends don't make out with each other. That's why they're friends. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 13, 2012 8:11 AM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    MolaMola saidIt sounds like you were just a trick, and he doesn't want you to get all clingy.

    But a bad kisser is a deal-breaker.
    Maybe you could practice with friend or something.


    Seriously? icon_confused.gif

    Friends don't make out with each other. That's why they're friends. icon_cool.gif

    Maybe if you're a bad kisser they don't.

    OP was told he's a bad kisser, and he didn't seem to like it either. It would help him to have someone to practice kissing, who could critique his style. This is where a friend could help.
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    Sep 13, 2012 8:22 AM GMT
    First thing first!

    Bravo of not barebacking!

    Second... NO, that isn't a good first kiss..

    Sloppy wet kissing is never fun nor is slimy *shudders*

    Since it was your first time he needed to be in charge of it and should have been in the lead of how you kiss and should have been better at it!

    Every virgin I've kissed hasn't been great at it but one thing they've all been really great at is following my lead and doing as subconsciously told.

    I've no idea how this happens, but it happens... they just follow along.

    I've never had a first kiss with a guy that was slimy, wet, or anything else.. Although they like to complain about the pash rash hahahaha

    But anyway, don't go back to him... as cute as he is if he was willing to bareback with you he'll wanna do it later... so... go find some other hottie and have fun with him!
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    Sep 13, 2012 8:24 AM GMT
    MolaMola said
    ParadiseLost said
    MolaMola saidIt sounds like you were just a trick, and he doesn't want you to get all clingy.

    But a bad kisser is a deal-breaker.
    Maybe you could practice with friend or something.


    Seriously? icon_confused.gif

    Friends don't make out with each other. That's why they're friends. icon_cool.gif

    Maybe if you're a bad kisser they don't.

    OP was told he's a bad kisser, and he didn't seem to like it either. It would help him to have someone to practice kissing, who could critique his style. This is where a friend could help.


    Hmn... Well I suppose if the other person didn't mind and such. icon_surprised.gif Oh well, good luck and such OP. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 13, 2012 9:45 AM GMT
    Hey mate. congrats and as Lil'tanker said - well done on the choice of not barebacking.

    Kissing can be pretty subjective - people who have a personal style of kissing may not like an agressive tongue, wet kiss, while others might..

    So don't beat yourself up about it.

    Also after dinner and drinks, saliva can be slimier in some people depending on what they ate or drank.

    I think of my lips and tongue as sex organs themselves while making out, I love to lick and brush them against just about any part of my partners body..

    The use of your breath to warm or cool surfaces on your partner can also be hot, think breathing warm air on a nipple for example and then blowing on it as if you would to cool soup or coffee lightly, can make a nipple stand up and pay attention ;)

    Dont feel like you need to probe your partners mouth, or lick every surface, nor play tongue wrestle with them, just do what you think works at the time, you may not be right every time, but no-one is.. there are cues that you may want to look out for - when being kissed well, your partner can go wild, remember what did that and use it again to double check ;)

    Back to the Sex thing; As you're probably aware barebacking is pretty unsafe, you may get a BBV or STI that way.

    Certain types of STI's can be transmitted without intercourse, such as Syphillis, gonorrhoea and Chlamydia. Even from oral sex, although it is less likely.

    Having a partner without a condom on him, who offers to bareback on the first date - its more than likely you're not the first person he's ever offered to bareback with...

    And possible that behaviour has led him to contract an STI or BBV.

    You're now sexually active, and you now need to take responsibility by ensuring you get checked on a regular basis while you're sexually active.

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    Sep 14, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    I remember tongue being an acquired taste but just the feel of a man's stubble brushing against my face during my first kiss was electric and as goosebumps rose on my entire body I thought "This, this is what I'm made for."
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    With a girl or a guy??


    First kiss was with a girl. Didn't really do anything for me but I like to think you get what you put into it. The energy and exchange was pretty good.

    Worst kiss was with a guy, his tongue was all over the place. It was not sensual at all. But luckily I have only experienced one bad kisser.

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    Sep 14, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    Italian_Stallion saidOnly yesterday, I had my very first date, kiss and sex with a guy


    Well... That escalated quickly
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    Sep 14, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    Fantasy > reality.
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    Sep 14, 2012 6:51 AM GMT
    yesterr said
    Italian_Stallion saidOnly yesterday, I had my very first date, kiss and sex with a guy


    Well... That escalated quickly


    lolol
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    Sep 14, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    Photobucket
    This is what my first kiss felt like wonder if anyone gets the reference to what I mean...
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    Sep 14, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    Gaydar saidFantasy > reality.


    tumblr_ls3kp2fb9f1r317bvo1_500.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    FlawedAmigo saidPhotobucket
    This is what my first kiss felt like wonder if anyone gets the reference to what I mean...
    The Judas kiss! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 14, 2012 7:08 AM GMT
    Neight said
    FlawedAmigo saidPhotobucket
    This is what my first kiss felt like wonder if anyone gets the reference to what I mean...
    The Judas kiss! icon_biggrin.gif

    Exactly