Is not it enough to get discriminated for being gay

  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    well here is what happened to me, am feeling really sad, and just need to speak out

    as Arabic culture Homosexuality is totaly unaccepted, and marrigae is a must thing,
    i do not want to get married and just ruin my wife's life just to satisfy the society, and at same time do not want to disconnect from my family, i thought of seeking a Lesbian in the same sitiuation and try to have a MOC (marriage of conveniance) that will benifit each of us.
    i got some replies and got to contact a girl and that was the conversation:

    Girl:
    Am still intrerested in finding a suitable gay male for m.o.c.
    Kindly send me some pictures of you.
    let me know where ur from


    Me:
    Hey ........
    Well am an Arab, 27 yo, well educated and working in UAE
    Am so attached to my family, and would love to make them happy
    I am straight acting, and discreet, have been like that all my life and aiming to keep it like that. So I just wana get ready.

    Girl:
    "YUCKKKK!!!

    i do NOT want ur kind.

    last thing i need is an AL-QUEDA, TERRORIST BITCH WHORE like u as a husband.

    FUCK OFF U STUPID TERRORIST DICKHEAD!!

    i just wish to know what i have done wrong to get such a reply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    Sorry that happened to you. Close mindedness comes in all forms.
  • SuperGMS3

    Posts: 4

    Sep 13, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    I don't think you did anything wrong, just like rodan said, close minded ignorant people!
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Sep 13, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    There's always race issues involved as well as sexuality.

    I'm apparently a white super mist and a Nazi, like all white people. Didn't you know?
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    Sep 13, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    Romerolax, what is it like for married women in your culture? Are they equal or subservient? Perhaps that's why (is she a lesbian?) this gal got so hostile?

    intrigued,

    -Doug
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    Sep 13, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    chick is a bitch. leave it at that.


    lose the "straight acting" thing while you're at it..
  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    meninlove said Romerolax, what is it like for married women in your culture? Are they equal or subservient? Perhaps that's why (is she a lesbian?) this gal got so hostile?

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    well Doug, now a days women are getting even more rights than men in here, they r totaly equal in rights, and yes she is a Lesbian, and thats what hurt the most, is that i thought we share the same discrimination already, i may accept something like, "aha but am looking for some one from my culture" or whatever response, but with out being so harsh
    it took me like an hour to get back to my norm, i was really shocked and could not even reply back.
    i was always seeking relocating to a western country to get out, but honestly now am afraid
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 13, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    Where was this girl from?
    You need to be careful of opening yourself up to people you don't know, they could use it as black mail or they could marry you then drain you of all your money with threats to expose you.

    Unless your family would kill you if they found out you were gay, then you need to be the force of movement in your culture and stands up for your rights. And if your family would kill you over it, then they are not your family, they are just people that fate placed you with while you grew up and it is time for you to move on and leave those people behind you and live your own life and not theirs.
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    Sep 13, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    OP..she was down right rude and racist! You did not do anything wrong!..
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Sep 13, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidWhere was this girl from?
    You need to be careful of opening yourself up to people you don't know, they could use it as black mail or they could marry you then drain you of all your money with threats to expose you.

    Unless your family would kill you if they found out you were gay, then you need to be the force of movement in your culture and stands up for your rights. And if your family would kill you over it, then they are not your family, they are just people that fate placed you with while you grew up and it is time for you to move on and leave those people behind you and live your own life and not theirs.


    As someone who has been disowned by half his family, I hate when people say this shit. Yes, they are still your family, regardless of what they've done. And nothing hurts as much as losing their support. This whole "they aren't really your family then" line could not be more inaccurate, and generally could not come from anyone more uneducated about the issue.
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    Sep 13, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    Romerolax said
    meninlove said Romerolax, what is it like for married women in your culture? Are they equal or subservient? Perhaps that's why (is she a lesbian?) this gal got so hostile?

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    well Doug, now a days women are getting even more rights than men in here, they r totaly equal in rights, and yes she is a Lesbian, and thats what hurt the most, is that i thought we share the same discrimination already, i may accept something like, "aha but am looking for some one from my culture" or whatever response, but with out being so harsh
    it took me like an hour to get back to my norm, i was really shocked and could not even reply back.
    i was always seeking relocating to a western country to get out, but honestly now am afraid



    Well don't be afraid (easy for me to say, silly me) . All you found out here is that she's not a nice person at all, not even remotely, ugh. Consider how lucky you found out right at the get-go instead of later. Was she a lesbian in the country you're from?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 13, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    Medjai said
    AMoonHawk saidWhere was this girl from?
    You need to be careful of opening yourself up to people you don't know, they could use it as black mail or they could marry you then drain you of all your money with threats to expose you.

    Unless your family would kill you if they found out you were gay, then you need to be the force of movement in your culture and stands up for your rights. And if your family would kill you over it, then they are not your family, they are just people that fate placed you with while you grew up and it is time for you to move on and leave those people behind you and live your own life and not theirs.


    As someone who has been disowned by half his family, I hate when people say this shit. Yes, they are still your family, regardless of what they've done. And nothing hurts as much as losing their support. This whole "they aren't really your family then" line could not be more inaccurate, and generally could not come from anyone more uneducated about the issue.

    Eventually when you grow up and become the man you were meant to be, you will look back and realize they were not your family. The truth hurts, sorry, that's why you hate when people say this kind of 'shit'.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Sep 13, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    Medjai said
    AMoonHawk saidWhere was this girl from?
    You need to be careful of opening yourself up to people you don't know, they could use it as black mail or they could marry you then drain you of all your money with threats to expose you.

    Unless your family would kill you if they found out you were gay, then you need to be the force of movement in your culture and stands up for your rights. And if your family would kill you over it, then they are not your family, they are just people that fate placed you with while you grew up and it is time for you to move on and leave those people behind you and live your own life and not theirs.


    As someone who has been disowned by half his family, I hate when people say this shit. Yes, they are still your family, regardless of what they've done. And nothing hurts as much as losing their support. This whole "they aren't really your family then" line could not be more inaccurate, and generally could not come from anyone more uneducated about the issue.

    Eventually when you grow up and become the man you were meant to be, you will look back and realize they were not your family. The truth hurts, sorry, that's why you hate when people say this kind of 'shit'.


    No, it's wholely inaccurate, they've shirked in their familial responsibilities, sure. But they are still family just like before. To say otherwise is to make me no better than them for disowning me.

    And don't belittle me. "the man I was meant to be"? Really?
  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    Medjai said
    AMoonHawk saidWhere was this girl from?
    You need to be careful of opening yourself up to people you don't know, they could use it as black mail or they could marry you then drain you of all your money with threats to expose you.

    Unless your family would kill you if they found out you were gay, then you need to be the force of movement in your culture and stands up for your rights. And if your family would kill you over it, then they are not your family, they are just people that fate placed you with while you grew up and it is time for you to move on and leave those people behind you and live your own life and not theirs.


    As someone who has been disowned by half his family, I hate when people say this shit. Yes, they are still your family, regardless of what they've done. And nothing hurts as much as losing their support. This whole "they aren't really your family then" line could not be more inaccurate, and generally could not come from anyone more uneducated about the issue.

    Eventually when you grow up and become the man you were meant to be, you will look back and realize they were not your family. The truth hurts, sorry, that's why you hate when people say this kind of 'shit'.


    am sorry but i totally agree with Medjai, family will always be ur family
  • barracuda68

    Posts: 66

    Sep 13, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    Sadly as I've written here: http://www.terrylevine.com/2011/03/the-queer-case-of-racism-in-the-gay-community.html, persecuted people have no trouble persecuting others. I'm curious though, if the girl who replied to you was Jewish/Israeli, what would you have done? icon_smile.gif


    Romerolax saidwell here is what happened to me, am feeling really sad, and just need to speak out

    as Arabic culture Homosexuality is totaly unaccepted, and marrigae is a must thing,
    i do not want to get married and just ruin my wife's life just to satisfy the society, and at same time do not want to disconnect from my family, i thought of seeking a Lesbian in the same sitiuation and try to have a MOC (marriage of conveniance) that will benifit each of us.
    i got some replies and got to contact a girl and that was the conversation:

    Girl:
    Am still intrerested in finding a suitable gay male for m.o.c.
    Kindly send me some pictures of you.
    let me know where ur from


    Me:
    Hey ........
    Well am an Arab, 27 yo, well educated and working in UAE
    Am so attached to my family, and would love to make them happy
    I am straight acting, and discreet, have been like that all my life and aiming to keep it like that. So I just wana get ready.

    Girl:
    "YUCKKKK!!!

    i do NOT want ur kind.

    last thing i need is an AL-QUEDA, TERRORIST BITCH WHORE like u as a husband.

    FUCK OFF U STUPID TERRORIST DICKHEAD!!

    i just wish to know what i have done wrong to get such a reply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Romerolax said
    meninlove said Romerolax, what is it like for married women in your culture? Are they equal or subservient? Perhaps that's why (is she a lesbian?) this gal got so hostile?

    intrigued,

    -Doug


    well Doug, now a days women are getting even more rights than men in here, they r totaly equal in rights, and yes she is a Lesbian, and thats what hurt the most, is that i thought we share the same discrimination already, i may accept something like, "aha but am looking for some one from my culture" or whatever response, but with out being so harsh
    it took me like an hour to get back to my norm, i was really shocked and could not even reply back.
    i was always seeking relocating to a western country to get out, but honestly now am afraid



    Well don't be afraid (easy for me to say, silly me) . All you found out here is that she's not a nice person at all, not even remotely, ugh. Consider how lucky you found out right at the get-go instead of later. Was she a lesbian in the country you're from?

    yes, u r right, it would have ben worth, she is a lesbian, do not know which country she is from exactly, she got my email from one of the sites and emailed me
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Sep 13, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif kids
  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    barracuda68 saidSadly as I've written here: http://www.terrylevine.com/2011/03/the-queer-case-of-racism-in-the-gay-community.html, persecuted people have no trouble persecuting others. I'm curious though, if the girl who replied to you was Jewish/Israeli, what would you have done? icon_smile.gif


    Romerolax saidwell here is what happened to me, am feeling really sad, and just need to speak out

    as Arabic culture Homosexuality is totaly unaccepted, and marrigae is a must thing,
    i do not want to get married and just ruin my wife's life just to satisfy the society, and at same time do not want to disconnect from my family, i thought of seeking a Lesbian in the same sitiuation and try to have a MOC (marriage of conveniance) that will benifit each of us.
    i got some replies and got to contact a girl and that was the conversation:

    Girl:
    Am still intrerested in finding a suitable gay male for m.o.c.
    Kindly send me some pictures of you.
    let me know where ur from


    Me:
    Hey ........
    Well am an Arab, 27 yo, well educated and working in UAE
    Am so attached to my family, and would love to make them happy
    I am straight acting, and discreet, have been like that all my life and aiming to keep it like that. So I just wana get ready.

    Girl:
    "YUCKKKK!!!

    i do NOT want ur kind.

    last thing i need is an AL-QUEDA, TERRORIST BITCH WHORE like u as a husband.

    FUCK OFF U STUPID TERRORIST DICKHEAD!!

    i just wish to know what i have done wrong to get such a reply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i do not have any problem with religion, actually my best gf is Jewish from South Africa, and i really admire her and respect her religion.
    i think i already have enough problem with homosexuality to start looking for other political one, and expected the same from the Lesbian girl as well
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    Sorry about your situation and the rude remarks from the lesbian. The sad reality is that there are a lot of really nasty bigots out there that discriminate for all kinds of reasons. Just remember that this is her problem not yours.

    I have to agree with MenInLove that you are lucky you found out what type of person she is now. As others have said, she could have waited until you were trapped and used the situation to get money out of you or done even worse. You really need to be more careful if you are planning to go through with this plan of yours.

    I really don't agree with what you plan to do. However I have not lived in your world and I have no idea whether you are facing life threatening danger so I won't be flippant.

    You need to do what's best for you. Jut make sure you think it through, and if this is really the only recourse then do it wisely.

    Are there any gay groups where you come from that might be able to guide you through your situation?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:18 PM GMT
    You do know there is a department in the UAE that monitors all dating websites right?
    You need to be careful, but as you are on real jock I would assume you are using a VPN? Otherwise it is blocked and you get that scary standard message right?

    Then if you have no pics on your profile you should be pretty safe.
    having gay friends in the ME I understand where you are coming from, dont be suprised if some western gay men think its a silly thing to do, and not being your true self.
    In your situation its way more common than anyone would think, that is people who are gay man and lesbian getting married.

    Sorry this happened to you.

  • Romerolax

    Posts: 46

    Sep 13, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    northoz saidYou do know there is a department in the UAE that monitors all dating websites right?
    You need to be careful, but as you are on real jock I would assume you are using a VPN? Otherwise it is blocked and you get that scary standard message right?

    Then if you have no pics on your profile you should be pretty safe.
    having gay friends in the ME I understand where you are coming from, dont be suprised if some western gay men think its a silly thing to do, and not being your true self.
    In your situation its way more common than anyone would think, that is people who are gay man and lesbian getting married.

    Sorry this happened to you.



    thanks northoz
    well realjock is the only not blocked site in her, but still am using a proxy-program, wished if more people get it like u did
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    Ok so thats good you have a VPN

    You have to understand that westerners and particularly Americans on the whole have no real idea what its like in the ME. Much like many Arabs have no real idea about the West.

    We are all subjected to propaganda in the Media making us out to be the devil, in your part of the world, and you guys the bad guys in the west.

    It wasn't until I lived and travelled around that I realised we are all the same, in so many ways, and we all have different ways of navigating what cards we are dealt.

    Many in the West turn to drugs and alcohol to hide the pain of not being their true self. And in your neck of the woods many people simply hide and operate strictly in private.

    All the best to you my friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    northoz saidOk so thats good you have a VPN

    You have to understand that westerners and particularly Americans on the whole have no real idea what its like in the ME. Much like many Arabs have no real idea about the West.

    We are all subjected to propaganda in the Media making us out to be the devil, in your part of the world, and you guys the bad guys in the west.

    It wasn't until I lived and travelled around that I realised we are all the same, in so many ways, and we all have different ways of navigating what cards we are dealt.

    Many in the West turn to drugs and alcohol to hide the pain of not being their true self. And in your neck of the woods many people simply hide and operate strictly in private.

    All the best to you my friend.


    Ditto with this post. *admiring northoz*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    Tell her she's a cunt and move on to the next one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 13, 2012 4:01 PM GMT
    ohboy saidTell her she's a cunt and move on to the next one.

    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    icon_eek.gif