Office Crush

  • zjamesm

    Posts: 4

    Sep 14, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    I'm a new guy in an office, working as a contractor, and just started working there for a month now. They, the employer, put me in a workstation/cube near the way to the exit and the restroom. So by now I'm already used to people passing by my cube, and I'm facing in a position where people's sight will initially fall on me, having eye contacts with me when they passed by. Usually I ignore them, or if they nod, smile or say hi, I return the gesture.

    But then there's this one guy, a really really gooodlooking guy btw, everytime he passed by in the morning, I always catch him looking at me, he rarely smiles at me, and never nod nor greet me, or even frown at me, he just blankly stares at me. At first I thought, like I said, maybe it is just the line of sight thing. So what I did I always wait for him in the morning, and he never misses, we always look at each other until he get pass by my cube, and he never backs down on this staring contest. I was thinking that if he's straight (or not interested on me), and getting uncomfortable with me staring at him, even if he accidentally drop his sight initially at me, he will immediately look at the other way as a sign that he's not interested, right? But he never do that, he just stays looking at me while passing by my cube in the morning.

    So I'm just wondering, do straight guys do that? To have a staring contest with you for no reason? Anyway, I'm still in the closet at work, so I don't know how to approach this guy. He's on a different department, so I have no opportunity working with him. I had some past opportunities before that I was alone with him, in the restroom and in the canteen, but I'm so shy that I couldn't even say Hi to him. And also afraid that saying Hi in the restroom might creep him out, lol. Btw, I'm Asian, and I'm the typical shy and quiet Asian, while he's white, American I assumed. And I think he's already a regular employee. So since he's American, I was hoping he's the typical American, cocky and unabashed and friendly, and since he's the more older employee, he'll be more secure to make a first move than me, who is just a contractor.

    So what do you guys think, should I make the first move, or should I just wait for him to make the first move? At least maybe just try to be friendly? Just basing on my story here, though I know it's not really enough, does anyone think I have a chance?
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    Sep 14, 2012 4:21 AM GMT
    Wait till he is in a group of employees .. walk over introduce yourself to everyone including him..?
    "i'm sorry guys ..i'm a contractor here..i don't believe we have met..i am__"

    Did that help?
  • zjamesm

    Posts: 4

    Sep 14, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    Thanks Anocxu for the reply. Like I said, he's from another department, so he usually hang around with people from his department. would it be weird if I introduce myself to a bunch of people who most unlikely I'll have a chance to work with?
  • zjamesm

    Posts: 4

    Sep 14, 2012 5:02 AM GMT
    Ahhh, he's driving me crazy. Maybe he's just a poser. I wish we, discreet and closet guys, should have this secret international language or gesture, so life will be easy lol.
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    Sep 14, 2012 6:09 AM GMT
    zjamesm saidAhhh, he's driving me crazy. Maybe he's just a poser. I wish we, discreet and closet guys, should have this secret international language or gesture, so life will be easy lol.

    Google "hanky code"
    The modern version is to see if he's on grindr or craigslist.
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:23 PM GMT
    zjamesm saidThanks Anocxu for the reply. Like I said, he's from another department, so he usually hang around with people from his department. would it be weird if I introduce myself to a bunch of people who most unlikely I'll have a chance to work with?


    Well if you see these people every day..why would it be so awkward to introduce yourself?.. So i think you are incredibly shy and reserved..

    ok here we go for a second shot...what about these..?

    1) Whenever you see him staring next time .. walk over with this line..
    ...."Hey did you ever work for______ or _______"???.."You look familiar?"

    2) "Hey do you know of a few other places i could go for lunch?"
    ...."I really don't like eating at the same place all the time"

    Go balls to the wall vulgar..

    3)"Hey Stud!!".."How about gettn' on your knees so i can sit on your face?"
    kidding..

    What about 1 or 2?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:31 PM GMT
    You have I/O at your workplace, right? Send him an anonymous note if you so shy.
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    Sep 14, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    zjamesm saidAhhh, he's driving me crazy. Maybe he's just a poser. I wish we, discreet and closet guys, should have this secret international language or gesture, so life will be easy lol.

    Put a rainbow flag on your desk.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 14, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    zjamesm saidAhhh, he's driving me crazy. Maybe he's just a poser. I wish we, discreet and closet guys, should have this secret international language or gesture, so life will be easy lol.

    Put a rainbow flag on your desk.


    Best suggestion; I've seen one of the guys from work on Grindr.
  • zjamesm

    Posts: 4

    Sep 15, 2012 9:10 AM GMT
    Thanks guys for replying. yeah, i admit, I'm too shy, one of my greatest flaw. working here in america, I'm trying to overcome that.

    anocxu2) "Hey do you know of a few other places i could go for lunch?"
    ...."I really don't like eating at the same place all the time"


    @anocxu, thanks, nice advice, use your being a newbie as an advantage.

    ohboyYou have I/O at your workplace, right? Send him an anonymous note if you so shy.


    @ohboy, thanks, one of my plans is actually this, just having a hard time of thinking of a good message, without getting myself in trouble.

    anyway, thank you guys for the reply, maybe i just need some encouragement, that's why i post this icon_smile.gif