When is it appropriate to put out

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    Sep 15, 2012 7:17 AM GMT
    Hello everyone I just want to get your opinions on guys who like to take it slow and fast guys. My friend told me that the gay dating scene sex comes first before the relationship and if you don't "put out" in the first date you're considered a tease and waste of time etc. I'm the type of guy who is old school and take my time getting to know the person etc, but he thinks by doing this I'm acting like a girl or playing "the pretty boy" lol. I don't know I just feel. If I give it up fast it's slutty and I'm not respecting myself.


    If I had my way I would like to wait six months before giving it up. I'm confused about this I hope this isn't how the gay dating scene goes icon_sad.gif how long should you wait until you give it up?
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    Sep 15, 2012 11:47 AM GMT
    elusive saidHello everyone I just want to get your opinions on guys who like to take it slow and fast guys. My friend told me that the gay dating scene sex comes first before the relationship and if you don't "put out" in the first date you're considered a tease and waste of time etc. I'm the type of guy who is old school and take my time getting to know the person etc, but he thinks by doing this I'm acting like a girl or playing "the pretty boy" lol. I don't know I just feel. If I give it up fast it's slutty and I'm not respecting myself.


    If I had my way I would like to wait six months before giving it up. I'm confused about this I hope this isn't how the gay dating scene goes icon_sad.gif how long should you wait until you give it up?


    I'm waiting till marriage to put out the whole package, but if all goes well on the first few dates they might get a kiss or maybe more. I'm very slow and old school, and a lot of guys have an issue with that, but thats their problem.
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:05 PM GMT
    Elusive....In this day and age you are better off getting to know a person "Well"..before you become very intimate..!
    ..It's smarter and just practical...!

    It can save you trouble from flakes, crazies, liars and cheaters.. just to give you examples!

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 15, 2012 12:18 PM GMT
    basically, if someone buys you a bag of chips, then you're required to put out
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:24 PM GMT
    calibro saidbasically, if someone buys you a bag of chips, then you're required to put out


    WHAT?!?!?!
    Man I thought 'Hi' was the signal that it's OOONNNNN!
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:26 PM GMT
    jprichva saidI'm very old-fashioned.
    I believe you should hold off from sex until you at least know his last name.


    Like You even ever caught the FIRST name.

    Does it count if You know the last name as a result of picking thru their credit cards after lifting their wallet?????

    icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:28 PM GMT
    calibro saidbasically, if someone buys you a bag of chips, then you're required to put out


    So anyway, I have this bag of chips I bought You....
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    6 months before letting your bf make love to you?? Good luck with that.
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:30 PM GMT
    I find that to the time they start showing any interest is a good. icon_surprised.gif
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    Sep 15, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    Cash said
    calibro saidbasically, if someone buys you a bag of chips, then you're required to put out


    So anyway, I have this bag of chips I bought You....

    I meant to buy you a bag of chips... alright, lets go! icon_twisted.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Sep 15, 2012 12:41 PM GMT
    Cash said
    calibro saidbasically, if someone buys you a bag of chips, then you're required to put out


    So anyway, I have this bag of chips I bought You....


    sour cream and onion? before sex? eww. i'm a classy girl.
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Sep 15, 2012 1:09 PM GMT
    When you are both ready to have sex. If you think you're going to feel guilty afterwards then why bother doing it. You don't have to sleep with someone on the first date to keep them and if you do they're probably not worth it.
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    Sep 15, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    jprichva saidI'm very old-fashioned.
    I believe you should hold off from sex until you at least know his last name.

    Always a sound strategy! Once I was having breakfast at a sidewalk cafe with some hot guy I'd picked up the night before and a law school classmate of mine came up to our table. She hung around making fake conversation waiting for an introduction which wasn't coming. The reason eventually dawned on everybody -- I had no clue what his name was. She introduced herself and gave me a look conveying that she grasped ALL the implications.
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    Sep 15, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    It's appropriate when your dick is throbbing, rock hard
    and you no longer are paying attention to whatever words are coming out of the guy's mouth.. Lol
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    Sep 15, 2012 1:57 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    jprichva saidI'm very old-fashioned.
    I believe you should hold off from sex until you at least know his last name.

    Always a sound strategy! Once I was having breakfast at a sidewalk cafe with some hot guy I'd picked up the night before and a law school classmate of mine came up to our table. She hung around making fake conversation waiting for an introduction which wasn't coming. The reason eventually dawned on everybody -- I had no clue what his name was. She introduced herself and gave me a look conveying that she grasped ALL the implications.


    ROFL happens to me all the time even with friends lol i'm sooooo fing bad with names. takes me at least 5 times to meet someone before i'll register their name.
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    Sep 15, 2012 2:02 PM GMT
    This sounds like a traditional female's perspective to dating. The real answer depends on you and the guy and your chemistry.
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    Sep 15, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    OP: There are some guys like you, so do not despair. Read my profile. I think, self-respect is more important than any gold in the world. If you are stripped off your dignity and self-respect, then there's nothing left in the world, no matter how rich you are; people will walk all over you.
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    Sep 15, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    elusive saidHello everyone I just want to get your opinions on guys who like to take it slow and fast guys. My friend told me that the gay dating scene sex comes first before the relationship and if you don't "put out" in the first date you're considered a tease and waste of time etc. I'm the type of guy who is old school and take my time getting to know the person etc, but he thinks by doing this I'm acting like a girl or playing "the pretty boy" lol. I don't know I just feel. If I give it up fast it's slutty and I'm not respecting myself.


    If I had my way I would like to wait six months before giving it up. I'm confused about this I hope this isn't how the gay dating scene goes icon_sad.gif how long should you wait until you give it up?


    thats very respectable. in the end you dont wanna be some old, used bag of stds- so its the smartest route
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Sep 15, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    Myol saidThe real answer depends on you and the guy and your chemistry.



    ^^^ This ^^^ There really are no rules other than what you're heart and brain are telling you feels right at that particular time. I do think that, if the chemistry is right and there is potential for a relationship, that holding off at least a little while before having sex does tend to make it more intimate and rewarding when it finally does happen. That's just the romantic in me talking I guess.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Sep 15, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    crossfit7 saidOP: There are some guys like you, so do not despair. Read my profile. I think, self-respect is more important than any gold in the world. If you are stripped off your dignity and self-respect, then there's nothing left in the world, no matter how rich you are; people will walk all over you.


    What makes you think that guys who have more sex freely than you do have no self-respect? You're projecting how you'd feel onto someone else,

    By all means, play all the Victorian parlor games you want, but don't judge people who choose not to
    .


    JP, you are right on it! Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
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    Sep 15, 2012 11:03 PM GMT
    I'm a bit old fashioned too. I don't know about other guys, but I would say at least a month, I would try to wait 2-3 months though. It does depend on Chemistry to me, but also both guys have to be okay with it.
    It is dissappointing that some guys won't wait, and that some guys (even here on the forums) think so little of sex. Then again it may just be me.
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    Sep 15, 2012 11:25 PM GMT
    I'm old-fashioned too.
    I don't have sex until the pants are unzipped.

    There is no rule for when it's ok have sex except for the ones you follow. The best guideline is when youreboth ready. It might be before you know his name; it might not be fora year.
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    Sep 16, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    Very good opinions guys, I can relate to some of the opinions and see the other side of their perspectives. You guys give such good wisdom and I'm grateful of that and would be honoured to be a fellow member on here. I've got the answers I need thank you.
  • jock8873

    Posts: 120

    Sep 16, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    MolaMola saidThe best guideline is when you're both ready. It might be before you know his name; it might not be for a year.


    Key words: "both", "might" & "might not"
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    Sep 16, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    elusive saidIf I had my way I would like to wait six months before giving it up.


    I'm all for not sluttying yourself around, but jeez, 6 months? That's kind of rough, mate!