People who hit you up, then ask what you're looking for

  • RollDontWalk

    Posts: 187

    Sep 16, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    Is it just me, or is this a little rude? They're the ones who messaged you first off, who then ask what you're looking for without telling you themselves.

    Do you avoid, answer, or turn the question back on them?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    I can see what you mean. In my opinion people who talk to you usually are attracted to you. In conversation its common to ask a couple questions to get the ball rolling, they probably apply the same rules to online conversation.
    It would be awkward if they poured out their whole life story, just to get a "sorry not interested" back.
    I don't see it as rude, people have different ways of starting a conversation.
    I try my best to be polite and answer their questions no matter what they may be, but I do try to ask them the same questions back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    I really don't like it when people start a convo like that. I'm not rude to people who ask that, but since they asked a generic question I give them a generic answer.

    -What are you looking for?
    -Meeting new people to talk about all sorts of thingsicon_lol.gif

    It's interesting that usually when I give that reply I don't get a message back.

    When I'm interested in someone I just start by saying what I found interesting in their profile or ask specific questions that I'm genuinely interested in knwoing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:03 PM GMT
    Nope, I don't think it's rude. It's not a poker game. Them saying "hello" to you is them taking the first step/risk and then they ask you what you're looking for. How you answer the question will let them know if you're interested in them back. That's how I take it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    I just cut to the point and kill any kind of chance they 'thought' they had.

    and when you do that some will respond, "bro i wasn't trying to fuck just thought you were cool" or some shit like that.


    ---- FROM Boxer_Red Sep 16, 2012 at 2:01 PM
    to the point, I wouldn't be meeting any guy who enjoys watching 'Glee'. and i bet those type of guys believe they're masculine huh.

    ---- FROM idiot Sep 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM
    cool. what u lookin for?

    ---- FROM Boxer_Red Sep 16, 2012 at 1:29 AM
    im doing well thanks. and yes i am.

    ---- FROM idiot Sep 15, 2012 at 10:56 PM
    hey man, hows it goin? u in toronto?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    Everyone prefers a meaningful email to slapdash, generic messages. I think.

    My guess is that the other tension I've encountered is that some people don't like my tendency to write longer emails. So I can see where the desire might be to communicate briefly, and then the originality might get lost in translation.

    Or it could just be different approaches to marketing, for lack of a better term. Some people might dash out the largest number of messages they can, regardless of content, and see precisely what they get back in responses. It's all about qualified leads.

    I also think it helps communicate what they themselves are looking for, which is usually more transactional than my tastes.
  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 16, 2012 6:22 PM GMT
    Boxer_Red saidI just cut to the point and kill any kind of chance they 'thought' they had.

    and when you do that some will respond, "bro i wasn't trying to fuck just thought you were cool" or some shit like that.


    ---- FROM Boxer_Red Sep 16, 2012 at 2:01 PM
    to the point, I wouldn't be meeting any guy who enjoys watching 'Glee'. and i bet those type of guys believe they're masculine huh.

    ---- FROM idiot Sep 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM
    cool. what u lookin for?

    ---- FROM Boxer_Red Sep 16, 2012 at 1:29 AM
    im doing well thanks. and yes i am.

    ---- FROM idiot Sep 15, 2012 at 10:56 PM
    hey man, hows it goin? u in toronto?



    lol....glee...............................nothing better than a bunch of 20-somethings making a living pretending they are singing their way through high school....

    Sorry for veering off topic...
  • Chips005

    Posts: 16

    Sep 16, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    glee is a television show on fox. i could be totally be wrong, but i'm pretty sure it was never meant to be an accurate portrayal of the the average american teenager or life altering. haha

    i think the worse is when someone with no pictures or anything in their profile sends you a message and asks for pictures. seriously???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    jprichva said!00% Guaranteed true IM exchange yesterday

    Pictureless Guy: Hi
    jprichva: howdy
    Pictureless Guy: yeah

    (IM eventually times out)

    huh?


    How articulate. Maybe he was so intimidated he froze up?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidI can see what you mean. In my opinion people who talk to you usually are attracted to you. In conversation its common to ask a couple questions to get the ball rolling, they probably apply the same rules to online conversation.
    It would be awkward if they poured out their whole life story, just to get a "sorry not interested" back.
    I don't see it as rude, people have different ways of starting a conversation.
    I try my best to be polite and answer their questions no matter what they may be, but I do try to ask them the same questions back.


    Agreed. Actually I find it more awkward when yet start off with personal questions first. Gets me thinking...do I know u?
  • GREEKy

    Posts: 50

    Sep 16, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    Chips005 saidglee is a television show on fox. i could be totally be wrong, but i'm pretty sure it was never meant to be an accurate portrayal of the the average american teenager or life altering. haha

    i think the worse is when someone with no pictures or anything in their profile sends you a message and asks for pictures. seriously???


    I HATE this..........................
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 6:53 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidJP, you leave your IM function turned on?



    Why don't you and other people leave it on? icon_neutral.gif Maybe people like me want to talk to youse. :3

    hi-onion-head-emoticon.gif?1292862508
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:00 PM GMT
    I never thought about it that way... it depends heavily on what "platform" you're on. I think I'll just start saying "nothing" or "your mother."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidJP, you leave your IM function turned on?



    Why don't you and other people leave it on? icon_neutral.gif Maybe people like me want to talk to youse. :3

    hi-onion-head-emoticon.gif?1292862508


    The problem isn't when people like you or JP want to talk. The problem is when I get the creepy guy who insists on asking me multiple uncomfortable questions about my non-existent proclivity for fighting and/or wrestling. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    I don't get why it's a problem. It can be a little 'direct' I guess but there's nothing necessarilywrong with that approach.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:10 PM GMT
    jprichva said!00% Guaranteed true IM exchange yesterday

    Pictureless Guy: Hi
    jprichva: howdy
    Pictureless Guy: yeah

    (IM eventually times out)

    huh?


    Reminds me of the time I was at the Arcade, ready for fun with a pocketful of quarters. And there she was...Beulah, the Tap Dancing Chicken. For at least an hour I fed quarter after quarter into the machine, the faint odor of fried chicken wafting in the air....How was I to know she was standing on a hot plate? icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:26 PM GMT
    The original Muppet Show was a high point of kid-accessible culture. Now we have the Teletubbies. And people wonder why our society is on the sociological skids.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:26 PM GMT
    jprichva said!00% Guaranteed true IM exchange yesterday

    Pictureless Guy: Hi
    jprichva: howdy
    Pictureless Guy: yeah

    (IM eventually times out)

    huh?


    I'm sorry OK! I just panicked and didn't know how to continue the conversation icon_redface.gif
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Sep 16, 2012 7:31 PM GMT
    CaraJiuJitsu saidI really don't like it when people start a convo like that. I'm not rude to people who ask that, but since they asked a generic question I give them a generic answer.

    -What are you looking for?
    -Meeting new people to talk about all sorts of thingsicon_lol.gif

    It's interesting that usually when I give that reply I don't get a message back.

    When I'm interested in someone I just start by saying what I found interesting in their profile or ask specific questions that I'm genuinely interested in knwoing.


    You're right, and it is rude, but that';s what's out there today. It's the "me" generation. If you don't answer their question, they compound the rudeness and don't answer. It's "my way or the highway" What I find even worse, is after Ive given a little and they've given nothing, and I give my HIV status [neg] etc. and ask theirs, and THEY ASK MORE QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERING MINE. I ask one more time, then assume they're poz [or whatever] and I don't answer them . I'm not accustomed to returning rudeness with rudeness, but on here that's all that works. Otherwise I frustrate myself by asking again and again because rude guys only want answers. They don't supply answers.They don't have the sense to understand that it has to be a two-way street.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    charmr said
    CaraJiuJitsu saidI really don't like it when people start a convo like that. I'm not rude to people who ask that, but since they asked a generic question I give them a generic answer.

    -What are you looking for?
    -Meeting new people to talk about all sorts of thingsicon_lol.gif

    It's interesting that usually when I give that reply I don't get a message back.

    When I'm interested in someone I just start by saying what I found interesting in their profile or ask specific questions that I'm genuinely interested in knwoing.


    You're right, and it is rude, but that';s what's out there today. It's the "me" generation. If you don't answer their question, they compound the rudeness and don't answer. It's "my way or the highway" What I find even worse, is after Ive given a little and they've given nothing, and I give my HIV status [neg] etc. and ask theirs, and THEY ASK MORE QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERING MINE. I ask one more time, then assume they're poz [or whatever] and I don't answer them . I'm not accustomed to returning rudeness with rudeness, but on here that's all that works. Otherwise I frustrate myself by asking again and again because rude guys only want answers. They don't supply answers.They don't have the sense to understand that it has to be a two-way street.


    If I hear one more Boomer use the phrase "'Me' Generation" without a vast sense of irony, I am going to start pushing some onto ice floes. Don't even start.
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Sep 16, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    Chips005 saidglee is a television show on fox. i could be totally be wrong, but i'm pretty sure it was never meant to be an accurate portrayal of the the average american teenager or life altering. haha

    i think the worse is when someone with no pictures or anything in their profile sends you a message and asks for pictures. seriously???


    LOL. It';s numbers game. They're "picture collectors". They get a certain percentage of guys to send them and then you never hear from them again. And they don't care of the majority of guys DON'T send. It's hard to find genuine and reasonable guys out there. I think there's more sincerity on RealJock than some of the other sites.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:41 PM GMT
    principal0 said
    charmr said

    You're right, and it is rude, but that';s what's out there today. It's the "me" generation. If you don't answer their question, they compound the rudeness and don't answer. It's "my way or the highway" What I find even worse, is after Ive given a little and they've given nothing, and I give my HIV status [neg] etc. and ask theirs, and THEY ASK MORE QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERING MINE. I ask one more time, then assume they're poz [or whatever] and I don't answer them . I'm not accustomed to returning rudeness with rudeness, but on here that's all that works. Otherwise I frustrate myself by asking again and again because rude guys only want answers. They don't supply answers.They don't have the sense to understand that it has to be a two-way street.


    If I hear one more Boomer use the phrase "'Me' Generation" without a vast sense of irony, I am going to start pushing some onto ice floes. Don't even start.


    thank you... a "generational" explanation for why some guys ask what brings someone to a website like realjock doesn't really make sense anyway. I've been asked this question by guys of all ages and I don't think it's weird or offensive. something brought me here and they're just wondering if I want sex or a boyfriend or new friends or fitness tips, etc. pretty fair to ask i think
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    Sep 16, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    principal0 said
    charmr said
    CaraJiuJitsu saidI really don't like it when people start a convo like that. I'm not rude to people who ask that, but since they asked a generic question I give them a generic answer.

    -What are you looking for?
    -Meeting new people to talk about all sorts of thingsicon_lol.gif

    It's interesting that usually when I give that reply I don't get a message back.

    When I'm interested in someone I just start by saying what I found interesting in their profile or ask specific questions that I'm genuinely interested in knwoing.


    You're right, and it is rude, but that';s what's out there today. It's the "me" generation. If you don't answer their question, they compound the rudeness and don't answer. It's "my way or the highway" What I find even worse, is after Ive given a little and they've given nothing, and I give my HIV status [neg] etc. and ask theirs, and THEY ASK MORE QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERING MINE. I ask one more time, then assume they're poz [or whatever] and I don't answer them . I'm not accustomed to returning rudeness with rudeness, but on here that's all that works. Otherwise I frustrate myself by asking again and again because rude guys only want answers. They don't supply answers.They don't have the sense to understand that it has to be a two-way street.


    If I hear one more Boomer use the phrase "'Me' Generation" without a vast sense of irony, I am going to start pushing some onto ice floes. Don't even start.


    Sorry, but that's just HOW IT IS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    principal0 said
    ParadiseLost said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidJP, you leave your IM function turned on?



    Why don't you and other people leave it on? icon_neutral.gif Maybe people like me want to talk to youse. :3

    hi-onion-head-emoticon.gif?1292862508


    The problem isn't when people like you or JP want to talk. The problem is when I get the creepy guy who insists on asking me multiple uncomfortable questions about my non-existent proclivity for fighting and/or wrestling. icon_confused.gif


    Ah, well I consider myself fortunate I don't get usually bothered by most people. icon_smile.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Sep 16, 2012 7:54 PM GMT
    I'm guilty of asking that kind of question... I try not to though if they have stated what they are looking for in their profile, then I won't ask.
    But it's kind of hard not to when you find a guy who is interesting online and he barely has anything written in his profile lol