What is Happiness and How Do You Know When You Are?

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    Sep 17, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    This actually is not one of my depressing topics, but rather a real general question.

    Happy: Definition 1: 1.Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment

    Definition 2: 2.Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation.

    Is it having a good job, a good lover/companion/husband, lots of friends , money, success( whatever that mean) what is happiness to you.

    No, I am not talking about a good day, or times where we feel joy but I am talking about when you look at at yourself and your life and can go

    "I am really happy with my life."

    What did you have to do or get, or what happened for you to come to that conclusion.

    Opinions please. Now I realize everyone may find happiness in different things but I want to know what those things are.

    Please share it with me...who is looking for it, but before I find it, I need to know what it means, or better yet what I want.

    I am doing a little soul searching and I would like you guys input.

    What does happiness mean to you, and have you found it?
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    Sep 17, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    when I yawn, stretch, scratch ma tummy and my head rolls over and come to rest on my cup of coffee

    That's happiness
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    Here's the expert on the psychology of optimal experience, speaking about Flow and happiness. Watch, learn. It's all in our hands:

    http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow.html

    Plus you will love saying his name.
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidWhat is Happiness?


    "It's a moment before you need more happiness."
    -Don Draper
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:24 AM GMT
    Happiness can be likened unto going to church on Sundays. Everyone "Needs" Salvation in their lives and to feel that they've done something to reinforce the fulfillment of having in their lives, but come Monday everything begins to slowly change until you need to go to church again, and want to go there. If you're a church going person that is.
    Same with Happiness, you can only have it for so long before you feel it slipping away from you. Circumstances could still be at their all time best for you in that situation, but as long as the situation stays the same, your happiness will seemingly slip or fade away from you.
    For me, what matters most is that when the going gets rough, I can trick myself into a happier state of mind. With funny thoughts and a clothes pinned smile. Happiness is an illusion, as is the medium you use to create it. Be content knowing that you're okay, even if you're not happy 24/7. You have this eternal ever passing moment to figure yourself out, but then you've got the rest of the day/night to live with what you've decided. When you that time comes, chill.
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    I met some people who are into buddhism. They chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and work on bettering themselves everyday. They seem to be pretty happy and loving people. the ones I met at least. I did kung fu training regime from Sifu Shi Yan Ming and man does that guy have charisma. A silly but good thing to consider is that everyday is Christmas or New Years.
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    JamieJfromtheA saidWhat is Happiness?


    "It's a moment before you need more happiness."
    -Don Draper


    hmm...so is it temporary. No matter what?
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    Sep 17, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    Happiness is whatever you want it to be icon_biggrin.gif

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    Sep 17, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidhmm...so is it temporary. No matter what?

    How could it be permanent?
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    Sep 17, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    JamieJfromtheA saidhmm...so is it temporary. No matter what?

    How could it be permanent?


    I always thought that, but that thought in itself is kind of depressing.

    It's like..what's the point.

    love will fade

    people will die,

    age will come etc...

    so regardless if its found..it wont last. that's really sad when you think of it.
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    Sep 17, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    First, make a list of what MUST be done for the next week or so, and do them. This will take a lot of courage. Take massive actions to get the monkey(s) off your back then you'll get this emotion: relief.

    After that initial relief, you can start to set out questions. Ask yourself in your heart of hearts, "what do I really want out of my life?" Then give yourself a time-line of when those things must be accomplished. Keep telling yourself that you can do it, see it as it's already happening, and you'll get a sense of certainty.

    After you get to the sense of certainty, then you'll start to see the events and people starts to line up with whatever that is congruent with your goal. Trust it, and be thankful to those things that are happening with you, then you'll get to the sense of gratitude and fulfillment.

    Then you're very close to the proximity of happiness. True happiness that is relief from negativity, and that is backed up by courage, certainty, gratitude, and fulfillment.
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    Sep 17, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    Well, so far it seems that happiness is being defined as a state of affairs, and so yes it would make sense that happiness in that sense would be purely momentary. As Heraclitus said, all is flux.

    However there is also your internal perception of that state of affairs. That also changes, so that even if you achieve a state of affairs that would previously have induced happiness, you will not currently be happy with that.

    Things are looking bad for happiness so far.

    However Viktor Frankl would beg to differ. Essentially he argues that you can alter your internal frame of reference to better match your external state. I find this to be partially true, and largely false.

    To the extent I find it true, I think refocusing your perception of happiness based on how matters in life are trending, and how you are managing those challenges, is healthy. Hence my focus in life on work. If I am engaged in effective work that is improving my circumstances, I can tolerate subpar external affairs.

    Save for that directional sense of happiness, I think I revert to Stoicism. I may be unhappy with the external state of affairs I'm subjected to, but that is irrelevant. This extends even so far as to my not caring about whether a goal state makes me happy per se - the question is whether the process and the work itself have value.
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    Sep 17, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    cookie.jpg
  • MikemikeMike

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    Sep 17, 2012 5:52 AM GMT
    being happy can be a choiceicon_idea.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 17, 2012 6:23 AM GMT
    I knew I was happy when I realized I already had everything I ever wanted.
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    Sep 17, 2012 6:24 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidI knew I was happy when I realized I already had everything I ever wanted.


    Which is?
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    Sep 17, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    Well, my mom had once said to me when I was stressing over some major decisions in my life," Look son, (well, ok, she didn't say it quite like that) icon_rolleyes.gif you have a choice here. You can either keep being stressed over things you can't control, or not be stressed. The choice is yours" This came before I went into depression for a few month and at one point this rang through my head. I thought to myself that I could either keep feeling sad, dejected, and guilty for myself, or I could hold my head high and experience life. So I chose happiness, and have been since. Of course life keeps throwing things in the way which impede this path of bliss, but my thinking has changed from seeing them as life shattering events as opportunities to grow as a person. In the end, realizing that I could make my own happiness as opposed to others or life situations controlling it has definitely helped make me happy. Now, as for being content that's another story; I still have 88 years left to live before I want to say that as I've still gotta bunch of life left to experience icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 17, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    Happiness has this string of other words related to it like Free or freedom,the word Yes!! , Yahoo! Yeay! and the word sits invisibly behind it all is Love to be exact!

    Happiness has it relation with the word Love

    IF you ask me about 90% of the time, Happiness is archive by Love, that passion which drives to happiness in any relation for that matter.

    Like they say where there is Love there is Happiness. icon_biggrin.gif

    and probably about 30% the word Free has a link to it!

    What others? i cant think of, at the moment....icon_wink.gif

    + The word Bliss icon_wink.gif
  • HottJoe

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    Sep 17, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA said
    HottJoe saidI knew I was happy when I realized I already had everything I ever wanted.


    Which is?


    Someone to love and build a life with, hot sex, financial stability, a community to be a part of, passion for my life's work, a sense of purpose, a sense of charity, acceptance of my failures and short comings, admiration and appreciation for others, and a desire to always keep learning and making new friends.icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 17, 2012 9:22 AM GMT
    Happiness is different from everyone, there would be no set 'definition' in the dictionary. For me happiness is about accepting life as it is, not what it could be or what has been. Being at peace with that is important.

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    Sep 17, 2012 9:27 AM GMT
    Contentment is what i like to think I am most of the time, not happy not sad. But certain that even though today may be the cuntiest day of them all, that in the grand scheme of my life its only one step in the journey.
    You can try and achieve happiness but it is fleeting so is sadness, unlike depression (which going on your other posts i'd say from my experience you are experiencing)
    If you were happy all the time you wouldnt know it cause you would know no different.
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    Sep 17, 2012 11:01 AM GMT
    Sorry, but this thread reminded me of this video clip...

  • Fronotoro

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    Sep 17, 2012 11:13 AM GMT
    If I had to boil it down to one sentence, permanent happiness (or contentment, which is a milder form of happiness IMO) is when you can look in the future, and always see something to improve.

    Now for the explanation. I've always been a go-getter sort of person, I'm never pleased with how things are at the moment, and am always striving to make them better. The promise of a better day at my own hands has always pushed me through.

    Having a boyfriend helps, of course. But there are plenty of people who are single and happy, and who I think would agree with me.
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    Sep 17, 2012 1:22 PM GMT
    Happiness is a sticky wet tennis ball, brought to you with a sparkling eye and waggy tail.

    Happiness is a stretch in a warm bed.

    Happiness is the caress of warm sunlight while sitting by a window.

    Happiness is the smile of a complete stranger, for no reason whatsoever.

    Happiness is the warmth of your lovers body and the beating of his heart close to yours.

    Happiness is the weight of your day taken from your shoulders.

    Happiness is the laugh shared with friends over trivial things.

    How do you know you are happy? Do you not feel your heart beat and your chest rise and fall?

    When we look for the happiness in our lives, we often find so much of it, that it displaces the feelings we associate with sadness - the key is to look for the happiness - its there, though you may have forgotten how to recognise it.

    *Hugs*
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    Sep 17, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    sc69 saidHappiness is a sticky wet tennis ball, brought to you with a sparkling eye and waggy tail.

    Happiness is a stretch in a warm bed.

    Happiness is the caress of warm sunlight while sitting by a window.

    Happiness is the smile of a complete stranger, for no reason whatsoever.

    Happiness is the warmth of your lovers body and the beating of his heart close to yours.

    Happiness is the weight of your day taken from your shoulders.

    Happiness is the laugh shared with friends over trivial things.

    How do you know you are happy? Do you not feel your heart beat and your chest rise and fall?

    When we look for the happiness in our lives, we often find so much of it, that it displaces the feelings we associate with sadness - the key is to look for the happiness - its there, though you may have forgotten how to recognise it.

    *Hugs*


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