Positive thoughts, in a Suicidal mind. Any ideas guys?

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    Sep 17, 2012 1:32 PM GMT
    So I've been battling depression for years and I'm going to see a doc/psych at my youth centre, but I'm having a real hard time staying positive any ideas?
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    Sep 17, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    Get a life? Thank you random citizen
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    Sep 17, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    NeonEvil saidSo I've been battling depression for years and I'm going to see a doc/psych at my youth centre, but I'm having a real hard time staying positive any ideas?

    If you've had it for years then seeing a professional is a good approach. You may have major depressive disorder (MDD), also know as clinical depression. Get a diagnosis if you haven't already.

    Until you see a doctor I'm not sure if online advice from mostly non-professionals is a good idea. Without knowing the cause of your depression it's difficult to suggest a specific strategy for staying positive, and you may actually receive advice that's harmful & counterproductive.

    Do you have any ideas of your own why you're depressed? The doctor will likely want to hear them. The positive news is that depression can be controlled and even permanently banished in some individuals. Just the realization that "this too shall pass" can be helpful to the depressed. Depression is not uncommon among young men your age, and can be one of those things that you do literally grow out of, like acne. LOL! But still see that doctor.

    When facing a problem I always feel better just knowing I have a plan of action, versus having no idea at all what to do, being totally adrift. You've told us your plan, which sounds appropriate, so make sure you stick with it. Just keep reminding yourself "I've got a plan, and from there I'll take my next step, with another plan if needed, and so forth."
  • ashtare

    Posts: 9

    Sep 17, 2012 3:28 PM GMT

    Glad you are seeking help. Be real gentle with yourself. Depression has lots of causes, some of them medical and drugs can be a real help.

    You are at a stage of your life that a lot is in flux. It is a scary time and for me, I wasn't really sure who I was. It was very scary and I felt very alone. I felt particularly isolated liking guys. Take it one day at a time. Enjoy the little things. The big picture will take care of itself.

    Life is amazing and takes you places you don't expect. You have a great future in front of you. Do not be to critical of yourself. Force yourself to do things that make you smile.

    If you have patterns that take you to that dark place, try to break them. My friend had to very deliberately decide to stop his patterns. I thought he was very brave. I tend to be very shy. When I feel myself closing out the world, I touch my forehead (that grounds me) and remember my shyness doesn't define me or own me. I try do something that just makes me smile....ice cream, jerking off, reading some silly m/m rommance, go hiking....

    Take it one day at a time. The big picture can be overwhelming and will take care of itself.

    Be tough little stud. There is a world of fun and joy waiting for you.

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    Sep 17, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    I used to battle depression for a half to one year. It was mostly due to my OCD problems and the fact that I felt like my parents never really gave me a childhood. ( I won't go into details with this) I became so depressed that I went to see a psychologist and after a few sessions (Well 10 I believe) I felt better.

    Of course it took some time and I had to use a lot of my own energy to get better. The psychologist merely opened the doors to happiness, but I had to contribute some of my own willpower and walk through them icon_wink.gif

    You're gonna make it!!
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    Sep 17, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    hey Neonevil. I am really glad to hear that you'll be at good hands soon. But, from my experience, medication and psychotherapy cannot necessarily change the way you view things. Medication will be very helpful in terms of allowing you to better take control of those more depressed moments, while psychotherapy will allow you to figure out what's caused you to depressed. On the other hand, thinking and acting positively is something that can only be done through you.

    As a person fighting against Major Depressive Disorder, I see clinical depression as the less severe form of schizophrenia. While the reality that a depressed patient accepts does not deviate from the truth as much as it does for a person with schizophrenia, their perception is nonetheless heavily influenced by their emotions and thoughts, and thus can often veer away from the truth. For example, a depressed individual is more likely to see a very brief change of expression in someone's face as a sign of deception or even contempt, while the others may choose to ignore it (as they often should). Patients suffering from depression are much more wary around "signs" that their correspondents exhibit while being among them, and they are also more likely to make something negative out of what they notice than necessary.

    Understanding the aforementioned and accepting it as a fact - which it is - is the first step to treating your negativity. It is naturally easier said than done, but you will learn through your therapy process that a lot of your opinions and thoughts can often be misguided from the truth by your strong, negative emotions and thoughts. This does not make you stupid or naive compared to others, however; it only means that your depression has become significant enough to start affecting the way you see things - something that can happen to anyone, regardless of their knowledge power or experience.

    Once you have overcome that barrier of understanding your situation, you want to do little things that will help your mood stay positive. First, try to eat as healthy as possible. While I am no biology major, eating a lot of junk food can more often worsen your feelings than improve them. Sure, indulging yourself once in a while is never harmful, but try to eat as healthy as you can throughout most of the days in a week.

    Second, do a lot of exercises. I don't know what your daily schedule looks like, but a minimum of 30 minutes of good cardio exercise for five days a week is as good as taking a regular dose of antidepressant. If you are not a huge fan of cardio workout, then stick to weight-lifting. I personally am more of a weight-lifter than a runner, and while weight lifting does not produce the same physiological benefits that running can produce, it nonetheless is very effective with improving one's self esteem. It certainly doesn't hurt to see how more muscular and defined you are after each month icon_smile.gif

    Third, smile and laugh as much as possible. Always have an access to something/someone that can make you laugh. Laughing produces hormones that will make you feel more relaxed and happy, regardless of how upset you were before. Laughter - to our body - is a physiological painkiller that we have adapted to use. It's like when cats purr; purring causes the same, comforting sensation in cats that laughter does for us. If you don't think you can manage a laugh, at least smile. Often times, I find myself thinking about something depressing, but all it takes is a smile to turn all that negativity into positivity. I know it sounds real silly, to suddenly burst out into laughter or to force out a smile when you are feeling real down and having negative thoughts. In fact, it sounds almost too silly to be true. Well, you'll just have to take my words for it, but, based on my experience, trying to smile or laugh when I was feeling really down did wonders. It helped me switch back to thinking positively - if not realistically.

    Anyways, I hope this will help you battle through your negative thoughts. Just send me a message if you need anyone to talk to, or have any question you'd like to ask. You can also read about my experience with major depressive disorder on my blog, http://stevenksaid.blogspot.ca

    Wishing you all the best,

    Steven icon_smile.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11634

    Sep 17, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    Do something for someone else. It doesn't have to be much--help a neighbor, send a card to a sick relative, volunteer at a church or a library--just something once or twice a week.

    Get some mild exercise. Going for a walk can really help to clear your mind.

    Try and find some kids to hang out with. Toddlers preferably. Hang out with moms at a playground maybe. Kids have a sense of wonder that sorts out so much adult misery.

    Keep it up with the counselling and treat yourself wwell. You can make it!
  • Coug24_wyo

    Posts: 147

    Sep 17, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    Hey Neon,

    I struggle daily with MDD too and am on Zoloft for it, but the medication alone doesn't fix the symptoms or make my irrational thoughts go away. It is a daily battle and the best I can tell you right now is to keep trying, focus on staying positive and ignoring the negative and irrational thoughts that creep in. It's not always easy, but do your best, and along with seeing a counselor hopefully you can slowly be less controlled by your negative thoughts.

    If you ever just need to BS, vent, or whatever hit me up dude I'm always willing to talk, though not always readily available if you message me I'll write back when I read it!

    Keep your head up man I know it's tough,

  • asana

    Posts: 53

    Sep 17, 2012 7:23 PM GMT
    I have a weird habit of making lists of stuff when I'm depressed or anxious. I'll make a list of expenses, or bills I have to pay, or calories I've eaten in a day, or things I have to do. As you can imagine, my lists don't tend to help, and only serve to stress me out more. So recently I've started making helpful lists of positive things - things that inspire me, favourite foods, people that I love, fun things to do when I finish work. I keep them on my phone, and when I'm feeling down I reread them. It's a little 'Sound of Music', but it works!

    Also, I watch YouTube videos of otters playing. Puts a smile on my face instantly.
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    Sep 17, 2012 9:34 PM GMT
    My only advise is go see the doc asap, and don't be afraid if he/she prescribes meds.
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    Sep 17, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    Start over. Give yourself a second chance. Make a list of the things that make you unhappy and how you can change those things. Remember, it's not always about change but sometimes it's about coping and being comfortable with what you have. Every time you get negative feelings, tell yourself "NO" and start thinking about something else. Maybe choose one scenario and think about that every time you start feeling negative. Everything has a positive attribute, even the negatives.

    Only you have the power to change things. Changing your situation isn't hard but realizing you have the power to change it takes time.
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    Sep 17, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    Taz....you're always welcome here.......icon_wink.gif
  • RJR201NJ

    Posts: 9

    Sep 17, 2012 10:00 PM GMT
    Through suicide the only people you hurt are the ones that love you.
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    Sep 18, 2012 8:59 AM GMT
    Thank you all for the good advice! Its hard being positive. I've struggled with weight all my life and I'm always trying to lose weight so I can find that special someone, its frustrating that I can't find anyone.

    I feel like I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life, its hard to be positive and I am trying to be happy. I just end up going to bed- and imaging different ways I won't exist.
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    Sep 18, 2012 10:33 AM GMT
    Hang in there, it does get better. Find a competent therapist to help you through. Medication is part of it, psychotherapy with a good therapist is what helped me. I took notes, wrote down my dreams, read whatever I could find and discussed it in therapy, it makes a big difference. Hang in there. The right people come along when needed, you won't be alone forever. Everyone believes that, but someone will come along, you'll see, just hang in there. I know someone who killed himself, he had it ALL, youth, looks, money, many sexual conquests, confidence and charm, you name it, he threw it all away. Life is short, this is your life, YOU live it.
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    Sep 18, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    When life gives you lemons, make golden margaritas.
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    Sep 18, 2012 7:55 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidWhen life gives you lemons, make golden margaritas.

    This* sounds good.
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    Sep 18, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    The best thing I ever did for myself to keep myself from being overcome by these thoughts, years ago, was to tell myself positive affirmations as I walked home, cleaned the house, or stocked up glasses at work...
    It was the best way to go from, "I can't do ____icon_sad.gif", to "I can do anythingicon_neutral.gif", "I Will Do Somethingicon_smile.gif", "I DID ITicon_biggrin.gif!" and finally, "I'm WONDERFUL!!! icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif".
    Took me a few years of constant attention to my train of thought, speaking the words out loud, looking crazier as I got saner and more stable; and being aware of how I'm reacting to outside influences and to my own choices, but I'm better off... far better off now, than I ever was!
    But regardless of your level of self esteem, there is one last lesson I learned on hear, from reading a low profile member's "About Me". And that is to Love yourself not only for the wonderful things you have, are and can do, but also for all that you lack in your life. Even if people on this site are jerks, don't let it sway you much. Believe in your'self, and others will be able to also. icon_idea.gif