Responses to real sex vs. self-stimulation

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2007 2:16 AM GMT
    I don't see this discussed elsewhere, but maybe I missed it, or it's just obvious.

    I think that many people would agree that orgasms are far more intense during actual sex, than during masturbation. I used to assume that this was because if you're doing yourself, when orgasm begins, you basically are unable to keep doing it. Alternatively, maybe having another (attractive) person there just creates a whole extra level of stimulation. Or it's magic. I'm not entirely sure.
    I'd be willing to set up a rigorous experimental protocol to figure it out though...

    Some of the other threads talk about size. This too seems dependent upon the company that one keeps. I'm definitely bigger (modesty prevents me from being explicit here) when somebody else is doing the stimulation.

    What do you guys think about this topic? I suppose that if real sex weren't better, most guys would never leave home.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 18, 2007 7:42 AM GMT
    It's all about the emotion behind the orgasm, isn't it?
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    Aug 18, 2007 12:27 PM GMT
    Hummm... one factor sort of got lost here...

    Some guys, when seeking real sex, is not always just thinking about the final orgasm...

    One thing you get with real sex is the attention and ego validation that you would not get with just self stimulation... Well, this can backfire as well if the encounter does not go very well...
  • GQjock

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    Aug 18, 2007 12:33 PM GMT
    Oh absolutely 'real' sex is better
    namely because there is the visual stimulation rather than the mental imagery that is strengthened by the physical sensation of someone else's touch
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    Aug 18, 2007 6:53 PM GMT
    I perfer real sex but sometimes you don't have the time. So the hand instead of the man works.

    It you want visuals put your webcam on!

  • GQjock

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    Aug 19, 2007 12:46 PM GMT
    I find the webcam extremely frustrating
    ... akin to a sneeze that doesn't happen :(
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    Aug 22, 2007 11:27 AM GMT
    "Real Sex" or "Love Making" or whatever you want to call it is definitely much more enjoyable, even when there is no orgasm involved.

    I mean, if I'm really into a guy, I'm even more content to spend hours having "tantric" style sex without ever having an orgasm.

    However, when it comes down to an orgasm itself, I more often have the most "explosive" orgasms when I jerk off, since I know how I enjoy being stimulated the best.
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    Aug 30, 2007 6:14 PM GMT
    I think I prefer solo missions myself :)

    NICK
  • OutOfEden

    Posts: 100

    Oct 01, 2007 5:39 AM GMT
    Some drawbacks to real sex are that people get stimulated at different rates, there's been some nights where I cease being aroused because it's become painful trying to drag things out, I guess that doesn't communicate well, but what I mean is that sometimes sex with another person is a lot more intimate and the physicality suffers. Also, and this is only a recent development, if I find that something is irritating me about the sex I'll go limp so quick. I never use to 'shut down' when in bed but a few bad nights have changed the situation. So I'd say that for simple orgasm stimulation that masturbation is better but it certainly isn't a replacement for intimate connection with someone else, especially when solidly supported with emotional arousal.
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    Oct 09, 2007 2:18 PM GMT
    of course there is nothing like being with a man for so many different reasons but going solo i know how to peak several times during orgasm. goes on for quite sometime. it's to do with breath control. god knows i've had enough experience!icon_wink.gif
  • kenman1111

    Posts: 33

    Oct 15, 2007 12:29 PM GMT
    One could argue each has its own strengths. Edging can be intensely satisfying since you know what stimulates yourself best, and you can focus on your pleasure instead of both you and your partner.
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    Oct 15, 2007 3:37 PM GMT
    ok dont get me wrong real sex is amazing when its with the right person but i have been celebite for about a year now and i have found ways for me to have exploding orgasm's boardering the best sex ive ever had. when it comes to pleasuring yourself you cand just focus on your dick you have to pay attention to your other hot spots. thats one other thing that makes real sex great is the attention to detail, like the lil nibbles on the inside of your leg or a finger slightly rubbing you nipple. but like you guys have said its the emotion and the ego boost that truely send us through the roof, well at least our cum lol.
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    Nov 27, 2008 8:05 AM GMT
    Honestly... there is NOTHING better than real sex. And yeah, if masturbation was just as good or better than real sex- there is no one in hell that would every bother leaving their house... I mean come on- what would be the point?! icon_biggrin.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 27, 2008 11:38 AM GMT
    Sex with someone else = "Real sex"
    Is usually more intense yes ...depending on how INTO the other person you are

    If the answer is ... very much so then the answer will be a hearty YES
    If the answer is ... not really then Not So Much

    In regard to webcam?
    Has all the downfall to having sex with someone else with none of the benefitsicon_confused.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 27, 2008 6:57 PM GMT
    Sometimes sex is better, sometimes masturbation is better.
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    Nov 28, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    I think this totally depends on the guy...but let me explain to you why I think real sex is better A) I cannot kiss myself B) I cannot perform oral sex on myself C) Four hands is better than two D) I guess you could use a body pillow to simulate a man on you...but the real thing is much better, and finally E) you cannot wrestle with yourself! Masturbation doesn't quite cut it.
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    Nov 28, 2008 10:24 PM GMT
    The sensation of another person touching you is usually more stimulating than your own hands. And the mental excitement of having sex with someone else can also increase the intensity, especially if there're sights & sounds to heighten the pleasure, like if he's attractive & nude, and making hot sounds. Plus I've found that the act of thrusting with my hips somehow "expands" my sensation of orgasm, as compared to wanking with my hand.

    At the same time, masturbation by another guy doesn't always work as well, if he doesn't pump me the way I like, and that's sometimes difficult to communicate effectively. There's an instant feedback loop with my own hand that lets me change speed, pressure and stroke length as my needs change. Even with my partner I'll sometime take the "control stick" myself while he does his magic on my balls, strokes my legs, etc, etc.
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    Nov 29, 2008 5:13 AM GMT
    Most guys jerk off like they are running the Kentucky Derby. So little time is spent getting all hot and heavy. It is just latch onto that cock and don't let go until it shoots everywhere. Which is fine if you are pressed for time or jerking off in an elevator.

    But when you have sex with a guy there is usually a little foreplay. There is a little attention to other sensitive areas you normally neglect during masturbation. When was the last time that, while jerking off, you bit your ear lobe, licked your arm pit, gave your nipples a big radio dial twist?

    Take your time. Enjoy it. Masturbation might never be as good as bad sex for some people, but I bet it could be a lot more enjoyable.
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    Nov 29, 2008 1:54 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidWhen was the last time that, while jerking off, you bit your ear lobe, licked your arm pit, gave your nipples a big radio dial twist?


    I've never bitten my ear lobe, not a basset hound. But I do like to give another guy a fun time when I jerk him, not mechanically pump away like I'm churning butter.

    Among the techniques I like, all done with lube, is to twist as I stroke. And at the top of the stroke to run my palm over and back down the glans, often with a "polishing" motion.

    One that surprises some guys is the "conveyor belt" stroke. Using both hands one after the other, stroke in only one direction. It can be in either direction, up or down the shaft, whatever the guy likes best, or periodically switch directions. "Pulling" with an upward stroke seems best for most guys, though.

    Just as one hand reaches the end of the stroke the other begins, so there's a non-stop one-way sliding motion along his dick. Speed is always the other guy's choice, but I find that most prefer quicker with this method. Add a little twist, as above, and he should love you for it.

    PS edit: forgot to mention that the conveyor belt works best with dicks that are longer than a hand-width
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2008 1:59 PM GMT
    Masturbation to me is real sex, just with yourself. I don't think the quality of the orgasm necessarily is highly correlated with whether you are with somebody or not. It partially depends on technique, how horny you are and whether emotions are involved or not. I have had terrible sex with other guys (usually due to them being very uptight about sex), and have had amazing orgasms with myself.