I managed to go through 4 years of college without meeting an out gay man (a pretty amazing feat in liberal Ann Arbor. I later learned that something like 7 out of 40 people on my freshman hall were gay, including the RA who himself was not yet out but nonetheless set off my gaydar which I didn't yet even know I had).
I finally met an out guy through a local BBS, but he was a mess. Literally a mental case, incoherent much of the time, and he would drool. That sent me scurrying back into the closet for a year or two.
Then I met a group of out gay "normal" guys. None of them were into sports, and that's an understatement. I could identify with them on other levels, which was a godsend for me at the time. Ended up dating one of them for more than 2 years. Still, not being the "trendy" type, it was as if I was out of phase with the gay community. (They couldn't take back my "gay card" cause I was never issued one.)
My breakthrough moment came with the 1994 Gay Games - years after coming out. I don't remember how I even found out about them, but somehow I learned that football was a sport. Things started out badly. I called someone in NY who worked for some record label. I probably was supposed to be impressed but I had never previously heard of the company. Then I called California and talked to the guy who would later found Outsports. He had me call 2 guys in Texas... and Dallas said I could play for them.
Recall that I'm in Michigan. From way up north I had called the east, west and now south "coast". I flew down to Dallas and two butch, hot guys picked me up from the airport. On the way we stopped at some lavish law office where somebody worked. Having just gotten off the boat (so to speak - no silly, it was a plane), I was playing it straight lest I out these butch guys. Only to then have them yell across the office about "Gay Games" this and that. I was in a different universe and I think at that moment I decided to move to Dallas (not that I ever did). One of the guys took me to a nice (rather than seedy) gay gym (now it was my turn to drool, a condition that worsened when I met the Team Dallas Cheer squad). When we got to NY, on the first play the QB hit me on a post and I raced to the endzone for a TD. A few days later we beat the home team to take the Bronze medal. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. (And, as you can see, 14 years later I still relish reliving those moments.)
The Gay Games went overseas in 1998 and 2002, so there was no football, and other than some casual volleyball my gay sports "career" was on hold until 2005. I put together a Michigan team to play football at the Chicago Gay Games. The world had progressed in 12 years and I think most of the guys on the team were comfortable in their skins, but I always hope that we can be of help to someone just coming out who isn't cut from the stereotypical gay cloth.
Has all that made me fit into the gay community? Depends. When the subject of discussion is pop culture - and that seems to be an important topic in some circles - I'm the fish out of water. But that's true regardless of whether the participants are gay or straight. The difference is that I don't surround myself with straight people who talk about that (certainly not to that level of detail). I've often pointed out the hypocrisy that I'm considered a "freak" because I know a thing or two about a professional athelete. Yet it's perfectly "normal" to know everything about another type of entertainer?
Anyhow, I think the comments by MuslDrew and Rigsby are on the mark. You need to find gay people who are more in tune with you (beyond the initial commonality of sharing coming-out stories). Rigsby closes with "Participate in activities within the community that appeal to you." The other half of that is don't hesitate to continue lving in the "straight community" for things that the gay community does not provide - or try to provide them yourself. Start a group - or join (and thus support) a group someone else is starting. All too often people complain that there's nothing to do but then don't bother showing up when someone else tries to make something to do.
To close, let me borrow a line from President Kennedy: Ask not what the gay community can do for you, but what you can do for the gay community. That, and "if you build it, they will come".