How do you know he's the one?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    For you long-term couples out there,

    how did you know this guy was the right one for you /
    is/was serious in becoming your beau?

    I seem to have developed a phobia for starting a new relationship,
    and would like to save a heartbreak if I could.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:03 PM GMT
    bananamilk saidFor you long-term couples out there,

    how did you know this guy was the right one for you /
    is/was serious in becoming your beau?

    I seem to have developed a phobia for starting a new relationship,
    and would like to save a heartbreak if I could.


    There's no formula. It depends entirely on what you talk to each other about, how you talk to each other and what you demonstrate to each other. icon_wink.gif

    warmly,

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:09 PM GMT
    ^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:12 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?


    icon_redface.gif No, just a copper chain I wear with a plain copper disk on it that says, "think with your heart"
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:18 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    JR_RJ said^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?


    icon_redface.gif No, just a copper chain I wear with a plain copper disk on it that says, "think with your heart"

    Must figure out how to do that... think I've hurt guys when I was trying to be nice.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:23 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said
    meninlove said
    JR_RJ said^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?


    icon_redface.gif No, just a copper chain I wear with a plain copper disk on it that says, "think with your heart"

    Must figure out how to do that... think I've hurt guys when I was trying to be nice.



    I don't think there are many, if any, people that have been able to avoid that, and I was no exception.

    It's just part of life's learning curve, I think. icon_wink.gif

    ( and actually, I find you think with your heart a lot. It shows in many of your posts)
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said
    meninlove said
    JR_RJ said^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?


    icon_redface.gif No, just a copper chain I wear with a plain copper disk on it that says, "think with your heart"

    Must figure out how to do that... think I've hurt guys when I was trying to be nice.


    You haven't hurt anyone on here by being nice so far, not that I can seeeee. icon_biggrin.gif

    Anyway. To the OP:

    You know he's the one because...
    - He can make you smile without trying.
    - He tells you he thinks about you.
    - He builds you up rather than tears you down.
    - You find yourself thinking about him.
    - You feel a complete sense of connection to him.
    - He feels a complete sense of connection with you.
    - He makes you feel nervous/scared because of how well he knows you.
    - You know things about him that he may not know about himself.
    - You are honest with each other.
    - You love it when he holds your hand.
    - He tells you he enjoys holding you.
    - When you kiss, everything feels right, your insecurity a distant echo.
    - He makes you weak in the knees in all the right ways.
    - He's there for you when you most need him.
    - You're there for him when he needs you the most.
    - You actually enjoy sharing things about yourself with him.
    - He enjoys sharing himself with you.
    - You can both be vulnerable to each other and trust each other.

    It's not just whether he's the one for you but also if you're the one for him. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    ^^^ Awesome perspective and list!

    Not sure how well we may fit, from lack of real life association, but all I know is that I really want to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    Wow, great post ParadiseLost.

    For me, what separates a true friendship from a true romantic partner-in-life is this part.

    " - You love it when he holds your hand.
    - He tells you he enjoys holding you.
    - When you kiss, everything feels right, your insecurity a distant echo.
    - He makes you weak in the knees in all the right ways"

    The rest of the list is what I've found with a best friend. Platonic love. Like this:

    "- He can make you smile without trying.
    - He tells you he thinks about you.
    - He builds you up rather than tears you down.
    - You find yourself thinking about him.
    - You feel a complete sense of connection to him.
    - He feels a complete sense of connection with you.
    - He makes you feel nervous/scared because of how well he knows you.
    - You know things about him that he may not know about himself.
    - You are honest with each other.


    - He's there for you when you most need him.
    - You're there for him when he needs you the most.
    - You actually enjoy sharing things about yourself with him.
    - He enjoys sharing things about himself with you.
    - You can both be vulnerable to each other and trust each other. "

    Thanks, Mr!



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:50 PM GMT
    When you start realizing that you're a better person because of him.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said^^^ Awesome perspective and list!

    Not sure how well we may fit, from lack of real life association, but all I know is that I really want to.


    Hehehe. icon_smile.gif Time shall tell all

    meninlove said Wow, great post ParadiseLost.

    For me, what separates a true friendship from a true romantic partner-in-life is this part.

    " - You love it when he holds your hand.
    - He tells you he enjoys holding you.
    - When you kiss, everything feels right, your insecurity a distant echo.
    - He makes you weak in the knees in all the right ways"

    The rest of the list is what I've found with a best friend. Platonic love. Like this:

    "- He can make you smile without trying.
    - He tells you he thinks about you.
    - He builds you up rather than tears you down.
    - You find yourself thinking about him.
    - You feel a complete sense of connection to him.
    - He feels a complete sense of connection with you.
    - He makes you feel nervous/scared because of how well he knows you.
    - You know things about him that he may not know about himself.
    - You are honest with each other.


    - He's there for you when you most need him.
    - You're there for him when he needs you the most.
    - You actually enjoy sharing things about yourself with him.
    - He enjoys sharing things about himself with you.
    - You can both be vulnerable to each other and trust each other. "

    Thanks, Mr!





    I guess you're right, some of these things can be also the highest form of platonic love. For me, my lover is also my best friend. I cannot have my lover simply just be my lover. icon_smile.gif If my lover doesn't have my side, doesn't have my back, it just wouldn't feel the same. I guess, for me, romantic love is love of all kinds at its zenith: platonic, romantic, spiritual, universal. icon_smile.gif

    It's everything to me.
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Sep 19, 2012 1:56 PM GMT
    I absolutely hate starting new relationships. The getting to know u game is so tiring anymore. I'm such an odd ball that I have really grown to despise explaining myself to people.

    As far as knowing someone is "the one", some people just click better than others. Some people u want to clck with because they are more attractive than others. Be honest with yOurself, so you can recognize the feeling o real connection.

    Me and my husband have sort of had a strange connection that I could never really put my fInger on. Our personalities match up in so many ways, and as a team we're pretty stellar. That's what I think matters, that together you can be more effective in pursuing your ambitions.
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    Sep 19, 2012 1:57 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidWhen you start realizing that you're a better person because of him.

    This is when I realize I really Like a guy.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    JR_RJ said^^^ Awesome perspective and list!

    Not sure how well we may fit, from lack of real life association, but all I know is that I really want to.


    Hehehe. icon_smile.gif Time shall tell all

    meninlove said Wow, great post ParadiseLost.

    For me, what separates a true friendship from a true romantic partner-in-life is this part.

    " - You love it when he holds your hand.
    - He tells you he enjoys holding you.
    - When you kiss, everything feels right, your insecurity a distant echo.
    - He makes you weak in the knees in all the right ways"

    The rest of the list is what I've found with a best friend. Platonic love. Like this:

    "- He can make you smile without trying.
    - He tells you he thinks about you.
    - He builds you up rather than tears you down.
    - You find yourself thinking about him.
    - You feel a complete sense of connection to him.
    - He feels a complete sense of connection with you.
    - He makes you feel nervous/scared because of how well he knows you.
    - You know things about him that he may not know about himself.
    - You are honest with each other.


    - He's there for you when you most need him.
    - You're there for him when he needs you the most.
    - You actually enjoy sharing things about yourself with him.
    - He enjoys sharing things about himself with you.
    - You can both be vulnerable to each other and trust each other. "

    Thanks, Mr!





    I guess you're right, some of these things can be also the highest form of platonic love. For me, my lover is also my best friend. I cannot have my lover simply just be my lover. icon_smile.gif If my lover
    doesn't have my side, doesn't have my back, it just wouldn't feel the same. I guess, for me, romantic love is love of all kinds at its zenith: platonic, romantic, spiritual, universal. icon_smile.gif

    It's everything to me.


    ...it is for me, too. Bill is all that's on the best friend list AND what's on the lover list. It's the same for his feelings about me.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    FireDoor211 saidI absolutely hate starting new relationships. The getting to know u game is so tiring anymore. I'm such an odd ball that I have really grown to despise explaining myself to people.


    I know the feeling. icon_neutral.gif
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Sep 19, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Good to know I'm not the only one. Lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    @ the guys above me:

    Lol, when I was single I often felt like this around people:

    545337_472770072743120_1631198094_n.jpg
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    meninlove said @ the guys above me:

    Lol, when I was single I often felt like this around people:

    545337_472770072743120_1631198094_n.jpg

    Long distance relationships make me feel the same way.
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Sep 19, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    I always feel like that.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said^^^ =') Taking notes...
    Do you have a book on the topic, Doug?


    +1icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    for you OP icon_razz.gificon_cool.gificon_wink.gif
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    FireDoor211 saidI always feel like that.


    The more people you meet, the greater the chances of running into someone else who feels the same way.

    Bill and I are living proof of that. icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    meninlove said @ the guys above me:

    Lol, when I was single I often felt like this around people:

    545337_472770072743120_1631198094_n.jpg


    Hahaha. +D

    stick-out-like-a-sore-thumb4.jpg

    I feel more like this. icon_neutral.gif
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    Sep 19, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    You know he's the one after you celebrate your silver anniversary.
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    Sep 19, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    ParadiseLost said
    meninlove said @ the guys above me:

    Lol, when I was single I often felt like this around people:

    545337_472770072743120_1631198094_n.jpg


    Hahaha. +D

    stick-out-like-a-sore-thumb4.jpg

    I feel more like this. icon_neutral.gif

    You mean like this... ?
    Isolation+5.jpg