ONLY Trust The Onion!

"My fellow Americans, can I have a moment of your time?

It would appear that, following yesterday’s leaking of a video that shows me effectively writing off half the nation’s voters, we can pretty safely say my presidential campaign has come to an end. Oh, technically it may still exist, sure, but let’s be honest with each other: It’s all over. And I have fully accepted that reality.

So, with that in mind, I would like to use my few remaining weeks in the public spotlight to tell the nation all about a truly great religious organization called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. "

There's more at TheOnion.com