Me, My bff & His bf

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Hey everyone,

    Well story short: My bff and I went to a club and he met a guy, they exchanged phone numbers and went out the day after. After 3 dates they decided to start a relationship and I was really happy for my bff, but then I got to hangout with the bf and everyone seem to liked him, but I felt something was not right.

    I just don't know if I'm jealous 'cause he is taking my bff and I get to spend less time with him or maybe there's something not right with this guy. Guess I'm a lil bit confused in what should I do. icon_neutral.gif

    *Sorry if something is not written right , my main language is spanish.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    Don't say a word to your friend..... Just watch and wait.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    I was once a fresh faced Latino poptart like you and could have any man I wanted. Then I got a bf, a dog, got divorced, and became jaded and bitter.


    The moral of the story? Well, I'm not sure. I'm just hatin' on you right now........back to eating my Cheetoes. Alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    Is that one of those stories where you end up sleeping with the new bf and hilarity ensues? icon_twisted.gif

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    Not much you can do at this point..keep an eye out for your BFF..!
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Sep 21, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    Keep your mouth shut and be cordial and pleasant to his boyfriend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 7:29 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI was once a fresh faced Latino poptart like you and could have any man I wanted. Then I got a bf, a dog, got divorced, and became jaded and bitter.


    The moral of the story? Well, I'm not sure. I'm just hatin' on you right now........back to eating my Cheetoes. Alone.

    I have an image of your lips and fingers covered in cheetoes dust & surfing manhunt . icon_smile.gif
  • Pexus

    Posts: 70

    Sep 21, 2012 8:02 AM GMT
    If this isn't what you want...move on. Don't hang around and accept the crumbs unless you are also into the new guy too. Or am I miss reading what you mean by bf? Do you just mean a friend who is a guy? Or do you mean that he is your sexual partner, and the new guy has come along to be his new sexual partner?

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    Sep 21, 2012 9:47 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete saidKeep your mouth shut and be cordial and pleasant to his boyfriend.

    Excellent advice.

    Until you can pin down what it is about the guy that bothers you, probably best to keep it to yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 10:10 AM GMT

    Hmmm....I think you should consider your bff, he's your best friend forever, and it's important to respect his choices in a partner, just you'd want him to respect your choice in a partner. icon_wink.gif

    If something goes wrong, then you are there for your best friend forever, because that's what love does.

    It's also important to consider that they are new and just starting, so they will spend a lot of time together alone, which allows intimacy to develop without an audience.

    Tell him you love him (which you do) and that you always love hearing about him and his partner. That will keep the door open for him to lean on you if things go bad.

    warmly,

    -Doug
  • Pexus

    Posts: 70

    Sep 21, 2012 11:10 AM GMT
    My apologies for my earlier post, I miss read BFF for BF. The advice about enjoying his new found happiness is the one I would go for. Be happy for him.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Sep 21, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    Be happy for him your probably feel like this dude is dragging him away from you a bit. But if anything goes down wrong be ready! Dont even let the guy know what hit him when you come flying through that door! icon_twisted.gif so I would say for now just be happy and keep a watchful eye
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    there too many b's and f's for me to follow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2012 10:16 PM GMT
    Be there for your friend. Don't complicate anything for him or yourself. A good friend stands by to help pick up the pieces when things fall apart, or stand next to him at the wedding if the end up happily ever after. Either way, value your friendship and allow him to be his own person.

    If there is something truly wrong with your friend's new guy, then give him the benefit of doubt and hope he figures it out sooner rather than later. If you try to interject your opinion or observation, he may take it as jealousy.
  • jim_sf

    Posts: 2094

    Sep 21, 2012 10:19 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI was once a fresh faced Latino poptart like you and could have any man I wanted. Then I got a bf, a dog, got divorced, and became jaded and bitter.


    The moral of the story? Well, I'm not sure. I'm just hatin' on you right now........back to eating my Cheetoes. Alone.


    You're still fresh-faced and Latino, and can still get any man you want. Not sure about the "poptart" bit, though. Pass the Cheetos?

    To the OP: give it time, and you'll figure out what doesn't feel right.
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    Sep 21, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidDon't say a word to your friend..... Just watch and wait.

    Agree. And it's a common reaction to resent when a new person appears to be limiting the access (or "quality time") you once had with your friend. But he deserves to have a BF, as you do, and maybe if you're happy for him and supportive then you'll still remain an important part of his life. And his BF will also become your friend.

    At the same time, I'm curious what you find "not right" about this other guy. Can you describe anything, or is it just a feeling you have?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2012 2:49 AM GMT

    IMESHO:

    You can't jus' confront your bff's new homeboy ... without proof positive .... what if you are wrong!?

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