A good joke or two always helps, send some out to friends & see if you get any back, ask to share.
THE URGE TO PURCHACE A LEXUS
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse.
Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen, and walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now. But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just by touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the
THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again
and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and
this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend," Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied," I think he means her legs."